Rumbled!

April 19, 2009 by

** Click here for EPISODE 91 **

Uh oh, we’ve been Found Out! Reena from Gran Canaria but living in Salford clocked that most of the time we know dick-all about diddly, so has kindly stepped in to shed light upon Laurence from York’s question in Episode 90 about ringing ears:

As an Acoustics student, I knew you guys didn’t know the answer for this question. Martin was close, but not enough…

The noise in the ear is called tinnitus and the effect the guy was describing is called temporary threshold shift.

What happens is that the ear changes its threshold of hearing to protect itself, so it needs more energy to arrive to the timpanic membrane in order to hear. When you conditions change the ear needs some time to recover…and sometimes it doesn’t recover at all. The effects are additive and that’s why DJs are deaf when they’re old.

That, and the cumulative effect of playing so-called Dance Anthems for their working lives.

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The Sound of the Ladies Lounge 2: Revenge of the Lounge

April 18, 2009 by

** Click here for EPISODE 91 **

We know how much you people love a bit of Martin the Sound Man. This month you can have a bit more of him than usual: either by fishing his beard clippings out of the bin, or by watching the latest episode of his Sound of the Ladies Lounge, featuring the Sound of the Ladies song ‘D.E.A.D.’ and Superman Revenge Squad singing ‘Idiot Food’:

Check out Martin the Sound(oftheLadies)man’s website www.thesoundoftheladies.com for more musical wonders!

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EPISODE 91 – what child likes winegums?

April 16, 2009 by

Hello dears,

We’ve been having a bit of a spruce-up around here, and have added a load of new games and jigsaws to our Timewasting page. So get over there and waste some time! That which you have not already squandered on Answer Me This! Episode 91:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Up for discussion this week are:

Gloria Hunniford
Latin turnips
Sweeney Todd
Vidal Sassoon
Church’s Shoes
Disney’s Californian Adventure vs. Seaworld
Humpty Dumpty on your face
Harry Tate
Pink
the hormones of 15-year-olds
and
Matthew Crosby’s testicles.

Plus: Olly explains his sinister methods for succeeding at Jenga; Helen reveals the kind of giddy fun that made her childhood parties the talk of Tunbridge Wells; and Martin the Sound Man tells soap operas to buzz off. Or similar. And if you’ve got something you want Martin to slag off, or just a QUESTION for us, get in touch: call us on 0208 123 5877, Skype us at answermethis, email us at answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or send your carrier pigeons to Crystal Palace and pray they can sniff us out.

We also hope you enjoy this week’s new jingle by Wilbur Sargunaraj; if so, amusing treats await you at his website www.wilbur.asia, and you may also be tickled by his Blog Song:

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

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Wave goodbye to productivity

April 14, 2009 by

** Click here for EPISODE 90 **

In the hopes that one day we will be canonised for our services to procrastination and life-frittering, we have added ALL-NEW jigsaws to our Timewasting page. And not only that – we’ve also customised some classic arcade games and slapped them on there too! Don’t blame us when your boss demotes you for playing Martin-faced Pacman for eight hours…

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Olympic hopefuls

April 14, 2009 by

** Click here for EPISODE 90 **

Over on the Answer Me This! Facebook Fanclub forums, the enterprising Joe from Newnham has declared he has started up a new Facebook group to persuade the BBC to employ the AMT!P team to present the 2012 Olympics.

As you know, we know dick-all about sport. We care almost that much too. But come on, sports-fans and non-fans – you know this would be so wrong, and yet so right… Imagine what a glorious time we might have dissecting the day’s synchronised diving events and the 100-yard dash! So dammit, CLICK HERE to join the group! Sign the petition! Let’s make this happen!

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balls

April 14, 2009 by

After our allusion in Episode 90 to an addictive but seemingly pointless Japanese ball-bearing-based arcade game, several of you have been in touch to enlighten us about its mechanics and objectives. Firstly, a simple synopsis from Mike from Coventry:

Buy ball bearings
win ball bearings
weigh ball bearings
get pointless gift based on the weight of won ball bearings
go to pawn shop owned and normally next door to gambling place who exchange pointless gift for money.
It’s all something to do with gambling laws in Japan.

Keza from Nagoya elaborates:

I might be able to go some small way towards explaining the madness, as I’ve been living in Japan for a year or so and am exposed daily to this sort of nonsense. It’s called Pachinko, and it’s massive. They have department-store sized floors of pachinko in even tiny towns, full of Japanese salarymen pouring endless ball-bearings into endless rows of incessant noise-making machines.

Anyway, the reason that you an only win ball-bearings is that gambling for money is illegal in Japan. You can, though, exchange a few thousand ball-bearings for disproportionately small plastic objects and teddy bears in some parlours. The trick is that there is usually a small, distinct shop in close proximity to the pachinko parlour that just happens to buy said items for extremely large sums of money. Aha!

Mostly, though, people genuinely just seem to be playing to earn more ball bearings and be able to play for longer.

We read that pachinko addiction is a growing problem in Japan, although apparently not for Leo from West Sussex:

I recently came back from a week in Japan in February and I went to one of those very places you were just talking about! It’s absolutely insane, there are row upon row of these really boring pachinko machines which are sometimes inanely themed with hideously manga-fied Star Wars characters! After the working hours are finished they are packed with really bored-looking people poking buttons. We had a go at them, and I lost miserably, or at least I think I did, my Japanese is shit.

Pah! It sounds like my grandparents’ home-made bagatelle board, only with added manga. We’d rather stay in with a lovely jigsaw

*UPDATE*: Kevin in Osaka adds:

There is one minor point that your authoritative source got wrong though – that when you’ve finished your session, you exchange all you accumulated metal balls for cash, or for sweets if you were not so successful. One of my former students at Kyoto University figured out the machines so well that he used to do pachinko instead of a part-time job, and made enough to support himself with a regular Saturday session.

Man cannot live on sweets alone, surely?

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Supercool

April 14, 2009 by

** Click here for EPISODE 90 **

We’ve enjoyed some splendid cartoonage from Luke from Cambridge before, and this week he has turned his talents to matters Educational and Scientific:

In response to Laurence from York’s question regarding things being “ice cold”, I must take a slightly tangential and pedantic point that it is possible to water to be liquid at temperatures far below zero due to a phenomenon called “supercooling” (www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supercooling).
To illustrate this I have composed the following cartoon.

supercooling

Click on it for a bigger version, and visit www.lukesurl.com for more of Luke’s ace cartooning.

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Excuse me, I think there’s something on your…never mind

April 14, 2009 by

** Click here for EPISODE 90 **

After the discussion in Episode 90 of how to tell people they have managed to get muck upon themselves, Jim in New Jersey supplies this delightful example:

An employee at a music shop I worked in years ago called to say he would be arriving a little late one morning, as he had had an accident while attempting to dispose of a bag of used cat litter. About an hour later, he shows up in a huff, and gets down to work. I don’t know who among the staff saw it first, but we suddenly realized that one of us was going to have to tell this guy that…he had a cat turd in his hair. Really. And he had taken the subway all the way downtown in such a state. I think you’ll agree that this is a step beyond awkward.

Indeed. What is the most tactful way to tell someone they have shit on their head? Assuming he wasn’t sporting the latest in scat-hat fashions:

shithead

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This is the news

April 14, 2009 by

Hmm, what’s in the papers today? Phil Spector… Princess Eugenie drinking ketchup… and oh look, US! For the lovely London Paper have printed an interview with Team AMT!P. CLICK HERE to read it.

*** Still haven’t watched our new Top 10 Photoshops video? Muggins! Click here to see it, right now. There, that’s better ***

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EPISODE 90 – a burgeoning turtle

April 9, 2009 by

Hello dear listeners,

The excitements of this week notwithstanding, we have hauled ourselves out of our champagne baths to bring you Answer Me This! Episode 90:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Therein we speak of:

‘When I’m 64’
Jonathan Cainer
Brian Dowling
Humdingers
schoolgirls in the shower
pachinko
free envelopes
the Junior RSPB
lucky trees
Nectar cards
Ryanair
and
Slash.

Plus, Olly unearths his earliest showreel; Martin the Sound Man shows off some knowledge about the inner ear; and Helen forgot to mention the spaghetti bolognese pizza she did NOT order in one particularly depraved Italian restaurant (if you can call it ‘Italian’, rather than ‘VERY VERY WRONG’), but if you have consumed a similarly sucktacular pizzas, please tell us about it in a comment below.

Thanks very much for all your suggestions for questions Michael from Hertfordshire can ask his girlfriend; see if you’ve got any to add to Anastazia’s comprehensive list. And of course, our own appetite for your QUESTIONS is always voracious; send them in to Skype ID answermethis, our Question Line 0208 123 5877, or answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Please also take yourself to our Challenge page to discover the winner of our Photoshop Challenge!

See you next week,

Helen and Olly

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the secrets of the Build A Bear workshop

April 8, 2009 by

** Click here for Episode 89 **

evilteddybear

Following her missive in Episode 89, Kat from Edinburgh has lifted the lid on Build a Bear. Prepare yourself for Shock! Scandal! Bears filled with drugs! Teddies with nine limbs! Or:

To answer your questions about Build a Bear, it’s only in America that you can actually get messages sewn onto them. If people change their mind, we take the bears into surgery, cut the thread at the back then take the stuffing out to put back into other bears. We then can re-stitch it and sell it again. You can record voice messages to put in them but there’s a button to delete them. You could most certainly put AMT messages into them. You would have to take a recording to the shop and play it into the Build a Sound which would then be put in the bear. Not sure if the quality would be that great though. And we personally don’t kiss the hearts. That would just be sad. The customer does it. If you are feeling mean you can get them to rub it on your tummy so it never gets hungry, rub it on your heart so it has lots of love, rub it on your head so its clever etc etc. The kids love it! As for the Uranium, I most definitely do not earn enough to buy any and I don’t think it would go down too well with the boss!

Huh. It sounds quite cute and civilised actually. Dammit.

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Births, Deaths, but no marriages

April 8, 2009 by

** Click here for Episode 89 **

A few announcements:

Firstly, happy birthday to Jon from Bath, who turned 14 yesterday! Well done, sir.

But let’s turn to sadder news. A few months ago Celeste from France named her guppy fish after Martin the Sound Man. Joy abounded in Martin’s dainty heart. But this week Celeste emailed again, with tidings that he may find devastating:

I’m afraid I have bad news, Martin has Disappeared! The poor fish has gone missing with his auntie, I fear the red-tailed shark malso in the aquarium may have eaten them. 😦

so my question is more of a request: may we take a small moment of respect for poor Martin and his auntie? RIP.

Readers, light a candle and remember Martin the guppy. Remember his auntie. Remember Olly the late guinea pig. Wow, pets named after the AMT!P team really don’t seem to have a good record for staying alive very long…

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