In Answer Me This! Episode 317, one questioneer is risking the beauty of his bottom for a bet; one appears to be too close to his sister; and another has an inferiority complex over his local multiplex (an inferiority multicomplex?). We also deal with:
Cornwall vs Greggs
Milton Keynes vs Merseyside
the Mercedes logo vs the peace symbol
Victoria, British Columbia
John Lahr’s remote working practices
dinner party gifts for the booze-free
unwanted text messages D-BOX seats, not to be confused with these d-box seats (link NSFW)
movie premiere attendees
Leningrad
bridegrooms
and
Matthew McConaughey’s norge.
There’s a double bill of childhood nostalgia-themed Bonus Bits of Crap on the App (available for iStuff, Android and Windows devices): Olly reminisces about another junior marketing exercise, and Helen about the Tunbridge Wells cinema now apparently known as a ‘grot spot’.
••• AMT317 Child-Friendly Rating: 62%. To be honest, we can’t remember the swear-situation in this episode, so we’ll be cautious and assume there are some. No bawdy-talk, though. •••
Plus: for Olly, giving is better than receiving (when it comes to picture messages); Helen does not belong on wheels; and Martin the Sound Man searches for logic in cartoon characters off adverts, which is really the wrong place to look.
All we want for Christmas are your QUESTIONS, so shove them into our stockings, by which we mean leave a message on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or send an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Also, forge the bounds of internet friendship at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly. Not LinkedIn, NEVER LinkedIn.
Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘answer’. That’s got to be better than anything you win in a cracker. (Except for the set of tiny screwdrivers or a bottle-opener shaped like an animal; both of these come in surprisingly useful. But, you know, the miniature pack of cards or tiny plastic comb or annoying puzzle made out of metal rings.)
The Best of AMT 2014 will be out next Thursday, 18th December. Return then!
Helen & Olly
••• AMT304 Child-Friendly Rating: 74%. Opens with further discussion of AMT303‘s cheese handjobs, but once the first couple of minutes are over, the rest of the episode’s topics are clean aside from two or three strong swears. •••
I can’t make head or tail of some of the following email from Emilie. Mostly because I am too old for some of the internets that the young people use, although going by the first sentence must be too old for the English grammar and syntax that the young people use as well:
On my instagram I put up a photo of what I changed one if my friends names on Snapchat.
[Can someone translate this for me, please?]
And in a couple of minutes a dude (a random one. Not one of my followers) said he will give me a shoutout. And I had to add him on Snapchat. So I did. And I sent him a Snapchat asking when he was going to shoutout.
He didn’t reply to my question but soon when it was morning where he was, he sent me a snapchat of his erect cock with the Snapchat like “morning dick”. I replied to him saying “what the fuck is your problem?”
The next day, he sent me another one saying “hey baby u up?” I replied with the same I did before.
A couple of hours passed again with another picture of his cock. I did not reply this time but told my younger brother, he then sent him snapchats saying things like “I’m going to rape you up the arse with a razor blade”.
The dude that is sending me these is under 18 so it’s illegal. Now thus brings me to my question, what are some fun ways to get back at him? But I only have one line.
Look, Emilie. You’ve left me no choice but to channel your grandmother and send you a Telegram of Truth:
FORGET ONE-LINE REVENGE ENTAILING HORRIBLE THREATS OF RAPE TO SOMEBODY YOU THINK IS UNDERAGE THOUGH LIKE MANY PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET IS QUITE POSSIBLY NOT ACTUALLY THE AGE YOU THINK HE IS AND JUST REMOVE THIS PERSON AS A CONTACT STOP FOR GOD’S SAKE CHILD WISE UP STOP WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK MOST PEOPLE USE SNAPCHAT FOR OTHER THAN COCKSHOTS AND WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT TO YOU TO RECEIVE A SHOUTOUT ON SNAPCHAT WHATEVER THAT IS STOP STOP SNAPCHATTING UNTIL YOU CAN BE TRUSTED TO SNAPCHAT AT WHICH POINT YOU PROBABLY WON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT SNAPCHAT ANY MORE STOP
That would be a really expensive telegram, but back in my day, when communications cost, people were far more judicious about how they used them.
Snapchat, indeed. Tsk. Now hand me my barley sugars.
Answer Me This! Podcast 