December 8, 2014

Opinions are flooding in regarding Jenny from Vancouver’s question in AMT303 regarding whether the Phantom of the Opera phornicates with Christine.
Simon says:
Phantom of the Opera makes it clear that the Phantom did not sleep with Christine. When in the lair at the end of the musical, Christine asks him outright if he is (finally) going to rape her.
“Have you gouged yourself at last in your lust for blood?
Am I now to be prey to your lust for flesh?”
The lady doth protest to much methinks.
He answers,
“This fate this requires me to wallow in blood,
Has also denied me the joys of the flesh.”
So they’ve never had sex, he’s a virgin, and he’s impotent.
The less said about Love Never Dies the better….
Too bad for you, Simon, that Calico has written about precisely that subject:
In Love Never Dies (it is exactly as shit as you would assume), the whole thing of Christine and the Phantom having sex actually takes place after the end of the first musical. This is the same in the novel the musical is based on (yes, it’s a book. A terrible fucking book by Fredrick Forsyth).
Music of the Night is just about singing, I’d say the rape connotations don’t really hold as the last song basically has the Phantom say he is a virgin (“This face that condemned me to wallow in blood, has also denied me the joys of the flesh.”).
It’s also obvious in the book he doesn’t rape her because Erik’s (the Phantom) end speech to the Daroga (the melted troll doll dropped him from the naff musical) has him state that Christine kissed him on the forehead and it’s his first kiss and the only true touch of intimacy he ever had.
Thanks, literary detectives. I’m relieved to discover that non-consensual sex probably did not take place. But I’m the opposite of relieved to discover you lot spend so much time thinking about the Phantom’s phallus.
Tags:Andrew Lloyd Webber, Christine, Frederick Forsyth, Love Never Dies, musical theatre, musicals, Phantom, sex, The Phantom of the Opera, theatre, Tim Rice
Posted in Answer Us Back! Your time to opine | Leave a Comment »
November 27, 2014
Happy Thanksgiving to AMT’s American pals! Today’s episode is thematically appropriate for you, since it involves a question about Disney’s turkey legs; so don your turkey boxer shorts and turkey tops, strap on your turkey watch, inhale the delicious scent of turkey, plug in your turkey headphones and listen to Answer Me This! Episode 303*:


We also speak of such non-turkey topics as:
mirrors in the gym
sexy cheese
a pat from Paul Daniels
the Dewey Decimal System
Meville Dewey vs Melvil Dui
McDonald’s bagels
wanking into bagels
ripping off Starbucks
hidden Mickeys
Fifty Shades of Grey-based pranks
and
cat scat chat.
Plus: Olly favours almond milk over animal milk (maybe the question about cheesy handjobs put him off); size matters to Helen, when it comes to shelving second-hand books; and Martin the Sound Man is never going to be a serial TV quiz contestant
Today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets) is stuffed full of praise for the bountiful foods of Manchester. If you like the sound of the Answer Me This! Christmas – and even Scrooge can get behind it – then you can buy it and episodes 1-170 as an early prezzie for yourself at answermethisstore.com. You’re funding the future of AMT with your purchases, so Thank You from the future!
You can also support the future of AMT by supplying us with your QUESTIONS: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Also, be our virtual friend at facebook.com/answermethis or twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.
We’ll be back with AMT304 on 11th December 2014; stay out of trouble in the meantime,
Helen & Olly
••• AMT303 Child-Friendly Rating: 30%. Sweary from the off. Obscene question about cheese ten minutes in, followed by a Fifty Shades of Grey-based prank, then the possibly non-consensual and definitely unprotected sex in Phantom of the Opera. Overall, not an episode to listen to on the school run. •••
* And here is Helen sporting one of your traditional Thanksgiving hats:

Tags:almond milk, almonds, America, Americana, Andrew Lloyd Webber, animals, bagels, Big Mac, body image, books, cats, cheese, Coco, coffee, cream cheese, cups, dairy, dairy products, Dale Winton, Dewey Decimal System, Disney, Disney parks, Disney World, donuts, doughnuts, ebooks, Every Second Counts, excrement, exercise, feedback, Fifty Shades of Grey, fitness, Florida, food, game shows, gyms, handjobs, Hannah Spearritt, ice cream, Instagram, japes, Johnny Marr, junk food, Kindle, librarians, libraries, lube, Mario, Mario and Luigi, Mario Bros, McDonald's, McDonald's breakfast, McFlurry, McMuffin, meat, Melvil Dewey, mirrors, numbers, OK Cupid, Olly's cat, online dating, Paul Cattermole, Paul Daniels, pets, poo, pranks, prawn, prunes, quiz shows, rape, S Club, S Club 7, S Club reunion, sex, snacks, spelling reform, Starbucks, streetmeat, Supermarket Sweep, telly, The Phantom of the Opera, turds, turkey, turkey legs, TV, Uma Thurman, USA, vegans, whipped cream, Winter Olympics
Posted in PODCASTS | 3 Comments »