Archive for August, 2013

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Become a friend-magnet, the AMT way

August 8, 2013

answer_me_this_tshirt_yellow

••• CLICK HERE FOR AMT265 •••

We were delighted by this email from Terry, offering a marvellous bit of advice for people going to the Edinburgh Fringe this month:

Wear your AMT t-shirt, people will be much nicer to you.

Since I got my t-shirt at Christmas I’ve worn it in plenty of different places and been seen by many people, but only in Edinburgh have I got so much love.

On August 1st I was stopped by someone flyering for the show The Curse of Elizabeth Faulkner telling me that he followed me. I explained that I wasn’t you but it is nice meeting him.

When I arrived at the Assembly Rooms, the girl at the entrance was so pleased to see a fellow fan of the show she lead me all the way across the courtyard and to the door of the room I was heading for. I’m sure any other day I would’ve been pointed over there and left to it. However I would like to say sorry to her as on the way out she did ask how the show was but unfortunately I didn’t hear that and just smiled at her like a simpleton.

Later that afternoon I also met the very nice Jay Foreman who told us he has written some of the jingles for the show.

Anyway after such a nice day I will be ordering some more merch right away.

May I recommend the mug? Mine has survived nearly six years of service without a single chip; furthermore, it’s enormous, which means less time making teafills.

Have any of the rest of you had happy experiences whilst adorned with AMT merch? Of course none of you have had bad experiences. That time you were pelted with rotten eggs was NOT because you were carrying the AMT bag (100 per cent egg-proof, by the way).

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relationship disputes

August 7, 2013

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Oh no! The romantic relationships of our questioneers are in jeopardy…because of VERY IMPORTANT disagreements. Here’s Rebecca from Chesterfield‘s:

My husband and I got married in April and so far the worst argument disturbing our newly wedded bliss is this:

When I tell my husband that I am working “next Saturday” he will then be confused as to why I then make plans for the weekend coming.

He seems to think that “next Saturday” means the coming Saturday as in “the next Saturday.
I have told him that he is wrong. That would be “this Saturday”.

Please help settle this dispute.

Fine. Readers: vote.

And now, another life-or-death point of contention from Julia from Oxford:

My boyfriend, who lives in London, is of Californian origin. We’re both flying out there this month for a holiday and I’m really looking forward to it. The problem I have is this – he is *convinced*, having lived in both the US and the UK, that American bacon is objectively superior. I like American bacon (after all, it’s bacon), but I personally prefer the British style as it’s juicier and meatier than its States-side counterpart.

I understand that tastes differ and don’t consider either type to be better than the other in absolute terms. However, I just know he’s going to go on about the damn bacon while we’re out there and insist on asking me whether it’s better every time we eat it. He’s quite reasonable about most American/British divide issues, so why on earth is he so dogmatic about this particular foodstuff? Is bacon really that polarising??

Let’s just see, shall we?

And let’s not reignite the Bacon Wars between Canada and Denmark. So many young lives pointlessly lost…

While bacon appears to be a very emotional issue in this relationship, the question Julia should be asking instead is why her boyfriend has to be right – can’t he let this matter lie and just enjoy the bacon of whichever country he’s in? What’s really going on under there?

I’m relieved I don’t live next door to them, because I don’t want to be woken at 3am by screams of “But ours is CRISPIER, Julia!”

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signet rings

August 7, 2013

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A question of knuckle-ornamentation from Jack the Gryphon from Darlington:

Which is the correct way to wear a signet ring? Should the top of the signature be nearer to the wrist or the fingernail?

Jack, just wear it whichever way up seems easiest when you’re stamping the sealing wax on all those important covenants that cross your desk.

Unless…you’re wearing it purely for style rather than comms? In which case – readers, kindly go to the comments and advise Jack. I feel queasy if I think about signet rings too long; they remind me of my creepy euphonium teacher from when I was 11, as well as their celebrity spokesmodel Jimmy Savile.

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EPISODE 265 – rat’s eye of your chap’s eye

August 1, 2013

Hello listeners,

If, like today’s questioneer Paul, you want to allow a cool breeze to circulate around your nethers, but without the hazard of being charged with indecent exposure, we recommend you wear one of these around the house. The pockets are really useful too, for carrying cooling ice-packs and emergency underpants lest you receive an unexpected guest.

Also useful, though providing no modesty coverage, is Answer Me This! Episode 265:

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Today we discuss:

Amazon
Amazons’ boobs
Amazon’s Eye
penile hygiene
straitjackets
Dire Straits
(ham)burgers
tartar vs. tartare sauce vs. the Tatars
chips and gravy vs. poutine
political speech spoilers
The Bridge
Jeff Bezos
and
the Midlands swing vote.

Plus: Olly thinks one of the world’s biggest online retailers caters especially to his ego; Helen improves upon Ed Miliband’s cigarette packet zingers; and Martin the Sound Man explains why Sylvia Plath ate her mince raw.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App, which is available for iDevices and Android, we come up with a more fitting name for the Shakespeare play that so nettled Olly in last week’s episode. Look out for a production of Much Ado About Vagina at an outdoor theatre near you.

Our podcast would be much ado about nothing without your QUESTIONS, so please send them to us: leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

AMT265 Child-Friendly Rating: 30%. Mention of ripe topics including boobs, suicide, politics, fellatio. A few swear-bombs.

PS Thanks to Kevin McLeod for music, as well as the AMT Players as usual.

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sopraNO

August 1, 2013

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Jason, 28, from Seattle has observed the example of Paul Daniels and wisely exercised more caution:

Recently I’ve become a member of a choir that gives several performances over the year. In the very beginning of our first rehearsal series, I began flirting with a girl from across the room during rehearsals. After a few weeks of this, I finally got the courage to speak to her one night.

We casually chatted about rehearsal, and other random things, until I eventually I asked what she did for a living. She told me she was between jobs. I thought nothing of this, since she seemed pretty well put together, probably in college, and assumed her life was just in transition at the moment. We really only had a minute or two to chat, so we didn’t get into many more details about one another. I was feeling very good about myself, and excited to see her the next week.

During the week however, through some social media investigations, I discovered that this girl is actually still in high school, and 16 years old! I had assumed she was in college, which explained her flakey job answer, and knew she was younger by maybe 5-6 years, but definitely not that young!

I know this girl is off limits and don’t wish to pursue anything further. But my flirting before finding out this information has put me in an awkward situation. I really can’t quit this choir and I now have to attend these rehearsals with her still giving me the flirty eye! Looking back, she was clearly making an attempt to hide her age from me, so I’m not entirely sure how to act around her now.

What do I do?! Should I just pretend it never happened and move on, or let her down easy? Can you think of any other options?

Yes, pretend it never happened! What’s the problem? Avoid one-on-one conversations with her and just style it out. You say you spoke to her for only a minute or two, so you hardly committed yourself there. And she’s sixteen. She’ll get over it, if she was ever even under it.

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