September 20, 2011
The infernal 90s revival is gathering pace, judging by the number of questions about Friends we’ve been getting. Yes, here’s another! It’s from Conor from Ireland, who I predict will write in next week to find out whether Elastica’s second album will be worth the wait and if Monica Lewinsky is lying. He says:
How many children would Joey from Friends statistically be likely to have, bearing in mind that condoms only work like 97% of the time?
Also bearing in mind that Joey and his assorted sexual partners might not be 100% mindful of contraception. But, on the other hand, his boxy 90s jeans may have inhibited his sperm production so he’s firing LeBlanks.
I’d estimate Joey’s average procreation rate to be halfway between Lil Wayne and Mick Jagger, at maybe one child per every 4-7 years of sexual activity. However, given how hard up they were for plot over the years, I’m sure that had Joey produced any children, they would have been dredged up for at least one two-episode arc. So I think we must assume that he did not. Remember too that Joey is subtly portrayed as Reeeeally Stoopid, so his much-boasted sexual encounters might merely involve him dry-humping the windowsill then falling asleep sucking his thumb whilst the ladies watch and take notes for the biannual reviews of his community care order.
Furthermore, recent research* suggests that Joey’s promiscuity is less great than one imagines. Take a look! There’s a table and everything.
* Of the MEGA-NERDY variety! Gosh, even I expend my spare time more productively. And I once made a fully inflatable giant Boggle set.
Tags:Friends, Matt LeBlanc, telly
Posted in extracurricular questions | 3 Comments »
June 23, 2011
To all our listeners in the Northern Hemisphere: hope you enjoyed the summer solstice! Only 185 sleeps to go until Christmas! Wooooo!
Southern Hemispherical listeners: happy mid-winter’s day! Now roll on summer! Woo woooo!
Equatorial listeners: as you were.
One thing that is the same the world over is Answer Me This! Episode 180:
This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
In it, we speak of such things as:
Gunther from Friends
seaside rock
the Wailing Wall
chocolate mousse
Claridge’s tea
mango lassi
Face/Off
disappointing fudge
hypnotherapy vs. stage hypnosis
British postboxes vs. French postboxes
Lady Godiva vs. Ed Balls
and
wanking in the Ritz.
Plus: Olly is made of stronger stuff than Carrie Bradshaw; Helen was hypnotised for love; and Martin the Sound Man admits to a few awkward moments in his honeymoon. He likes to live life like an Ashton Kutcher film, he does. Accordingly, before any and every decision, Mr Kutcher thinks, “What would Martin the Sound Man Do [WWMTSMD]?” And Demi Moore sighs, and thinks that if only she’d stayed with Bruce Willis, she wouldn’t ever have to talk about sound cards over breakfast.
This week, we’re popping up on a couple of other podcasts: Pappy’s Flatshare Slamdown, the new comedy quiz show from the AMT37 alumni; and Radio 4Xtra’s What’s So Funny?, wherein we talk in a not-so-funny way about podcasting.
Despite flirting with other podcasts, AMT will always be our (audio)boo, so keep the love alive by sending your QUESTIONS – leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com – that we may magically create next week’s episode with them.
Helen & Olly
Tags:007, 1990s, 90s, archaeology, awkward, Bond villains, booze, British film, Chandler, commemorative t-shirts, confectionery, corpses, Courteney Cox, crap presents, cunty friends, dead bodies, death, dirt, Draveil, DVD hacks, DVD players, East Sussex, eating alone, electronics, etiquette, exhumation, films, food, France, French, Friends, Friends reunion, grave-robbery, Helen Baxendale, hospital, Hove, hygiene, hypnosis, hypnotherapy, illegal activities, Israel, James Bond, Jerusalem, Joey, John Travolta, John Woo, knickers, Lady Godiva, laundry, legend, lingerie, Lisa Kudrow, loners, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry, medicine, movies, myth, Nicolas Cage, nudity, Oliver!, operations, ouch, Paris, perversion, petty crime, Phoebe, Pizza Hut, post, postbox, presents, restaurants, Sarah Jessica Parker, SATC, seaside, Sex and the City, shame, stage hypnosis, sugar, sweet vs savoury, t-shirts, technology, telly, theft, This Life, throats, tonsillitis, tonsils, towels, trances, twin towns, underwear
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