This week’s episode comes from AMT’s rural outpost: Olly’s new house in the countraayyyyyy. And you know who else lives there? Of course it’s Olly’s beloved cat COCO! Listen carefully for her special guest appearance in Answer Me This! Episode 277:
Plus: Olly prefers silence and privacy during lavatory-time; Helen does not endorse the Divine Right of Kings; and Martin the Sound Man destroys Olly by winning Coco’s affections (and eating all the chocolate buttons). Look at him, brazenly wooing her away from the Mann who loves her most.
Martin steals Olly’s cat’s love
In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices, Android and Windows) Olly betrays his younger self by not bothering to meet Jason Donovan.
Please do bother to send us your QUESTIONS: leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
Thanks to listener Gil8ert for the jingle, to pod-colleague Roman Mars for calling in, and to squarespace.com for bringing you this episode. To get 10% off their myriad wonderful website-building services, remember to use the code Answer10.
In the words of Atomic Kitten, see ya!
Helen & Olly
AMT277 Child-Friendly Rating: 76%. A handful of swears. Reference to a blowie. Discussion of weeing adjacent to famous people. Could be a lot worse.
AMTlistener Robbie has cottoned on to the SCANDALOUS Hollywood epidemic of plagiarism and plot-recycling:
I definitely definitely definitely remember sitting up at 3 in the morning sometime between 2006 and 2010 watching a movie with the EXACT PLOT and virtually every cast member of the HBO programme Hung – but every time I’ve tried to do find out anything about this definitely existent film Google’s just come back with nothing…
The film I saw was lighter than the show – less gratuitous swearing and cock/fanny shots – and the lead character’s wife was NOT played by Anne Heche as she is is the show – she was played by Hope Davis. One or both of the lead character’s kids may have been cast differently, too…
Answer me this! Is it possible that there WAS a film of hung made before the 2009 show that was so crap that HBO had it buried – deleted from the internet?
Everyone I’ve told about this secret Hung movie thinks I’m crazy but I DEFINITELY REMEMBER WATCHING IT!!! And I think HBO are powerful enough to erase something from history, don’t you? I mean if they thought they could remake something better but didn’t want the crappy original looming o’er the project couldn’t they just sweep it under the rug so to speak???
Readers, if you have any idea what Robbie’s on about, tell him the title of this prototypical Hung thing.
Here’s a question of quinine-filled drinkies from Garry of Sussex:
I’m a teetotaller but my favourite soft drink is Indian tonic water (the only one sold in pubs that isn’t too sweet).
But being an adventurous sort, given that I don’t drink it with gin/vodka, what might be a great way to mix it? I’ve tried lime cordial (boring) and Vimto (smelt great, tasted nasty).
Readers, repair to the comments to suggest delicious non-alcoholic tonic concoctions to Garry.
I’m currently unlucky enough to live in Birmingham, and have lived here all my life. I don’t know where the people you’ve spoken to have been in Birmingham, but I can honestly say the place is a complete dump. Anyway, that’s my opinion!
I have four facts about Birmingham. All of them are as useless as the next.
1) Birmingham has the largest City Council in Europe. Fact. (This isn’t a good thing, see fact 3.)
2) Birmingham has the longest single bus route in Europe. The Number 11 Bus route is something like 26 miles long. I don’t know exactly, and I don’t have time to Google it.
3) In Birmingham no buildings compliment each other. Take the new Central Library, it’s a complete eyesore. It’s also very different to the rep theatre next door to it, and different again to many of the buildings on Broad Street and the surrounding areas. This is due to the size of the council and their planning department, so it’s often the case building plans are not dealt with by the same people, so a consistent design isn’t kept to.
4) The old Central Library in Birmingham, that the new one replaced, has had many people try to save it from demolition. For a time, the City Council refused point blank every request, until they were asked. It turns out that the whole place is subsiding. And when you see the size and complexity of the building, it’s apparent that it’d cost a shed load of money to save.
I do have, however, one interesting fact about Birmingham:
1) Cillian Murphy, the main protaganist of Peaky Blinders, worked behind the bar of The Garrison
pub during Birmingham City home games to learn the Birmingham accent.
The gauntlet has been thrown down, readers. Do you have an underwhelming fact about Birmingham, or your own home town, that can beat a Peaky Blinders location research fact?
As Halloween approaches, in Answer Me This! Episode 276 we wonder how it is that in films, adorable little girls become UTTERLY TERRIFYING. See above. Then listen below:
We also consider:
Cineworld Stevenage Stars in their Eyes
the most tree-filled city in Europe
pound shops
Lisa Stansfield
working night shifts Freddo bars
Bon Jovi vs Dr Alban
Midlands canals vs Venetian canals
the Clee Hills vs the Urals
the Torquay Eye
Chinese restaurants
Stoptober, Movember and Dickember
and
balti.
Plus: Olly gets busy with the passover plate; you can sponsor Helen next time she’s buying posh chocolate; and Martin the Sound Man gets a whole question about his birthplace, Birmingham! Beware: the Brummie beast is unleashed…
In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices, Android and Windows) we tackle a question from Ali from Cambridge, who after her recent break-up is gripped by the urge to chop her hair off. Classic technique, Ali.
We do want your whelming facts about Birmingham, or even your own hometown, but most of all we want your QUESTIONS: leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
See you next Thursday,
Helen & Olly
AMT276 Child-Friendly Rating: 87%. A couple of swears, though the strongest are quoting a child, Regan in The Exorcist.
AMTfans, it’s very important that you understand the consequences of asking us a question. By emailing or voicemailing your question, you are giving us permission to use it in a public form. And we are NOT responsible for the consequences in your own private life.
And lo, following the question of yucky child portraits in AMT275, we received the following email from Jenny:
Instead of just letting your wife’s godmother paint a portrait of your children and hanging it in the spare room, it turns out the correct way to handle the situation is to submit a question to the favourite podcast of your wife’s eldest niece, of whom a portrait has already been painted, under the name of ‘Dave’, and then the said niece accidentally blurts out the entire thing to her favourite auntie…
Oops, sorry uncle Dunstan
Ruh roh! If it’s any comfort, Daveunstan, now that your secret is out, you probably won’t have to worry about your godmother-in-law bothering to paint your children any more.
Elise has sent something stronger – a cupful of piping hot rage:
Really Olly? Americans are children because we like pumpkin spice lattes? That’s an ironic statement coming from the man who’s so infantilized that he regularly goes to Disney World and will happily tell people that he went to a character breakfast with Mickey. On purpose!
A man who is probably trying to convince his fiance that a Disney wedding would be romantic. A man so infantilized that when the store keeper told him how to take care of his furniture purchase he was appalled that he might have to do some work and take care of his toys.
You’re the child, Olly. Grow up.
Why would Olly grow up, Elise? The life you’ve described sounds amazing! Unlike a cup of coffee flavoured with gourd.
I understand their purpose, and am grateful for their existence.
However, I do not understand the purpose of the little peep flaps on boxer shorts (and any other male underwear), and their little buttons.
I have asked my male friends, they say “No! We do not use them, we do not need them.”
As a nurse I find them rather handy for threading a catheter through, but the average male does not have a catheter. I can manage lady catheters without them.
So, answer me this: do you make full use of all the boxer short features, or do you like me agree it could be done away with, thus saving the fashion industry millions?
Mira has written in to warn against the crayon diet of AMT275:
While most people consider crayons non-toxic it is important to note that the paraffin is most likely made from petroleum (although it could also be made from coal extract) and the colors are pigment powders probably also made from petrochemicals.
A study from the University of Southhampton, published in The Lancet, showed a clear correlation between increased hyperactivity and ingestion of artificial colours. There are now some studies which are looking into the possibility of a link between petroleum products and carcinogenic effect.
So eating crayons is probably not as harmless as most people think it is.
Useful to know, Mira; and readers, remember: enjoy crayons responsibly.
Readers, go to the comments and offer your answers to this riddle from Tara:
I’ve been with my lovely boyfriend for 11 months now. At the weekend, we began to talk about what to do for our one year anniversary (particularly special as neither of us has reached this milestone before).
We talked about re-living our first date; going to the same place to eat then out for cocktails then, being the classy individuals we are, fucking in a park.
But then the conversation turned to presents. He said he knew what he was going to get me. Being a nosy girl, I asked for clues and he came up with one, extremely cryptic pointer:
“Michael Jackson meets bees”…
So, answer me this: what could this mean?! I’m so confused! I can’t think of two things that could be less related! Or that I’m less interested in…
Famous plastic surgery plus stinging…I think I’ve got it! Your boyfriend is getting you a faceful of Botox. Happy anniversary!
In writing this post, we’ve learnt that the paintings of Helen Daniels are SO dreadful, even Google Images refuses to index many of them. There’s not even an ironic Tumblr collection! The image above was the only shot we could find of the Kennedy klan’s portrait, but it remains as powerfully repellant as ever.
Why have we waved this horrifying visual in front of your eyes? Listen to Answer Me This! Episode 275 to discover:
On today’s slate:
the British Museum
loans for kids
Colosseum 4 Kids
pet heirs
Sir Hans Sloane
covered bridges
melting marshmallows
and
crayon-eating.
Plus: Olly is waiting for the long overdue system update for wooden furniture; Helen’s swerving from pumpkin-spiced lattes; and Martin the Sound Man has identified the point at which he left childhood for adulthood: when he started fancy-talking about his excrement.
In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices, Android and Windows) Helen readies herself for the inevitable call asking her to join Gladiators if they ever rereboot it. She may not be match fit, but she’s got her name all picked out.
Until that happens, we will continue to do battle with your QUESTIONS: leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
This episode was brought to you by the largesse of squarespace.com, who are also offering you a 10% discount off their service if you use the code Answer10 after you’ve used up your two weeks’ free website-building experimental phase.
See you next Thursday,
Helen & Olly
AMT275 Child-Friendly Rating: 98%. Educational content; clean language apart from the word ‘shat’. Not bad going, eh?
There’s a grand heritage of stupid ways through which to discover the sex of your unborn baby. The Chinese gender calculator. That thing where someone dangles a wedding ring on a string over the bump and observes in which direction it swings. Apparently if you walk with your right foot first, it’s a boy, but if your left boob is bigger, it’s a girl. And in the 15th-century Distaff Gospels, they recommended sprinkling salt on the head of a sleeping mother, then waiting till she wakes up and says a name, the gender of which will be the same as the baby.
But Clare from Sutton Coldfield suggests people shun all these:
Having listened to the latest episode whilst feeding my five week old baby, I felt the need to wade into the “find out or not debate”.
Conversely to Helen I did not want to find out the sex as I was hoping for a girl and knew I could only cope with a boy if I actually had my baby in my arms rather than worrying about it for months. (I had a girl, panic over!!)
The other point worth remembering is that scans can be misread. We have friend who were told in two scans they were having a girl only to have a boy. I guess not knowing is an easier surprise to handle than this!
Hmm. I wonder if the salt-on-head method is more accurate than the scans.
Answer Me This! Podcast 