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The Administration System of Christmas

December 22, 2015

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We speculated about the best way for a parent to handle the Administration System of Christmas in AMT328 and 329, but how do you actual child-rearers do it? Brian from Montana writes:

My oldest daughter came to the truth about Christmas’s “Administrative details” on her own.

But when she asked, “So were you lying to me?” I channeled my inner Obi-Wan and said, “That depends on your point of view. Is there a magical man that can break the known laws of time and space to deliver presents each year to kids around the world? Of course not. But, did a man dressed in a red suit stop by our house the past 4 Christmas Eve’s to bring you and your siblings gifts? Yes. (We know a guy.) Are there hundreds of thousands of such men around the world who love kids so much that they put on a big red suit and bring them happiness? Yes. So, in a way, Santa is VERY real, he just isn’t magical, but why is that so important? And now that you’re in on the secret, you can be a part of it.”

She was elated at such a prospect, and I dislocated my arm patting myself on the back for avoiding what was, for me, a traumatic revelation when I found out.

We’ve been treating The Administration System of Christmas quite flippantly in the past couple of episodes, but perhaps we should be more careful if the revelation is traumatic for people. I recall a particularly traumatised Administration System of Christmas victim in chapter 1 of the Lights, Camera, Christmas episode of This American Life. Can any of you outdo the parental deception efforts there?

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shitting log

December 22, 2015

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Here’s the inside poopscoop on the Shitting Log that became our new favourite festive tradition in AMT329. Lauren in Mexico City writes:

Caga tió doesn’t actually have anything to do with uncles – it’s tió (‘log’ in Catalan) rather than tío (‘uncle’ in Spanish) so the name means “Shit log”. It comes from the imperative, “Shit, log!”, which is often part of the songs sung whilst hitting him. There are some examples in this multilingual video.

The tió is always made from a real log and many families buy several different sizes so the tió gradually “grows” over the weeks that the kids feed him. When it’s time for him to shit, the kids are sent out of the room for a minute while the presents are stashed under the blanket.

I lived in Catalonia for 8 years and have my very own little tió who now lives at my parents’ house. My mum is a big fan and brings him out of the attic every Christmas with the rest of the decorations. She usually sends me a photo of him for good measure, so I’ll do the same to you:

caga tió (1)

Like babies, logs are cute, till they start shitting.

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preggers Virgin Mary

December 10, 2015

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Ding ding ding, someone who knows what they’re talking about has written in! On the subject of paintings of the visibly pregnant Virgin Mary, Asa says:

I’m a historian of medieval art, so I was delighted to hear the subject come up in AMT328. You were talking about the lack of medieval images of Mary pregnant. There are, though, TONS of these. The trouble is that you need to know the right term to search. “The Visitation” is the term for a scene wherein Mary and her cousin Elizabeth get together to celebrate their simultaneous pregnancies — Mary pregnant with Jesus (of course) and Elizabeth a bit further along in her pregnancy with John the Baptist.

The associated feast was made church policy in 1389, which might be why there are more images starting in the 15th century, but there are also just more of all kinds of images starting in the 15th century. The Knight’s Templar theory you found is almost certainly not right. Pretty much everything said about the Templars is tinged with Dan Brown conspiracy theories.

Here’s a bit of info, here’re some images, and more here. In case you want to see some of the earlier ones, here’s a 12th century example, and an early 13th.

I bet there are older ones, but that’s surely more than you wanted, anyway.

Here to help with any of your medieval art historical needs!

Readers, this is your big chance to solve all those medieval art questions that have been plaguing you since birth!

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Quidditch

December 9, 2015

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Weddings are an emotive topic; Harry Potter is…also an emotive topic? So it is to be expected that you are feeling some very strong emotions following AMT328‘s mention of a Harry Potter-themed wedding. Look how worked up Steven is:

The “why not” for a Harry Potter (or similar) wedding: because it’s the very worst kind of forced fun. The very idea of going to a wedding where people “play Quidditch” makes me squirm with awkwardness, even considering that I’d obviously sit inside at the bar with the older members of the wedding party. I would rather not go at all than endure being around that, which I know is totally irrational, but there we go.

Like Steven, we intimated that wedding guests would not be properly playing Quidditch, causing many of you to write to tell us that Quidditch is a real game that real people play. Yeah, we know there’s a flightless version of Quidditch – similar to field hockey, but you play with the stick wedged into your crotch – but for attendees of a Harry Potter wedding, it’s this

or NOTHING.

QUIDDITCH

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fake boyfriend

December 8, 2015

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Harriet in Carentan, France is a real person, I think. She writes:

When I was about 11/12, my mom made up a boyfriend for me. He was called Tarquin and she would do impressions of him and the kinds of loving things that this, entirely fictional, person had said to me and these impressions were always done in a high-pitched voice with lots of flutterings of hands and overly posh accents.

She even carried this bizarre joke on into my teens while I had real boyfriends and girlfriends. According to her these were insignificant relationships and that Tarquin was my one true love who I would eventually marry.

I’m in my 20s now and fortunately she has stopped mentioning Tarquin, and I had managed to forget about it all until I listened to episode 327. I’d thought it was just something weird my mom did, but now I’m wondering if in fact it’s a common joke for parents to make about their children and that most people just never mention it. I’d be interested to know if any of your other listeners have written in to say that their parents invented relationships for them.

Anyone, or is this just a me-and-Harriet thing?

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Don Juan

December 8, 2015

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Ryan in Brighton wants to check the certificate for Olly’s English degree. He writes:

In AMT328, did Olly pronounce Don Juan (Don Whan) as “Don Jew-an”?

If so, was this a Freudian slip?

He did, and it wasn’t! Olly was referring to Lord Byron’s lengthy poem Don Juan, in which ‘Juan’ was indeed pronounced ‘Jew-an’, to rhyme with such phrases as ‘true one’ and ‘threw on’. This is what passed for a joke for a Romantic poet.

Click here to read the poem (and if you make it more than 25% of the way through, you are doing better than I did). Here are the Cliffs Notes if you need help.

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Show us your dolls!

November 10, 2015

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Get yer dolls out for the lads! Following AMT326‘s conclusion that seeing Russian dolls is more satisfying than owning Russian dolls, we want to see yours.

Nick has supplied:

Whilst on honeymoon in Sydney in May 2012 I came across this fitting tribute to the ‘King Of Pop’.

Stunning.

Is it wrong that I’m a little saddened they’re not in chronological order?

unnamed

And the dolls have been coming out on Twitter. We’ve got: (more…)

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circus music

November 10, 2015

circus-ela

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Duh duh diddleiddle duh duh dur durr, duh duh diddleiddle duh duh dur durr, DUH duddle ur dur DUH duddle ur dur duddluddluddle uddle uddle ududerder, here’s some feedback from Sebastian:

I just finished listening to AMT325 and wanted to chime in. I am an actual circus performer and I can say that the March of the Gladiators (which is the name that circus folk actually refer to the song as) is deeply loved among circus people. That song will make us all stand up a little taller and get ready to put on a show!

It is so tied to circus that it pulls people in from off the street to go see if there is a circus show going on. The only other song that I can think of that gets circus people feeling excited and nostalgic like that is The Teddy Bears’ Picnic.

As far as most of us are concerned, it hardly matters how the song came to be, it is just a part of circus life. You might hate it when you first join the circus, it might seem cliche for the first few years, but after years, when you’ve been from circus to circus to circus, that song stays the same and it becomes deeply comforting.

It may be deeply comforting – until IT gets involved.

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Krakow kounterplan

October 28, 2015

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Jules writes with some sweet advice for AMT325‘s Steve, who had inadvertently rumbled his wife’s birthday surprise for him of a trip to Krakow. We suggested that the least bad move would be for Steve to pretend he didn’t know. Jules advises:

So she doesn’t feel bad about him knowing, he should not tell her now – but he should learn basic phrases in Polish so when they arrive he can surprise her back!

“The cookies gave the location away when I saw the ad for Polish Rosetta Stone – I thought that was my birthday gift.” 😉

Then something positive can come out of him knowing in advance.

That’s nice-double-crossing on a level with a Richard Curtis film.* Have any of the rest of you transformed a rumbled surprise into a BONUS SURPRISE?

*Specifically Serena in Four Weddings and a Funeral learning sign language then getting invited to another wedding, just to woo Hugh Grant’s brother. So creepy romantic!

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Antarctica options

October 26, 2015

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In AMT312, the mysterious S asked about getting jobs in Antarctica, despite not being much use to Antarctica. However, Claudia supplies hope:

You mentioned tourism in Antarctica, but you forgot the corollary – someone must take the tourists!

There are several cruise ships that operate in the area of Antarctic Peninsula, most of them leave from Ushuaia. There are all sort of jobs on board the ships, ranging from cabin stewards, restaurant stewards, chefs, deck hands, boat handlers to ship officers. On the cruise department there are naturalists and guides that give lectures and guide passengers ashore.

Because most ships work other itineraries, this probably does not appear on a search for work in Antarctica.
The advantages of working on ships on relation to work on stations: we travel around and visit many sites. Bonus: we only work during summer!!!

Here are a list of crewing agencies that crew ships that work in Antarctica:
FleetPro, V-Ships and SeaChefs.

Good luck, S. If you hurry, you might be able to spend the imminent Southern Hemispherical summer living your Antarctic dream!

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egg (in)digest(ion)

October 13, 2015

“Do it right, or you won’t like where this egg is going.”

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AMT324‘s question from Swapna about how to peel a hardboiled egg really got you going. Scores of you wrote to advise Swapna to add vinegar to the boiling water, or bicarbonate of soda, to soften the shell; or that she should use week-old eggs rather than fresh, so the once pert young albumen no longer clings to the shell; or that the water should be cold, or warm, or hot. Taleb recommends this brilliantly comprehensive post, Lauren this episode of the (always delightful) Dinner Party Download. Here are a few of the many highlights from the eggstravaganza in our inbox: (more…)

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How we met

September 30, 2015

101meetcute

Since AMT322, we’ve been enjoying hearing how you found AMT – through us appearing on other shows like JJGo or Ian Collins or No Such Thing As A Fish, or mentions on 99% Invisible or The Bugle; or thanks to articles we wrote or were mentioned in; or because it was early 2007 and we groomed you on MySpace. Please tell us in the comments how you found us! But we’re guessing most of you found us by accident, or through word of mouth. Like these champs:

Davi from Boston (formerly Davi from Maryland): I started listening to it because of the recommendation of Becca from Chicago, of Andrew Lloyd Webber Ice Skating Question fame. I started in 2012 and haven’t missed an episode since!

Hannah: I discovered your podcast whilst suffering from a bout of insomnia and browsing the podcast library. The name caught my attention as did the bright yellow “cover art”. It quickly became a regular bed-time favourite.

But did it cure the insomnia or make it worse?

Alex in Glasgow: I actually found out about you guys through my friend, your longtime listener Eliot from Wrexham!

I think Eliot from Wrexham may have been a MySpace quarry, as aforementioned.

Verity from Oxford: I am a recent Oxford graduate who was introduced to AMT in July by my tutor, who helpfully suggested it as a distraction following my objectively-fine-but-slightly-disappointing finals results. I have since binge-listened to about a year’s worth of episodes.

I’m interpreting that to mean we’re part of the Oxford syllabus.

Charlie from Berkeley, CA, originally from Cleethorpes: I first found about about it from a friend of mine, Ken from San Francisco (featured in episode 261 with his This American Life-esque announcement). We were hanging out last summer, and I’d had a terrible evening, but Ken knew how to cheer me up – with a dose of Helen, Olly, and Martin the Soundman, of course.

As a British ex-pat, originally from Cleethorpes (and now, by some miracle of the British state education system, living in Berkeley CA and finishing up a doctoral degree in clinical psychology), I couldn’t help but be tickled by the podcast. I’ve been especially tickled by the fact that both Cleethorpes and the Bay Area have gotten several mentions, and cracked up on BART during the guest episode with Ian Collins who got lost after sleepwalking in a caravan park in Cleethorpes as a child.

We can never guess why AMT does it for you, but we’re definitely glad it does. Thanks for listening!

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