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EPISODE 270 – you don’t want a Newton’s Cradle happening in your pants

September 5, 2013

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Hello,

At the time of recording Answer Me This! Episode 270 dicksmack.org*, the domain name bandied around in last week’s episode, was still available. But within minutes of today’s episode becoming available, it seems one enterprising listener snapped it up. If it’s any comfort, dicksmack.com is still available…

* Apologies to any listener called Dick S. Mack for any upset all this may have caused

On today’s agenda:

ostrich eggs
symmetrical balls
gorilla balls
the ‘guess the price of the scarves’ game
book blurbs
jam vs conserve
supernatural forces vs scientific forces
Zara vs Liberty
Rick Stein’s signature vs George Orwell’s signature
Frankenstein’s monster’s education
celebrity community service
the ~~Lingerie~~Legends Football League
the We’re the Millers trailer
and
zombies.

Plus: Olly’s binders full of women are very well organised; Helen insists on having a Pocket full of articles to keep her diverted during boring shopping trips; and Martin the Sound Man finally reveals what his PhD was in. Wait – he didn’t just buy it off the internet?

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices or Android) includes Olly’s impression of every Stephen King film ever. Has to be heard to be believed.

Please be so kind as to send us your QUESTIONS (unless they’re about zombies, in which case don’t): leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Oh, and if you want to buy a signed copy of the AMT book, and to support a terrific independent bookshop by doing so, ask Bookseller Crow for one.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

AMT270 Child-Friendly Rating: 36%. F-bomb detonates within first minute of the show, followed by discussion about dicksmack.org, and the dick-related things that site could potentially contain. Several swears. Early question about testicles. Safe waters in the middle of the show, but ends with a question about a sport that is essentially fap-material.

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Tags:#eggchat, 28 Days Later, aftershave, Asda, authors, autographs, balls, birds, blurbs, books, bookshops, bookstores, boredom, butterscotch, celebrities, chimpanzees, Chris Brown, clothes, community service, conserve, cookbooks, cookery, cooking, crime and punishment, Dexter, dicks, dicksmack.org, domain names, domains, editors, eggs, fatties, film trailers, films, food, Frankenstein, Frankenstein's monster, gender divide, gender equality, genitalia, genitals, George A Romero, George Orwell, girlfriends, gorillas, internet, jam, Legends Football League, LFL, Liberty, Lingerie Football League, literature, Mad Men, manparts, Mary Shelley, men's clothes, Misery, Mitch Mortaza, movies, Nineteen Eighty-Four, omelettes, ostrich eggs, ostriches, panto, paparazzi, pay per view, penance, Pocket, preserves, publishing, relationships, Rick Stein, scantily-clad women, scarves, scrotum, sexism, Shaun of the Dead, shopping, shops, signatures, signed books, smart watch, sport, Stephen King, Stephen King's It, Super Bowl, supermarkets, supernatural, telly, testes, testicles, TV, TV chefs, TV cooks, URLs, waiting, We're the Millers, web domains, writers, Zara, zombies
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EPISODE 269 – gay rabbis in spandex

August 29, 2013

Hello listeners,

Trolls have been in the news a lot lately – the online tormentor kind, but not the toys that used to be so popular. Why is that? Did people finally take a clear-eyed look at those dinky little plastic haemorrhoids and realise that they disobeyed William Morris’s dictum regarding beauty/usefulness? Has there been a worldwide shortage of neon hair?

No. Find out the true reason for trolls’ recent retirement from the limelight in Answer Me This! Episode 269:

In which we also learn about:

wicker furniture
family holidays
murder houses
Ray Winstone vs. June Whitfield
indoor-outdoor space
the Lindbergh baby
the seven generic top-level domains
pianists’ page-turners
Thomas Dam
and
Yoshi.

Plus: Olly gets to talk about cats, and their glands, and their necks, and their cheeks, and their adorable bums; if Helen were the subject of a Thomas Harris novel, it’d be The Silence of the Chairs; and Martin the Sound Man is indignant at the idea of a male dinosaur laying an egg through his urethra.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App features a humdinger of a tale: Olly has alphabeticised his spice rack. For reals! Hear all about it, and how Helen has organised her spice rack, on your iDevice or Android.

Also, if you want to have a holiday that is more enjoyable than questioneer Pat from Canada’s, try the AMT Holiday album – no family rows or screaming kids, just one hour of us jabbering on into your ear. What could be more paradisial and relaxing than that?

Don’t be so relaxed that you forget to send us your QUESTIONS, though. Leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

AMT269 Child-Friendly Rating: 78%. Some swearing, one attributable to Olly channelling Ray Winstone. References to feline sexual delight. Detraction of possibly beloved-by-children Troll dolls.

PS Oh, HERE’s where all the Trolls disappeared to. (Aside from all the ones that have been hiding out here.)