Archive for January, 2011

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love stinks

January 12, 2011

** Click here for Episode 161 **

It hasn’t been a happy New Year for all of TeamAMT, for instance poor old Anon:

I’ve just told the love of my life that I am happy being her friend, and that I’m OK with her dating another guy simply because I want her to be happy. It didn’t end like in the movies where she finds new feelings for me and I carry her off into the sunset for a good shagging; she’s in fact telling him that she would love to go out with him as I write this.

I’ve tried to take solace in my decision saying it was the nicest thing to do and that I’ll be able to look back on this and be proud, but right now that isn’t cheering me up. I started popping a load of bubble wrap to take my mind off it, but I’ve run out.

So answer me this: how can I make the soul-crushing pain go away and cheer myself up in the process?

Help a heartbroken chap out, readers: go to the comments and tell the man what to do when the bubble wrap runs out.

Katie also has problems in the romance department:

I may have done something truly terrible.

So Nick has been my best friend since we were 12, we’re both 20 now and 3 nights ago we had sex. It wasn’t horrifically awkward but it wasn’t the most incredible event of my life. We’ve pseudo-casually talked about it and made awkwardly amusing compliments about each other’s ‘prowess’ but I can’t help but worry that I’ve ruined everything.

I know that When Harry Met Sally dealt with this before I was born and that it probably wasn’t the best post-pub home for Christmas idea but what’s done is done and now I need someone to tell me that everything will be ok.

Everything will be ok. There, are you better now?

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Posted in extracurricular questions, User-generated answers | 1 Comment »

the notorious C.H.R.I.S.

January 12, 2011

** Click here for Episode 161 **

I don’t really understand why the following is a matter of urgency – or even a question at all – but it is causing Chris from Cardiff, Australia some concern, so let’s have it:

To be considered to have your name in the newspaper, does your name actually have to be mentioned in an article, or is it sufficient to be captioned in a picture?

Oh don’t worry, Chris – if there’s a picture of your mugshot captioned ‘Chris from Cardiff: awaiting trial for murder’, it definitely counts! So your mum can go out and buy ten copies to show all her friends.

Anyway, the matter I’m more interested in is the times you people have had your names/captioned pictures in the newspaper. Tell me in the comments, please! I wish at this point I could post the picture of me which appeared in the Tunbridge Wells Courier when my guinea pig came first in the Langton Green pet show, but unfortunately I think mother burnt my junior media archive scrapbook.

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Posted in extracurricular questions | 8 Comments »

“Oh say can you see/ By the dawnzer lee light”

January 12, 2011

** Click here for Episode 161 **

Here is a question from a questioneer who does not identify him/herself, perhaps because of their shame over their following revelation:

What word or phrase did you totally misunderstand as a child (or embarrassingly far into adulthood…)?

I always wondered what ‘Roman board’ was…

…later I realized it was ‘room and board’.

Also, I just got to tell my flatmate that ‘for all intensive purposes’ is actually ‘for all intents and purposes’ – he’s 23…

23! My eldest brother earned the nickname ‘Fernie Splodgings’ thanks to his misapprehension of the term ‘Furnished Lodgings’, but he was only three at the time. Share your own long-held mondegreens in the comments and we can all have a jolly good laugh at you.

PS Slightly off-topic, but since we’re in the slips-of-the-tongue ballpark…

Yup, still funny.

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Posted in extracurricular questions, User-generated answers | 14 Comments »

EPISODE 161 – A Question of Soup

January 6, 2011

Hello!

Today, 6th January, is of course Epiphany, the day on which the Three Wise Men called round to see the baby Jesus. It is also the day that the Three Unwise Men’n’Women unleashed Answer Me This! Episode 161, which is only slightly less suitable a baby-gift than a jarful of myrrh.


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In this first podcast of the new year, we contemplate:

soup-straws
American military acronyms
In Bruges
Waterfit
water-avoiding
‘Gay Bar’ by Electric Six
muscular veiny crotches
Winnie-the-Pooh
Paul Merton
the Pet Shop Boys vs. Half-Life 2
children’s stories vs. beat poets
the best Christmas films ever – see what Team AMT opted for here
the least bad bits of Love Actually (that was quick)
and
Slash’s unusual tureen.

Plus: Olly vows to kick off his New Year’s fitness drive – motivated partly by vanity and health, but more by recouping wasted gym money; Helen anticipates the timely death of the Zaltzman family dog; and virus-laden Martin the Sound Man grits his teeth and tries to survive the episode without exploding with a big gush of gutwater. Cheer up the poor man by listening to some of his music here.

Today’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iPhone and Android, app-fans) is all about Frank Bruno’s penis. Clue: it’s a whopper.

Can you believe we have now entered the FIFTH year of Answer Me This!? It would have been zero years had it not been for your QUESTIONS, so please keep supplying them: leave voicemails on the Question Line 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next week!

Helen & Olly

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Posted in PODCASTS | 5 Comments »

Coming soon: AMT161

January 6, 2011

Hello dears! We said we’d back with a new episode on January 6th 2011, and we will be, we promise – it’ll just be coming out a few hours later than usual, because that bloody Martin the Sound Man has messed up our recording schedule by selfishly and maliciously suffering from some vile gastric bug.

So please don’t get all hot and bothered and start sending us messages alternately abusing us then begging for a fresh hit. The episode will be right here a little later. If you’re struggling to cope, stare at the following for a few hours.

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Posted in News | 2 Comments »

custard cream chunder cocktail

January 5, 2011

** Click here for the Best of AMT2010 Part 2 **

This is a peculiarly specific question from Yasmine:

Have you ever dunked a Custard Cream in Coke then Philadelphia Light? If so is it nice??

A) No.
B) Despite my answer to question A, no.

You may tell me if I’m wrong in the comments, but I am, of course, not.

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Posted in extracurricular questions | Leave a Comment »

Last minute reprieve for the BT family

January 5, 2011

** Click here for the Best of AMT2010 Part 2 **

Here’s a Showbiz Inside Scoop from Emma:

In a desperate attempt to make stats revision bearable I’ve been listening to old Answer Me This! episodes. In episode 148 Olly suggested they should kill one of the BT family off.

Olly, I want you to know you’re not far away from the thinking of the advertisers. My dad works for BT and on ‘take your daughter to work day’ I ended up in an advertising meeting with the company who make the adverts. They also wanted to ‘add drama’ to the ads with ideas like Adam leaving Jane or one of the kids becoming ill or running away. So well done Olly!

However, those who do like the family need not worry as the BT people seem to think this was a bad direction for some reason. Indeed, when I mentioned Olly’s idea to my father who just looked at me like I was mental and told me not to go into advertising.

However if BT do produce a campaign involving terminal illness I would suggest that Olly immediately write to BT suggesting he gets royalties or something like that.

It’d be hardly worth his while, seeing as he’d be splitting his royalties with all of the millions of people who’ve watched those adverts over the years and willed the characters to die horribly and painfully.

Incidentally, in the inconceivable event that you like the BT family – so much that you have actually written some fanfic about their interminable domestic life – then please, please share it with us in the comments. You sicko.

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Posted in Answer Us Back! Your time to opine, inside scoop | Leave a Comment »

I love you, Stinky

January 3, 2011

** Click here for the Best of AMT2010 Part 2 **

The course of true love never runs smooth, nor scentlessly if you happen to be Mr Anonymous of Anonymoustown, Anonymousshire, who says:

I have started seeing a delightful young lady, and all is going well. Except for one thing: I can’t really stand the smell of her perfume. Every time I see her, the floral scent hits me and hangs around for ages until I can convince my nose to get used to it. So what am I to do? Is there some kind of way I can get her to stop smelling like that, or am I doomed for the rest of the relationship?

You could buy her a new bottle of perfume, but let’s be frank here: most of them smell just as awful. You could effect an allergy which only goes away when she eliminates various of her beauty products. Or you could puke loudly whenever she spritzes on the infernal potion. That should get the message through, although the relationship may not survive.

Readers, speed forth to the comments to dish out your own advice upon this disagreeable olfactory problem.

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Posted in extracurricular questions, User-generated answers | 4 Comments »

Vordermilf

January 3, 2011

** Click here for the Best of AMT2010 Part 2 **

Hooray! James from Salisbury has found love, or something akin to it, in the least likely of circumstances:

During Christmas, the family and I were watching the Christmas special of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? and I noticed that Maths and IQ legend Carol Vorderman was one of the contestants.

To cut to the chase, I now have a slightly weird crush on Carol Vorderman. It sounds stupid to my friends, but I would probably dick her, given the chance.

So, answer me this – During your lives, have you ever had a strange crush on someone?

Of course. We’re only human! As are you, readers – so go to the comments and reveal the celebs who give you shame-boners.

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Posted in extracurricular questions, User-generated answers | 38 Comments »

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