Answer Me This! Podcast

** Click here for Episode 162 **

Hey! Guys! WAIT A MINUTE! Before you all scuttle off to form your own Fight Club-style fight clubs, inspired by last week’s episode, check out the legal ramifications of such, as summarised by Ian:

A ‘real’ Fight Club would still be illegal even if the participants signed some kind of waiver because an individual is prosecuted by the state not by an individual. Imagine if Helen smashed me round the face with some kind of beautifully macraméed cosh.

This is an important principal in things like domestic violence cases where once an allegation is made, it has to be followed through (so that a violent partner cannot coerce the other to drop charges).

Never mind. Cinema on Friday instead?

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** Click here for Episode 162 **

Huw has done the experiments we’re too afraid to do (not being all that keen on heart attacks, or third-degree burns on our arms):

Further to your discussion in Episode 162, I thought you’d like to know that you CAN deep-fry an egg. My parents used to do it all the time; crack an egg into the chip pan – magic!

It’s a bit different to a shallow-fried egg: a bit more crispy around the outside, and because it floats, it allows the egg to become a bit more three-dimensional, with the yolk almost ending up spherical.

You paint a beautiful romantic picture, Huw, of the balletic egg dancing in its death-bath of oil, and of your childhood with your maverick parents and their eggsperiments.

No such romance from Bruce in Paauilo, Hawaii, but I am regretting not having asked him how he came to know the following information:

I listened to that episode the other week that talked about the etymology of the phrase “Pissing like a race horse”. There is an important bit you didn’t find in your research that is germane to that expression. Have you ever done a course of steroids? Race horses have a long association with them… and they make you piss like a race horse.

Good to know.

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** Click here for the Best of AMT2010 Part 1 **

Some cultural mysteries continue to be unsolved – does the spinning thing topple at the end of Inception? What does the man tell everyone in the video for ‘Just’? How many corpses were buried under the patio on Noel’s House Party? – but Niall from Dublin can at least try to close the following case:

Having recently walked down memory lane whilst listening to your ‘Best of 2010’ episode, I felt compelled to watch, admittedly for the first time, Guns N’Roses’ ‘November Rain’ video. Christ, it’s long, isn’t it?

I hope this means that Brendan from Cork can finally sleep at night.

Yet another reason why the traditional wedding fruit cake should be banned.

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** Click here for Episode 160 **

Now, usually you can’t get Dom from Slough to do anything. But one sniff of humanure, and he’s moved to action:

I felt I had to write regarding the humanure section, because although Helen is right to say that it is in use, there are questions over its safety, hence why it’s not more widely used.

Rose George’s book, The Big Necessity
, is excellent on this and many other subjects relating to sanitation. If you only read one book about the safe disposal of human waste, I would recommend this one.

Hurry! If you order now, you can get copies of The Big Necessity delivered in time for Christmas. It’s the perfect toilet read*, in a manner of speaking.

* as is this, of course.

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** Click here for Episode 160 **

You recall all that kerfuffle we’ve had over the past few weeks regarding which of the Queen’s speeches is The Queen’s Speech? Olly may have had factual correctness on his side by saying it was her oratory at the State Opening of Parliament, but a public vote supported my assertion that everyone assumes it’s the one she makes at Christmas. Well, here’s some damning new evidence thanks to Mike in London:

I downloaded your first episode of 2010 and began listening to it.

Boom. Investigative journalism medal please.

Congratulations Mike, here you go:

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** Click here for Episode 159 **

Harry in Kent has written in to shed further light on one of last week’s issues:

You were talking about why do restaurants say something is “86” when it’s gone.

Make of it what you will considering this is just a TGIs urban myth.

I love the idea that TGI Fridays has its own catalogue of urban myths and linguistic quirks. Anyone know any more? Tell us in the comments. No doubt the unique vocabulary concerning onion rings alone could fill a tome.

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** Click here for Episode 157 **

In last week’s episode we asked you to bemoan the goods your parents gave you, and duly you did bemoan:

Megan in North Walsham: My brother and I seem to have inherited opposite traits from our parents. My brother has inherited my Mum’s maths brain (she can barely count) and my Dad’s slim lovely ankles, whereas I have inherited my Dad’s better than average maths brain, and my mum’s horrible fat ankles. Just thought you’d like to know.

Lucy from Edinburgh: I wish I hadn’t inherited my Dad’s hatred of people or his singing voice.

Cara from Orkney: From my parents I inherited: left handedness, AB negative blood, osteoporosis (something to look forward to!), idiopathic scoliosis – although they reckon that it’s genetic – absolutely no arm muscles whatsoever, the ability to be good at most things but not quite good enough to be great, very small teeth, long, slim legs and crippling shyness.

Amber from Kansas: I inherited my father’s good looks. As you can see by my name, I’m a woman. I’m not saying I’m manly-looking. The giant rack I inherited from my mother helps.* Also my Dad is a baby-face and the roundness fits on a woman just as much as on a man. However, there are certain haircuts that I avoid like the plague, as I’ve had more than one relative mistake a picture of me with shorter hair for that of my father! One aunt in particular cheerfully asked where my grandmother found “all these old pictures of Oggie (my dad’s nickname).” It was a stack of pictures of me at various ages.

*Another bit of genes I wish hadn’t manifested themselves. Back pain and trying to shop for shirts that don’t a) make me look like a skank or b) make me look 30 lbs overweight are things I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Elly from Somerset: What I got: mum’s shortness (I am the shortest in my family for generations, and my brother is 6’4″) and my dad’s under-eye circles and keratosis pilaris. Not fetching aesthetically. I really would’ve preferred my mum’s tits and ability to do well in exams with no revision, combined with my dad’s ability to tan.

Keep ’em coming, people.

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** Click here for Episode 155 **

Youthful prankery now from James in Salisbury:

I just finished listening to episode 155 and have a story in response to Olly’s ‘Paedophile coach’ story.

Just thought I’d share this with you, only because to us, it was fucking hilarious.

Thanks for sharing, James. Although we’re not sure a schoolbag over the head gives a suitably convincing ‘Abu Ghraib’ effect.

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** Click here for Episode 152 **

Chris has something to say about Episode 151:

You mentioned the performance of King Lear with Ian Holm in it. It was many years ago when I was doing my A Levels and happened to be studying King Lear. I went to see it! My friend Adam wangled the prized tickets off his parents.

As film fans, Adam and I rated Holm for his performance in Alien rather than The Borrowers, yet neither of us were expecting to see Ian Holm get his tadger out. Which he did to great effect whilst going mad because his daughters had given him the cold shoulder or whatever. It’s Lear’s own fault it was a bloody stupid idea in the first place (as I wrote in my A level).

Much later, whenever Lord of the Rings would come into a conversation, we would both state, ‘I’ve seen Bilbo’s knob’.

Have any of the AMT team ever seen a famous member? And a smutty film or on the internet doesn’t count! It has to be in real life!

Olly saw Daniel Radcliffe’s wang when he was in Equus, but by extension of your rules, Chris, I don’t think theatrical cock-spots should be permitted either. Now that we’ve established the guidelines, readers, unleash your inner Pamela Des Barres and the comments and tell us about your encounters with famous members.

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** Click here for Episode 152 **

Richard from yumblog is not satisfied with Olly’s choice of musical beat-off material:

I have just listened to episode 151 and was amazed that you (and in particular Olly) were unable to name a single porno musical.

Just a cursory glance at my DVD collection reveals the family favourite Clitty Titty Gang Bang, the 1961 naval lark All hands on Dick, Julie Andrews’ hilarious portrayal of an aging twenties flapper in Thoroughly Modern Milf, Bob Fosse’s messy All That Jizz, the sharp-shooting Wild West fun of Annie up the Bum, George Gershwin’s saucy tale of incest Porking Aunt Bess, Peter Sellers and Goldie Horn in the British-made les-fest There’s a Girl on Girl in my Soup, the Busby Berkeley-choreographed Tea Baggers of 1933, James Cagney in Yank My Doodle Dandy, the double penetration classic Two Gentlemen do Veronica, the Tony Award-winning tale of Arthurian legend and bukakke Came a Lot, er, Anal Q, Oklahomo…

I could go on (but had better get back to work).

‘All That Jizz’ was on the shortlist of names for this podcast before we came up with ‘Answer Me This’. No kidding. Damn you Fosse for getting there first! (However we’re pleased to tell you that our other podcast ‘Porking Aunt Bess’ is still going strong.)

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