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Posts Tagged ‘pets’

EPISODE 110 – too harmless to be sprayed on your enemy’s face

September 24, 2009

Hello, fellow lardbuckets,

Do you want to cut your calorie intake without having to reduce the amount of tasty and satisfying food you force down your gullet? This amazing new diet has nothing to do with acai berries, meal substitute shakes or laxatives. How? Find out all about Oliver Mann’s ‘Pacifies as it Satisfies’ regime for FREE by listening to Answer Me This! Episode 110:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Don’t worry; if you already possess an untubby belly and bony thighs, there’s still stuff in this podcast for you. For instance:

Pimp My Ride
meteorological gender inequality
Cernunnos
Your Five Gallants by Thomas Middleton
puffa jackets
morning glory
The Magician’s Nephew
Rice Krispie cuboids
and
Hurricane Martin.

Furthermore, Olly is a silver-tongued devil for felines; Helen invents the worst party theme ever; and Martin the Sound Man says ‘lady’s vagina’ completely unnecessarily. You’re surprised, I can tell.

As ever, please indulge us with your QUESTIONS, which you can put to us via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.

Also, you can give everyone a treat by sharing your outstanding stag or hen party horror stories, because you know how we love to live vicariously and hate to get our own feet covered in sick. Stick them in a comment on this post, and maybe in a few years’ time someone will make them into a hilarious and squirm-inducing film.

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

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Tags:cars, cats, diet, etymology, feminists, humiliation, morality, parties, pets, piss, prostitution, school, superstition, teachers, tubbitude, weather, witches
Posted in PODCASTS | 1 Comment »

EPISODE 108 – improvised foreskin

September 10, 2009

Good morning, fellows,

Answer Me This! Episode 108 is one for the record-books! Why? Is it the world’s fastest-ever podcast? No. Is it the world’s fattest-ever podcast? Possibly… Oh, shut up. Actually, the superlative achievement we refer to is this: in today’s episode, we read out our longest-ever question. Yes! You excited? Tarry no longer:

As well as the behemoth question, we talk about:

Lady Sovereign
the Romans
cuttlefish
head ushers
pierced kidneys
Coinstar machines
sex in tents
Sinitta
Brian Wilson
Mr Bean
and
groats.

Furthermore, Olly displays a surprisingly delicate sensibility towards the bare-chested ladies of Page 3; Helen blames a broken mirror for her sub-par exam results, rather than the fact that she was too lazy to do any revision; and Martin the Sound Man will soon be auditioning for a new Best Man – mint-condition applicants ONLY, please; he’s not taking anyone else’s cast-offs.

This episode also comes with illustrations! Like Storyteller magazine – ‘ting!’ when you turn the page, etc etc – only in this case, your cue is when you hear us talking about grisly piercings, at which point you may want to view these pictures (SFW, don’t worry).

If you have any unusual body-art you feel compelled to share with us – or, preferably, you have some QUESTIONS for us, please get in touch: email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or croon them into the ear of Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877. Plus if you’re a cheapskate with a bit of advice for William from Larne’s student budget, please leave it in a comment below (don’t worry, it’s totally free).

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

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Tags:adornments, air travel, camping, dilemmas, etymology, festivals, friendship, hygiene, manners, money, penises, pets, piercings, public indecency, romance, sex, sleeping, Stanmore, superstition, swimming, weddings
Posted in PODCASTS | 1 Comment »

EPISODE 98 – what happens in Vegas

June 4, 2009

Listeners, we’re afraid that the day has come: it’s the last episode of the series! We’re sure you can cope; you seem like an emotionally sturdy bunch. And if our absence does prove too hard to bear, check out Episodes 1-40 for another 15+ hours of our company. Or, alternatively, our Early Learning Curve will make you miss us a lot less.

Anyway, on with today’s show, which is of course Episode 98:

In which there are:

party whistles
big bands
pot pourri
Ben Folds
‘Happy Birthday’
oestrogen
the Nottingham Eye
glottal stops
Michelle Pfeiffer
TGI Friday
cat grass
and
The Ivy festivity FAIL.

Plus: in trying out the kind of etymological web-research that Helen usually does, Olly finds himself in a whole world of Rude; Helen gives some surefire tips to repel potential flatmates; and Martin the Sound Man generally behaves himself, probably distracted by the fact that he has a new live EP out and you lovely chaps can download it for FREE from thesoundoftheladies.com/music

This being Episode 98, I’m sure the mathematical among you have clocked that our 100th episode is fast approaching. Naturally, we will not be letting our passage into triple figures go unmarked, and at the end of the episode we reveal how we’re celebrating it. Our Facebook Fanclub alone will be privy to how you too can be with us for the party of the ~~century~~ day, so join it stat!

Other than that, please do stay in touch while we’re away by sending us your QUESTIONS for the next series: call 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And even though we’re giving our voices a rest, we’ll still be putting bits and bobs up on this website throughout our break, so do come visit; and we’ll see you back here on July 9th for Episode 99!

Love,

Helen and Olly

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Tags:appendix, Arabic, B&Q, birthdays, cats, Catwoman, cohabitation, diets, DIY, embarrassment, emergency surgery, etiquette, exes, household, Kristin Hersh, pets, petty grievances, prolapse, Scarborough, sex, TGI Fridays, tourist traps, university
Posted in PODCASTS | 2 Comments »

cokey dogs

May 21, 2009

Here’s a sorry tale from Rob in Sampford Peverell, Devon:

Following your discussion of sniffer dogs getting hooked on cocaine in Episode 95, it became clear you haven’t heard of the sad story of sniffer dog Max, from the Avon and Somerset constabulary:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/4357551/Police-sniffer-dog-dies-of-nose-cancer-after-sniffing-cocaine.html

(And yes, the wheels are real, I met him once).

R.I.P. Max. It seems dogs can have side effects of years of coke-sniffing, if not snorting.

R.I.P. Max indeed! Stay away from drugs, kids and dogs!

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Tags:drugs, law, pets, police, tragedy
Posted in Answer Us Back! Your time to opine | Leave a Comment »

EPISODE 95 – the Berkshire Hunt

May 14, 2009

Hello!

We’ve got something that will make you laugh. It’s the video at the bottom of this blog post. But before you scroll all the way down there, have a listen to Episode 95:

Wherein we expound upon:

All Tomorrow’s Parties
the V&A hat exhibition
Biblical symbolism in Come Dine With Me
Winegate
The Insider
Portuguese custard tarts
sports massage
one half of Hue and Cry
the New York Dolls
Watchmen
Assyrian hat theory
and
Pete Doherty’s cat.

Plus our post-match report from the Sony Awards: Olly shakes the hand of a man named after a car; Helen swoons to be in the same room as Rolf Harris and the Proclaimers; and Martin the Sound Man pisses with some of Britain’s finest radio talent. Come back here later if you care to see photos of us larking about at the shindig; and by all means send us QUESTIONS! Said means include calling 0208 123 5877, Skypeing answermethis or emailing us at answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Also, listen out for us on Steve Wright in the Afternoon on Radio 2 tomorrow when we’ll be unfurling some of the web’s greatest mysteries…or just talking about stuff on the internet, as one does. (update: here’s the link on iPlayer if you missed it: fast-forward to 1.35.30 to hear our bit)

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

The Best Scenes from The Wicker Man remake:

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Tags:eggs, John the Baptist, not the bees!, pets, teenagers in love
Posted in PODCASTS | 3 Comments »

Impulse buys

April 29, 2009

** Click here for EPISODE 92 **

Lately we’ve very much enjoyed putting questions to you lot, so here is another one, from Holly:

Me and my friend Ciorstan are currently on our gap year living and teaching in China! We bought a pet rabbit, even though I live on the 4th floor, don’t have a cage and don’t actually want a rabbit. Answer me this: What’s the worst thing you’ve ever bought on impulse?

Sadly, our impulse buys are all pretty boring – all those unhandsome clothes at the back of the wardrobe; hair products that smell of worming medicine; pork scratchings; Paul Weller CDs – but we’ll put 50p on YOURS being far more amusing. Share your shopping follies in the comments below!

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Tags:crap, paul weller, pets, rabbits, regrets
Posted in extracurricular questions, User-generated answers | 7 Comments »