Posts Tagged ‘cockshots’

Snapchat, till you get sore

October 9, 2013

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I can’t make head or tail of some of the following email from Emilie. Mostly because I am too old for some of the internets that the young people use, although going by the first sentence must be too old for the English grammar and syntax that the young people use as well:

On my instagram I put up a photo of what I changed one if my friends names on Snapchat.

[Can someone translate this for me, please?]

And in a couple of minutes a dude (a random one. Not one of my followers) said he will give me a shoutout. And I had to add him on Snapchat. So I did. And I sent him a Snapchat asking when he was going to shoutout.

He didn’t reply to my question but soon when it was morning where he was, he sent me a snapchat of his erect cock with the Snapchat like “morning dick”. I replied to him saying “what the fuck is your problem?”

The next day, he sent me another one saying “hey baby u up?” I replied with the same I did before.

A couple of hours passed again with another picture of his cock. I did not reply this time but told my younger brother, he then sent him snapchats saying things like “I’m going to rape you up the arse with a razor blade”.

The dude that is sending me these is under 18 so it’s illegal. Now thus brings me to my question, what are some fun ways to get back at him? But I only have one line.

Look, Emilie. You’ve left me no choice but to channel your grandmother and send you a Telegram of Truth:

FORGET ONE-LINE REVENGE ENTAILING HORRIBLE THREATS OF RAPE TO SOMEBODY YOU THINK IS UNDERAGE THOUGH LIKE MANY PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET IS QUITE POSSIBLY NOT ACTUALLY THE AGE YOU THINK HE IS AND JUST REMOVE THIS PERSON AS A CONTACT STOP FOR GOD’S SAKE CHILD WISE UP STOP WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK MOST PEOPLE USE SNAPCHAT FOR OTHER THAN COCKSHOTS AND WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT TO YOU TO RECEIVE A SHOUTOUT ON SNAPCHAT WHATEVER THAT IS STOP STOP SNAPCHATTING UNTIL YOU CAN BE TRUSTED TO SNAPCHAT AT WHICH POINT YOU PROBABLY WON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT SNAPCHAT ANY MORE STOP

That would be a really expensive telegram, but back in my day, when communications cost, people were far more judicious about how they used them.

Snapchat, indeed. Tsk. Now hand me my barley sugars.

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