Hey, you! Yes, you – the man with the insecurity about your penis size! How would you like a new app that tells you how yours is the smallest wang in the world, and your ideal condom size is ‘Mouse Tail’? Well, colour yourself lucky – because today we tell you how to slim down your self-esteem by up to 100% in Answer Me This! Episode 244:
We also speak of:
carb crimes in Costco
gherkins
gurkhas
Bieber vs. Prince
Simon vs. Garfunkel
homemade peanut butter
dating disappointments
life disappointments
judgy mums
gushers
immigration officials
the green ink brigade
and
two thousand and late.
Plus: Olly wants to reclaim the red pen from censorious teachers and proofreaders; Helen makes good bread with her rough unfeminine hands; and Martin the Sound Man is all about the bell curve, laydeez.
Furthermore, if you’ve ever longed to hear Olly and Martin percussing their way through ‘The Boxer’ and ‘Born To Run’, you’re quids in! That is, you’re willing to expend two quids to get the AMTapp and thus this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android).
Finally! Please send us your QUESTIONS: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.
See you next Thursday,
Helen & Olly
PS For revision purposes, here’s that Bieber-wets-himself video for ‘Beauty and the Beat’:
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Tags: 1999, airports, Arrested Development, Art Garfunkel, Black Eyed Peas, Bridge Over Troubled Water, Bright Eyes, Busted, Cadbury's, careers, charity, chocolate, colours, confectionary, cookery, Cornwall, Costco, crime, cucumber, dates, dating, disappointment, discharge, etymology, female ejaculation, food, Frasier, fundraisers, fundraising, genitalia, genitals, Gherkin, gherkins, Globe theatre, Graceland, gurkhas, handwriting, Hear'Say, Heston Blumenthal, homemade, Hunting of the Snark, immigration, ink, Jar Jar Binks, Jewfro, Jingle All The Way, Joanna Lumley, josie long, Justin Bieber, ladyparts, law, Lemonheads, Lincoln, love, lyrics, marriage, mayonnaise, medieval, Midlands, Mike Batt, misheard lyrics, Mr Wendal, Mrs Robinson, Nepal, Nicki Minaj, nuts, opposite sex, orgasms, parents, parties, partying, passports, Paul Simon, peanut butter, peanuts, penis size, pens, Plantagenets, pop, potatoes, prayer, prince, Prince Harry, procreation, raffles, recipes, relationships, rum, Sada, Seattle, sex, Shard, shopping, shops, Simon and Garfunkel, single, songs, songwriting, soulmates, statistics, success, supermarket, tall buildings, the future, The Sound of Silence, Thorntons, time travel, Twinkies, USA, Usher, UV, validation, Watford, Wolverhampton, words, Year 3000
Answer Me This! Podcast 
February 1, 2013 at 3:03 pm |
Back in college I had a professor who told us about a student he had a few years back. Seems the girl had forgot her pen and needed to borrow on from the professor. All he had to spare was a red ink pen but she refused to use it because red was a symbol of communism.
February 1, 2013 at 7:29 am |
Sorry, Helen. I’m 38 and I still had to google the song “Mr. Wendel” by Arrested Development. Now I know it’s about a homeless man. 1992 was quite a while ago!
February 1, 2013 at 12:33 am |
Blue ink helpfully stands out from the black printer ink on forms.
Green ink has gained favor among teachers as a less severe way to correct students’ errors than red ink.
January 31, 2013 at 7:49 pm |
Two dollars means a snack for me, but it means a big deal to you.
Arrested Development
C’mon Martin! 😉
January 31, 2013 at 10:37 am |
I am going to draw UV nobs on my friends passports.