Archive for June, 2011

bad luck

June 2, 2011

** Click here for Episode 176 **

Count your blessings, readers, as you peruse this email from beleaguered Susan from Queensland:

I’ve had a run of bad luck for the last year or so. Not loss of loved ones, but many minor incidents: car rear-ended twice in three weeks, the second a few days after the first repair; water pouring through the ceiling during torrential rain two days after moving into new house; the motor of a water pump burned out by lightning, replaced, then struck by lightning again; and lots of other stuff too tedious to list.

So answer me this: as an atheist of long standing apparently being picked on by a mischievous spirit – the only possible explanation (if you put aside the laws of chance) – how do I choose a deity to put an end to this unlucky streak? I’m willing to build a small altar, but I draw the line at any form of self-mutilation. Help.

Oh, there are other possible explanations: you were born under a bad star, you got out of the wrong side of the bed this year, karma’s a bitch and it KNOWS WHAT YOU DID… Also I’m not sure that if you become one of the Faithful, your chosen deity will agree to a one-on-one takedown of the mischievous spirit.

I do, however, feel sorry about your bad streak, so readers, go to the comments and help this unfortunate woman reverse the tide of misfortune through whichever means necessary.

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make cleaning fun

June 2, 2011

** Click here for Episode 176 **

Here’s a question from Rosie in Berlin:

I am fairly new to the podcast and have spent today listening to old episodes while I am tidying my bedroom. It is a beautiful day outside but my room is frankly a dump and my brother’s coming to stay next week. I hate tidying (hence the state of my room) and would much rather be sitting by the lake (although because this is Germany there are a lot of naked swimmer and sunbathers!).

Answer me this – how can I make tidying/cleaning fun?

Why are you asking me? My place is a hovel! There are even potatoes growing in the carpet. Instead, take guidance from the real expert (no, not Kim’n’Aggie):

Readers, if you think you know better than the Poppins, go to the comments to advise Rosie on how to achieve what I consider the impossible.

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pared-down penis party

June 1, 2011

** Click here for Episode 176 **

Here’s another lovely story of a classy soirée, courtesy of Chris from Chiswick:

I once went to a circumcision party. At the age of 16 my friend Tom had to have a circumcision because I think he didn’t wash and it got infected or something. Anyway, on return from the hospital he had invited us all to be there for his a arrival without a foreskin. After a few celebratory circumcision drinks, he then showed us his bloody stitched penis sans prepuce. I think I may have vomited.

That seems a reasonable response.

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