Posts Tagged ‘pointless disagreements’

Sit By Me (and watch my favourite film)

August 28, 2013



Here’s another in our unofficial series of unnecessary marital disputes. Luke in Bury St Edmunds writes:

On the most part my fiancée and I get on really well, but there’s one sticking point that drives me crazy: she refuses to watch movies I am passionate about showing her, especially the Steven King classic Stand By Me.

Answer Me This:

1. Why is she doing this to me and 2. how can I persuade her to watch Stand By Me?

1. Maybe she doesn’t want to be bullied into watching? Or perhaps she is enjoying toying with your feelings thus.

2. Compromise is key. I suggest you effect a semi-regular arrangement of watching double bills, for which you have each chosen one film. You have to watch each other’s film without prejudice, and your own film without pointing out all the things you want the other to notice about it. Afterwards, you may have a reasoned, dispassionate discussion about what you have seen, but if neither of you can be trusted to do that, then keep your opinions to yourselves and talk about something else instead.

Another option is to accept that in relationships, you’re allowed to like and dislike things your partner does not. If you try the double bill plan and your fiancée subjects you to Danny Dyer film after Danny Dyer film, this will be a good backup choice.


relationship disputes

August 7, 2013


Oh no! The romantic relationships of our questioneers are in jeopardy…because of VERY IMPORTANT disagreements. Here’s Rebecca from Chesterfield‘s:

My husband and I got married in April and so far the worst argument disturbing our newly wedded bliss is this:

When I tell my husband that I am working “next Saturday” he will then be confused as to why I then make plans for the weekend coming.

He seems to think that “next Saturday” means the coming Saturday as in “the next Saturday.
I have told him that he is wrong. That would be “this Saturday”.

Please help settle this dispute.

Fine. Readers: vote.

And now, another life-or-death point of contention from Julia from Oxford:

My boyfriend, who lives in London, is of Californian origin. We’re both flying out there this month for a holiday and I’m really looking forward to it. The problem I have is this – he is *convinced*, having lived in both the US and the UK, that American bacon is objectively superior. I like American bacon (after all, it’s bacon), but I personally prefer the British style as it’s juicier and meatier than its States-side counterpart.

I understand that tastes differ and don’t consider either type to be better than the other in absolute terms. However, I just know he’s going to go on about the damn bacon while we’re out there and insist on asking me whether it’s better every time we eat it. He’s quite reasonable about most American/British divide issues, so why on earth is he so dogmatic about this particular foodstuff? Is bacon really that polarising??

Let’s just see, shall we?

And let’s not reignite the Bacon Wars between Canada and Denmark. So many young lives pointlessly lost…

While bacon appears to be a very emotional issue in this relationship, the question Julia should be asking instead is why her boyfriend has to be right – can’t he let this matter lie and just enjoy the bacon of whichever country he’s in? What’s really going on under there?

I’m relieved I don’t live next door to them, because I don’t want to be woken at 3am by screams of “But ours is CRISPIER, Julia!”