Archive for the ‘Answer Us Back! Your time to opine’ Category

stay strong, Lizzie!

April 1, 2015

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT310

Unfortunate questioneer Lizzie was made redundant in AMT308 and dumped by her long-term live-in boyfriend in AMT310. But if it’s any comfort, Lizzie, you’re not the only questioneer to become jobless, dumped and homeless in the space of a month. Sam currently in the Netherlands writes:

Basically the same thing happened to me in January of 2013. It was hard work at the time, but in retrospect it was great.

Less than a month later I had an offer of a nice job in another country which I took, and just less than a year ago I met my current girlfriend in that country. The job was a bit better paid than my last one so I have even managed to start saving money for the first time since I went to University.

So, I’d say that as well as being positive, take this opportunity to do something with your life that you would have liked to do but haven’t considered for long because of personal responsibilities.

And put you ex’s nads in a jar.

We’re all rooting for you, Lizzie! As Yazz would tell you, the only way is up*. Let us know if you need to borrow a jar.

*I hope this isn’t tempting fate. I really don’t want Lizzie to call in AMT312 to tell us that all of her loved ones died and she’s broken her collarbone.

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Yazz sightings

March 31, 2015

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CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT310

Behold the following correspondence from Ellie, 24, from Newhaven, East Sussex, having escaped from Bangor, Northern Ireland:

Your Yazz-related jingle from episode 310 reminded me of a Yazz-related occurance from my latter years of secondary school.

Stick with me…

In my A-level history class, two girls were discussing someone called Yazz who was singing with their church (Hamilton Road Church, Bangor, Northern Ireland).
“Yazz?” I enquired, as it is a peculiar name.

“Maybe her parents liked 80s singer Yazz, as in, ‘The Only Way Is Up’?” I joked. No one chortled but, nonetheless, I didn’t expect them to know the reference.

“Oh, is THAT the name of her song?” one girl replied. “Yeah, someone was saying she sang in the 80s.”

I’m not a Christian myself, but I asked my god-fearing auntie whether this was true and sure enough, Yazz visits and sings with the church often.

Answer me this: what the ruddy heck was Yazz doing in Bangor of all places?

Secondly, is ‘The Only Way Is Up’ some reference to heaven?!?!

As a 80s music enthusiast and sinner, I must know.

Firstly, I assume Bangor is a stop on Yazz’s regularish tours performing songs from her recent Christian albums. Secondly, Yazz didn’t write ‘The Only Way Is Up’ herself, but you certainly could interpret the lyrics as having an ecclesiastical spin. (You could also reasonably interpret them as being about a lover, a friend, or a merry band of squatters.)

Readers, feel free to analyse Yazz’s movements and spiritual life, AND/OR to share your own Yazz tales. Ever had an interesting interaction with Yazz? Or a barely Yazz-adjacent experience like Ellie’s? The only way is down, because that’s where the layout puts the comments.

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humanising the human statues

March 17, 2015

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT309

Angela from Seattle writes:

I’m just catching up on a few episodes I missed.

Re AMT287, I see our well known painted statue gentleman walk through the neighborhood to catch the bus quite often. He is also regularly downtown at the bus stop and outside his post at Pike Place. Regularly in the rain with no running of his body paint. It astounds me.

When I see him walking past my house I always want to say hello and invite him in for a drink but alas, what is the protocol there? Answer me this: how does one go about convincing a living statue to come in and chat? (Is that creepy?! I am so curious about how and what he does outside of work.)

Readers, do you think there’s a romantic element to Angela’s interest in the human statue? Does she want to Pygmalion this situation?

Whether you do or not, head to the comments to suggest non-creepy ways for Angela to extend the hand of friendship – and also to discover the secrets of his stay-put make-up.

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Fifty Shades of Prank

March 17, 2015

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT309

We love a good prank and we love a happy ending, so we double-love this correspondence from Richard in Finsbury Park:

In AMT303 you talked about my inappropriate prank on my elderly mum. I had put Fifty Shades of Grey on her Kindle with the names of the main characters changed to my mum and dad’s: Christine and Frank.

Well finally she has read the thing. I was worried she might go ape when she rumbled me. She didn’t. Look at the email she sent me. I think I have the best natured parent on the planet.

Well you little bugger, I have been making such a fool of myself as I thought that the characters in 50 Shades were really called Frank and Christine. It would never have occurred to me that the names throughout a whole book could be changed. This morning in the hairdressers I asked a lady who had read the trilogy why the names had changed in the second book. She said they hadn’t and when I said they were Frank and Christine, Lee said ‘I think someone has been having you on’. Then the penny dropped and everyone in the shop was in stitches. I don’t know how you did it and I had been telling people what a coincidence it was, how silly am I. Dad said, ‘Well, that is a typical Richardism,’ so now you can have a good laugh. Wait ’til you get here and you might find your flies sewn up or one leg off your trousers!

Mum

So answer me this: what can I do to wind her up next?

It’s surely her turn to prank you in return, isn’t it? But if you really want to risk a second round, perhaps some of the AMT squad have some cunning ideas. Readers, go to the comments and suggest a jape. I still think you’ll be hard pushed to beat Richard’s original prank, but I feel you’re up to the challenge.

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wedding present pay-off

March 16, 2015

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT309

We are pleased to hear back from Matri-Money Troubles from Kent and also AMT306:

Thanks very much for your advice. Your chat raised some good points and ultimately you were right: the groom is a good friend, it’s one day (hopefully) and I shouldn’t be such an arse about it. In the end I stuffed an envelope with a wad of cash, put it in his hand and wished them a happy honeymoon.

And boy was I glad I took your advice when, during the speeches, he thanked me for all I had done, all my help, and for being such a good friend, before giving me a rather expensive thank you gift in front of everyone.

Had I not followed your advice I would’ve:

a) felt like a dick; and
b) looked like a dick.

Thanks for saving my arse.

You’re welcome, MMT. Don’t think of it as a wedding gift; think of it as an investment in the future of your friendship. Cheap at twice the price!

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Beans Gallery

March 11, 2015

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT309

In things-we-didn’t-know-we-wanted-but-are-sort-of-pleased-you’ve-decided-to-give-us news:

Following the baked bean bath chat in AMT309, some of you have, of your own volition, decided to get busy with the photoshop. Click on the images for the full-sized pictures, and bean artist credits.

If you are moved to do the same, email your bean masterpieces and we’ll add them to the gallery, for posterity.

PS Remember the AMT Photoshop Challenge? That was fun!

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Luna still falling into bathtub

March 5, 2015

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT308

In case you were wondering about feline viral star Luna who appeared in AMT308, her manager/human owner Jess has been back in touch:

Just for clarity, I’d like to point out that despite being somewhat intially perturbed by her bath experience as a 8 week old kitten, Luna is now 6 yrs old and continues to investigate the bath EVERY SINGLE TIME I have one. She has fallen in several times whilst sitting on the edge (once with painful results for me…), so if anything she seems to enjoy falling in, or she has the memory of a goldfish.

OR she’s trying to get another viral hit out of it. But lightning doesn’t strike twice, Luna. You’re going to have to get your head stuck in the toilet seat or wear a funny outfit, otherwise everyone will think you’re just a one-trick pony cat.

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beatboxing hands

March 4, 2015

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CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT308

Tom has cast light upon the question about human beatboxers’ hands from AMT307:

I do a bit of beatboxing and I find that the hand movements are pretty involuntary – I’d have to concentrate not to do them.

I think it’s just a natural impulse that helps keep time. I find that I do the same whenever I’m playing music and have a free hand, for example when playing a one-handed piano part, the free hand starts waving up and down or tapping on something of its own accord.

I know a couple of other beatboxers who say the same thing. No doubt there is some amount of people doing it on purpose for the reasons you mentioned, but I don’t even realise I’m doing it – every time I see a video of myself beatboxing it looks like I’m having some sort of episode.

Seems sensible enough, Tom. Now, can you account for Martin the Sound Man’s air drumming nearly everywhere he goes?

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Spotted: Ainsley Harriott

March 3, 2015

ainsley

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT308

Since AMT306, it seems like we’re really doing this. We’re really sharing our Ainsley Harriott spots.

Today’s correspondent who has been Ainsley-blessed is Alistair:

I once met Ainsley Harriott in a Sainsburys checking out in front of me and a friend.

He saw us buying just vodka and coke and said, ‘Alright boys, looking to get some pussy tonight?’ It was uncomfortable.

Sounds it. Anyone else got an uncomfortable Close Encounter of the Harriott Kind to report? Let it out, let it all out. Now’s the time.

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surprise celebs

February 18, 2015

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CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT307

Nathan from Manchester has written to share his various brushes with fame:

Back in 2001 I worked in a Levi’s store in central Manchester. Often celebrities would come in to buy overpriced jeans so I served Hollyoaks and Corrie actors, premiership footballers and even the drummer from Oasis. But I didn’t recognise any of them. It became a bit of a running joke with my colleagues as I would serve someone, then they would give me clues so I could work out who I had just talked to.

The one exception was Ainsley Harriott who was unmistakable, mostly because of his size. I had seen him on TV but was still surprised with how big he was. (He said Levi’s was the only place he could buy non-custom jeans from.) I got him some huge jeans and he also tried on some imported Levi shoes from America but even the one size 12 pair we had were too small for him.

Anyway, answer me this: have you ever interacted with a celeb or star without realising it at the time? And how did you find out about it afterwards?

I have, Nathan – also when I worked in a shop, in this case Hall’s Bookshop in my home town of Tunbridge Wells. One morning in the late 90s, I sold two old French paperbacks to a man who seemed quite tipsy even at that early hour, and refused to to take his 20p change. Then after he left, another customer rushed in to ask which books Tom Baker had bought. Having been too unborn/young to see him play Doctor Who from 1974 to 1981, I was oblivious.

(I just had a look on the new Hall’s website, and it appears Tom Baker is still frequenting the place!)

Readers, go to the comments to boast of your unwitting celebrity interactions.

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Marital Munters

February 16, 2015

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT307

Mark has something to say about an AMT from the very distant past:

I’ve bought the first two batches of back episodes and been working my way though them.

I had to email when I came across Munters in episode 16. While my wife Michelle turned up to our wedding in the fancy car, I arrived in my friend’s Munters Van!

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Aah, love is beautiful! And not munting.

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chicken and egg

January 20, 2015

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CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT305

Chicken and egg recipes keep rolling in. Robbie from Santa Barbara, California says:

I read about a Moroccan dish, which I can’t wait to try…it sounds delicious! Two ingredients in pastilla, sometimes called bastilla, are chicken and eggs, each being the main ingredient in one of the layers of this complex dish. Here’s a recipe.

Henrik writes:

Since AMT305, I’ve had a think about dishes with chicken and eggs on them, and in the Philippines we have at least one: chicken galantina, which is essentially stuffed whole chicken, with a hard boiled egg inside. And some versions of our adobo (a quintessential Filipino dish where meat is cooked in vinegar, garlic, peppers and soy sauce) has some hard boiled eggs in it. But then I had one more thought: what about dishes that have chicken and eggs that are not from chickens? Like quail egg. I’ve seen dishes with chicken and quail egg. Does it make things less morbid?

Good question, Henrik. I maintain that poultry doesn’t really go with eggs, texturally or flavourwise; but if you’re eggsperimenting, why not venture further afield? Say a dish of chicken and dinosaur egg? What do you reckon? Come on readers, I know at least one of you has tried it…

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