Posts Tagged ‘celebripiss’

celebripiss 3

November 27, 2013

CLICK HERE FOR AMT279

The stream of your celebripiss stories has not yet run dry. Here’s a starry one from Courtney from Dublin:

Was at the premiere of Gangs of New York a few years ago and was at the urinals with Leonardo DiCaprio. Most famous person I’ve peed next to. Fairly important to the story that I point out I am in fact a man with the name Courtney and not a crazy lady in the gents.

Pete has raised the stakes to celebripoop:

A few years ago, a friend of mine got us backstage, access all areas passes to the Download Festival. We had access literally everywhere – backstage, artist green rooms, even managed to see some bands sets from the side of the stage. One advantage to this was the ability to use the artists’ toilets and shower facilities backstage.

We had just watched Faith No More on the main stage and headed back for a few beers. The day’s festivities had caught up with me, and by this time I needed the loo. A diet consisting entirely of alcohol and no actual soild food is always going to have a certain effect, and it was with some trepidation that I approached the toilets.

Upon entering the loos, I sensed that this was going to be a sit down visit rather than a stand up, so duly sat down and let armaggeddon commence. Upon finishing, I flushed and exited, but left behind an aroma that satan himself would be proud of. As I left, I held the door for someone who was approaching, only to notice that it was Marilyn Manson. My good nature took hold, and I felt some kind of warning was in order.

“I’d give that ten minutes if I were you” I offered helpfully. Mr Manson just looked at me and casually nodded, and entered the cubicle area, whereupon I heard a distinct muttering of “fucking hell” followed by a clear retching sound. Result!

As we noted in AMT278, a double celebripiss is quite a feat; Dave here certainly found it too much to bear:

I relieved myself next to Dirty Den from Eastenders. Turns out he was doing the panto and staying in the hotel I was in for my school formal.

I didn’t notice who it was at first when I pulled up beside him until our heads turned and we both gave a nod of acknowledgement to one another. I got stage fright and couldn’t go, though thankfully he quickly finished and left.

Thinking I was now free to do my business with out the pressure of a famous face stood within splashing distance, I set about focusing myself on the job at hand, when who should drunkenly burst through the door and stagger up beside me, none other than ex-Westlife singer Brian McFadden. He was a twat. He swayed about and I’m sure he pissed on himself. I left him to it and went back out with a bladder still half full of wee.

Later that night Brian came into our disco and took over the DJing! He was shite. All the girls flocked over to him asking for pictures and autographs and he responded by hocking up a greener and spitting it at them. He was removed/escorted out by the bouncers soon after.

In Brian McFadden’s defence, Westlifers are only happy when sitting on high stools. They should have fitted an extra-high urinal for his needs.

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EPISODE 278 – you can’t look anywhere without seeing a celebrity wang

November 14, 2013

Apologies for our absence last week; normal service resumes today with Answer Me This! Episode 278:

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

In which we discuss:

pissing with Clint Eastwood
Annie Hall
Action Man
Kinder Eggs vs the law
ginger ale vs ginger beer
romcoms vs heartbreak
fake tan
sexy scars
GI Joe’s thumb
the golden era of Richard Curtis
and
Peter Stringfellow’s Marmitey penis.

Today’s episode was sponsored by squarespace.com, who are not only offering you 10% off their wonderful website-building services if you use the code Answer11, but also the chance to win a free YEAR of the service if you send us a link to your Squarespacetacular website – if tweeting said link, deploy the hashtag #AMTsquarespace.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices, Android and Windows) we wonder whether Peter Stringfellow is a nice (string)fellow. If you can confirm or deny, do let us know.

And, more importantly, do send us your QUESTIONS: leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

If like this week’s questioneer Maz you want to salve your broken heart with unlimited streaming of films and TV, get yourself a month’s free LoveFilm trial at answermethispodcast.com/LoveFilm. You can also block out some white noise by listening to Helen’s other podcast Sound Women, available here.

Our final demand: join us next Thursday, please,

Helen & Olly

AMT278 Child-Friendly Rating: 88%. Celebripissing chat and mention of Peter Stringfellow’s stringfellow, but low swearage and kid-appropriate topics such as Action Man, Kinder Surprise and soft drinks.

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further adventures in celebripissing

November 14, 2013

CLICK HERE FOR AMT277

Your wonderful tales of Piddling With The Stars are still trickling in; here’s one from Leon in Aberdeen:

I pissed next to Johnny Vegas backstage at ITV; he was recording QI there, I was a contestant on Tipping Point. Was going to ask for a photo, thought better of it.

I also got changed next door to Stephen Fry that day! 😮

Best day ever.

Here’s another comedian-heavy celebripiss from Jon:

I hit the men’s room after seeing The Dirty Projectors at Lincoln Center a few years ago. There were three urinals; the outside two of which were occupied by Jason Sudekis and Andy Sandburg from Saturday Night Live, chatting. I panicked for a second, then thought better and used the toilet stall.

Entrepreneurial celebripisser Phil writes:

I once stood next to Richard Branson at a urinal in a medium posh London hotel. It was some kind of Industry awards evening. I think I tried to engage him in some meta-chat about how he must have random people chatting to him all the time, he was chatty enough but finished up quickly and headed off. I do not recall seeing his cock.

And here’s a political celebripiss from Chris from Crystal Palace

I was once at a charity conference and went to the toilet, only to have the then Home Secretary David Blunkett hand me his guide dog while I was urinating. I think he confused me for his aide.

Are you dextrous enough, Chris, to control the dog and your urination at the same time? If not, this could have ended rather badly. And smellily.

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celebripees roundup

November 7, 2013

lmhope

CLICK HERE FOR AMT277

Since AMT277, your tales of celebripees have been, er, flooding in. Here are some you’ve shared over Twitter and here are some more. Dan from Melbourne writes:

I was in a cafe in Wellington, New Zealand where I went to the toilet and Billy Connolly was in there at the basin washing his hands. I said “Hi, I’m a big fan.” Billy then made a joke about the chair he had broken minutes before.

Jack has also pissed in the vicinity of a comedian:

I urinated next to Norman Lovett after he did a gig at our SU once. I texted my friend to tell him so. Mad props.

Phil from London managed a comedian/pop star double celebripiss:

A couple of years ago I was working in the O2 arena in London, in the private boxes doing bar work.
In a break I went to the toilet, and found myself having a piss between Michael McIntyre and the short one out of JLS.
I had been serving them throughout the evening, and talked to them a bit, but as the rules of the mens toilets go, no conversation happened urinal to urinal.

Oscar from Swansea has also effected a musical celebriwee:

In 2003 I was working on the second and third stages of the Guildford music festival Guilfest with a group of university crew who assisted there every year.

On the last night of the festival we usually got invited backstage of the main stage to help drink the leftover riders.

That year I was sporting a broken wrist and I bumped into Alice Cooper at the backstage portacabin type urinals. He commented on my cast and asked how I got it, as one of his roadies had a similar injury.

We chatted for a bit longer outside the toilets before we got on with our evenings. Thoroughly nice bloke – a lot more down to earth than some of the acts a fraction as famous.

Steve from Pennsylvania, however, illustrates the downside of a lavatorial encounter with a musical icon:

A number of years ago, I went to see one of my favorite bands, Nothington, at a local, rather run-down bar. I figured I’d go to the bathroom a few before the band came on, and barged right in.

Unfortunately, it was a one-person toilet facility. There in all of his glory, was the leader singer going No. 2, on full display. I apologized, and made a quick exit. However, I could not fully enjoy the show, as I could only picture the singer during the show sitting on the toilet.

And now a celebripiddle with a touch of Hollywood glamour, from Jason:

At the Jefferson Hotel in Richmond VA sometime in late 2000, I went the the bathroom and found myself taking a whizz with Anthony Hopkins. He was in town filming Hannibal with Julianne Moore, who I sadly did not meet in the bathroom, or anywhere else.

I saw him later in the restaurant of the same hotel but did not speak to him either time as I assume he must get sick of being recognized all the time.

However a friend of mine did get to speak to him as the Jefferson had a deal with the YMCA across the street that allowed guests to use the gym there. After his work out Hopkins left and my friend noticed he was still carrying the Y towel he had been given. Anyway my friend who was working the front desk at the Y let him leave and walk halfway down the block just so he could run after him and point out his mistake. He was very gracious and apologetic.

And finally, a Dame Jud-wee from Ellie from Glasgow:

During a short stop on a long drive from glasgow to the north of Scotland I peed in a public toilet next to Dame Judi Dench. I was not aware it was her until we both went to the sink and I looked in the mirror to fix my hair and saw her. I just smiled, walked out and told my mum waiting outside who proceeded to shout at the top of her lungs “OMG really!” then shouted across the car park to my dad that I had a pee next to Judi Dench!

Rules of celebripiss etiquette: play it cool. That includes you, MUM.

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