Posts Tagged ‘jobs’

EPISODE 125 – Spam bam thankyou ma’am

March 4, 2010

Well, hello there!

After a refreshing month in the Podcasters’ Rehabilitation Facility, we’re back with springs in our step, twinkles in our eyes, and most importantly (as far as you’re concerned), Answer Me This! Episode 125:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Into which vessel we pour such conversational juices as:

Jason Orange
henbane
Carl Perkins
the Sugababes
John Steinbeck
psoriasis vs. cirrhosis
Voodoo Doughnut fail
Boney M x4
Columbia Law School
Duffy by proxy
the truth and Alan Titchmarsh
Rickrolling
deuce (not the band!)
and
the sex life of E.M. Forster.

Plus: Olly opens up a can of whup-ass on a listener who is an even more massive pedant than Helen; Helen yearns one day to be given the sack; and Martin the Sound Man has a practical solution for all you flatulent yoga-practicing types out there.

For more solutions, practical or impractical, to YOUR QUESTIONS, send us an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or leave a voicemail on Skype ID answermethis or our question line 0208 123 5877. If you do that, we can come back next week to answer yet more of your questions, see? How splendid! See you then!

Helen and Olly

PS. Help yourself to a bit of Olly’s birth-song ‘Stand and Deliver’, why don’t you? And head to the comments to tell us what was the Number 1 song on the day you were born, too!

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EPISODE 120 – a cow is for life, not just for Christmas

December 3, 2009

This week Andrew asked what sort of chairs we sit on to do the podcast. Well, see above. Then click below for what happened when we sat on them to make Answer Me This! Episode 120:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In which we speak of:

living rooms vs. front rooms
the voice of Jennifer Jason Leigh
the Flying Pickets
Rihanna
John Spilsbury
‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’
the Regent Street Lights, sponsored by A Christmas Carol
child brides
old man attire
and
Hamburg Port.

Plus: Olly defends the Citroen Pluriel against accusations of shitness; Helen decodes the Roman Catholics; and Martin the Sound Man preaches armchair socialism from a chair without arms. To make up for it, he has a new EP for all you chaps to download absolutely free – visit his Sound of the Ladies website for the complimentary goods.

Then, before you settle into your straw-lined cardboard box for three months’ hibernation, send us YOUR QUESTIONS, via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.

See you next week, for the Best of Answer Me This! 2009 Part 1!

Helen and Olly

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EPISODE 106 – Queen Victoria’s toilet

August 27, 2009

Hey, pissheads!

As the age of economic belt-tightening continues tiresomely, listener Alex from Nottingham has kindly lent us his cunning way of getting drunk on the cheap. If you want to know what his budget route to fast-track inebriation is – involves both do-gooding and personal risk! – then just bend your ear to Answer Me This! Episode 106:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

And on today’s dance-card:

Brighton Pavilion
Jennifer Lopez
We Are Klang’s furniture
the asymmetry of marriage
London vs. York
Tallahassee vs. Martin’s sanity
Puritans vs. decor
Ann Widdecombe vs. the Jonas Brothers
double-barrelled surnames
the antiques of the future
Olly’s grandmother’s wallpaper
Helen’s father’s gullibility
and
the dragon in Shrek

Plus: Olly’s Big Blood Giveaway is ruined by alternative medicine; Helen is defeated by mere wallpaper; and Martin the Sound Man brings someone back from the dead, or at least wakes them up after a moderate thwack to the head. He’s a miracle-weaver! Bring your children to Answer Me This! Towers and he will bless them for £20 a head. 10% discount for two-headed babies.

Aaaanyway, if you have a problem concerning your two-headed baby, or perhaps another query of some kind, let us know! Send your QUESTIONSto answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or speak them to Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.

Right, we’re off to nab the last remaining blackberries in Crystal Palace park before the birds shit on all of them, but we’ll see you next week. Bye!

Helen and Olly

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Gimme a job, dickface! Sorry, I meant MISTER Dickface.

August 27, 2009

Frankly none of your interview bloopers have quite matched up to Neal from Crawley‘s stump-shaking cringerama, as featured in Episode 105, but we realise that’s a tough act to follow, and we’re still very pleased you’ve shared with us your solecisms. Check them out HERE. Below are a few more that came into our inbox. Tanya from Twickenham recounts an awkward university interview:

I had to sit on what looked like a kitchen chair in the middle of a massive room. There were two interviewers, a man and a woman – the man was sitting on the far right side of the room on a very high chair like a barstool and the woman was sitting on a very low sofa on the far left side of the room.

I felt totally ridiculous looking from one to the other from my isolated position in the middle of the room, and I could hardly hear what the woman was asking me as she was so far away. The man picked his nose throughout the whole thing.

When I left, I tripped over the rug and crashed into the door. They didn’t offer me a place.

Another university interview Fail comes from Alex from Nottingham:

I had an interview to study medicine at UEA. I took the train down and there was a death on the track ahead; I never got the details but we got an announcement that the police had made it into a crime scene as we rushed to the coach.

Later on in my interview the interviewer asked if I had any trouble getting there and I replied, “Oh not much, I came down on the train but there was a death on the track ahead.” There was an awkward pause and so I carried on, “…Which almost made me late.” I then realised this was the kind of callous thing never to say to an interviewer whose primary purpose was to analyse how caring and compassionate I was. Unsurprisingly, I did not get in.

This one from Alasdair from Austria reads more like an early-90s sitcom plot:

In 1991 as students, a friend and I went to an interview for a placement year in Wiltshire from Leicester, and it was the worst time ever. I did the normal thing and was up early and dressed smart etc., then dropped around to my friend’s house to find he had pulled the night before and was asleep with her and hungover. After an impolite and confusing rush to get him awake and help him get his clothes and car keys etc. and somehow explain to the lady that we had to go, we piled into his car and drove off.

About an hour later, after occasionally helping him stay on the road by “assisting” him with the steering wheel, we ran out of petrol. I had to walk sweating up a hill with a petrol can and luckily found a farmer’s house and persuaded the farmer’s wife to drive me to a petrol station and get petrol. At least it was a respite from the stale alcohol fumes from my friend’s mouth. He was of course asleep when I got back to the car.

We finally arrived in the small town almost late, and my friend was not yet in his suit. We ended up stopping at a pub to change, but since it was before opening hours it was closed and he had to get changed in a little plastic kiddy tree-house. As you can imagine we arrived thoroughly rattled, I was physically shaking from fried nerves and we hadn’t eaten.

In the end I got offered a job. My friend was still hungover of course and didn’t.

Any more for any more? No need to be shy, you’re among friends here. Share with us by commenting here, that we might all learn from your mistakes laugh at your misfortune.

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EPISODE 105 – www.sanctimoniouspartybags.com

August 20, 2009

Salutations, listeners!

Today’s the start of Ramadan, so best of luck with that, Muslim listeners; we’d imagine a daylight fast would be considerably easier at a time of year when the days weren’t still so damn long, but maybe Answer Me This! Episode 105 will help take your mind off it:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Therein we talk upon the following matters:

lunch dates
Danelectro guitars
Greek GCSE (ancient, not modern)
sodium hydroxide
Noah’s ark
North Dublin
Dyson Ball
Helen’s granny’s anecdotes (granecdotes?)
evolution favouring Agatha Christie
Michael Palin
and
East Croydon.

Plus: had he not liked TV so much, Olly could have been a priest by now; Helen invites you all to take a turn in Martin the Sound Man’s beard; and Martin the Sound Man manages to analogise Girls Aloud to crisps, albeit unconvincingly.

Also, because we are Vampires feeding off the Misery and Failure of others, if you have managed to do a massive fuck-up in a job interview like Neal from Crawley, please tell us all about it by posting a comment below; and as ever, send us your QUESTIONS in the form of an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or a voice message via Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.

Oh and if you’re a fan of buying stuff, you might enjoy some of our new Merch from www.cafepress.com/answermethis. If you like looking at Martin the Sound Man’s face, you might covet one of these; or if you like sitting on our faces, how about this?

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

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