Answer Me This! Podcast

Back in Episode 54, listener Michele asked: ‘Why are cookies called Biscuits in Europe? To us, biscuits are something that come with overly fried food at KFC, not a sweet dessert best dunked in coffee. And if you call cookies “biscuits”, what name do you use for the soft flaky bread we Yanks call biscuits?’

The Answer Me This! team get approximately 60% of their energy from biscuits, so were greedily qualified to explain that ‘biscuit’ derives from the Latin for ‘twice-cooked’ and that said ‘soft flaky bread’ would be pretty much the same as what is known in Britain as a scone (although such an item would never be seen in a British KFC, unless a careless old lady had accidentally knocked her cake-stand into the deep fat fryer).

But a question remained: why do Americans call cookies ‘cookies’? Enter David from Canada, a man used to this biscuit/cookie confusion because ‘as a Canadian, we have to deal with both terms’:

It’s because New York used to be New Amsterdam. New Amsterdam was settled by the Dutch, and because New York was so important to the development of the American lexicon, Dutch words were already being used for a lot of everyday items by the time the British took over. Cookie derives from the Dutch word “koekje”, which means a small cake.

As for the American biscuit, you’re right. It’s essentially a bland, sometimes heavy, scone. Often used to sop up gravy. Here in Canada, we call them tea biscuits.

‘Tea biscuits’?? That’s opening up a whole new world of befuddlement! If that’s the name you give them, what do you call the rich tea biscuit, which, confusingly, is far less rich than the Canadian tea biscuit, and completely hopeless when introduced to gravy? I call the rich tea biscuit a tedious waste of snack-time, but I doubt that title has spread across the Atlantic.

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Regarding Phil’s question about the letter ‘x’ denoting kisses in Episode 56, we have received an intriguing new theory on the matter from the lovely Louise:

The letter ‘x’ when said phonetically sounds a bit like this –

“kiss”

Hmm – certainly doesn’t seem too far-fetched, Louise. But as the origins of ‘x’ as symbol of affection remain undecided, have any of the rest of you got plausible theories for it? Let us know, and through teamwork this mystery can be vanquished.

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** Answer Me This! is back from holiday on 15th May; meanwhile click here to browse the back catalogue **

So that knackered end-of-term feeling was running high in Episode 53. Mouth was already waiting out in the car park while Brain was still packing up its gym-kit. And that, dear listeners, is how mistakes get made.

But luckily, and not for the first time, the ever-assiduous Nick has been in touch to correct my error regarding Paul in Southend‘s question about adding salt to cooking water. Says Nick:

Putting salt in water raises, not lowers, the boiling point; the idea, of course, is that the water can be hotter, and thus cook your food (presumably rice or pasta) a bit quicker. And a bit saltier. Surprised Martin “Mr Scientist” didn’t pick you up on that one.

Yeah, Martin! Did you buy your doctorate off the internet? Pshaw!

Anyway, apologies for that, and thanks Nick. However the crux of my point remains true, that in order for salt to make a larger-than-infinitesimal difference to your cookery times, you would have to add so much of it that your alphabetti would be completely inedible. Not to mention that it would turn your supper into one of the greatest predators known to man! SALT KILLS, people!

Not this Salt, mind. She is, to our knowledge, perfectly innocent.

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** Click here to listen to EPISODE 51 **

We’ve had some delightful feedback regarding Episode 50, firstly from Dr Ruth:

After hearing of Jonathon Roberts’ lamentable predisposition to eating his hair gel, I felt compelled to reply with my own version of this affliction. I work in a lab, and we use agar gel for growing bacterial colonies. I LOVE the smell of agar gel (a sort of malty aroma), although others find it repulsive. I did once try some, and although it was really quite revolting to taste, I still find myself wanting to eat it whenever I smell the damned stuff, even though I now know that it would not satisfy my taste buds!

Don’t be frightened, kids – Dr Ruth’s not snacking on some mysterious ectoplasm. Agar is a derivative of seaweed, and is used instead of gelatine in various foodstuffs, so is quite edible and non-toxic. But it’s also a laxative, so watch out, Dr Ruth!

On another Episode 50-related matter, Flash from Dublin writes:

When I heard you talk about funny places to fall asleep I just had to share mine. I was at a music festival in Japan and at some point between Primal scream and New Order my friends found me asleep on a low branch of a tree. No Idea what Happened as I usually don’t even like going uphill, never mind the effort of tree climbing!

Gosh, the amazing adventures of the somnolent Flash! However I suspect that you were trying to escape the sound of Primal Scream by stuffing your ears with bark. Even when asleep, humans’ instincts for self-preservation are remarkable.

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** Click here to listen to EPISODE 50 **

Following Episode 50 and questioneer Oli asking, “If Nintendo is a Japanese company then why is its star character (Mario) supposed to be Italian?”, several of you have written in to offer solutions to this mystery.

Luke from Birmingham suggests: “I believe that they made him Italian to match his look (hat and ‘tache). The reason they gave him the hat and the moustache was because they were easier to animate than hair and a mouth back in those days.”

Sounds plausible enough. But what of this hypothesis from JC of japanmanship.blogspot.com: “The story, which may be apocryphal, is that when Mr. Arakawa was setting up Nintendo of America they had this warehouse and when the time came to give Jumpman from Donkey Kong a name they were being hassled by their landlord, an Italian American named Mario. The plumbing angle is a mystery though.”

Hmm. The plot thickens… So let’s add a real-life Italian’s opinion to the mix, courtesy of Rachele from Naples: “I always assumed Mario and Luigi were Italian-American rather than just Italian. I don’t know why, but that’s the vibe I got…also surely the stereotypical plumber nowadays is Polish?”

Well, now we don’t know what to believe! So let’s divert ourselves with an answer to the unanswered question from Episode 49, “Why do they sterilise the needles for lethal injections?” Take it away, Billy from Featherstone:

“The answer is that sterilising the needles makes sure that the person administering the injection doesn’t catch anything if they were to accidentally catch themselves.”

Thanks, Billy from Featherstone! It’s always a pleasure when you lot do our work for us… Also regarding Episode 49, a number of you have written in voicing your anguish at being denied Martin the Sound Man‘s response to Dovy’s cribbed-off-the-internet question: “Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?”

This is what you were missing: humans are naturally curious, and if there’s a way to find out the answer to a question for themselves, they’ll do it (ie sticking their hand onto a freshly-painted fence) rather than relying upon other people. However in the case of stars, people have no practical way of testing this for themselves, so just have to take it as read.

I suppose that seems plausible, Martin, but if as you say people tend to find out the answers to questions for themselves, what the heck would we talk about in this podcast, eh?

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* Click HERE to listen to EPISODE 48 *

We like it very much when you listeners get in touch elaborating upon subjects in previous podcasts – even though it shows us up as being about as well informed as a pint of frogspawn. So we were delighted to receive the following email from Lewis from Kent, regarding Marie’s bashed elbow in Episode 48 and Mark’s biscuity mess in Episode 46:

I was listening to your last podcast, and I thought I might just point out that the funny bone is not actually a bone, but a collection of nerves, which is why your elbow feels numb when you bang it. Also I was just thinking about when you were discussing digestives, and their inability to fit into normal cups, but! I have a cup that fits a whole digestive! I would send a picture but at the moment I’m emailing from my iPod touch.

Lewis, I don’t suppose your big cup is by any chance the same as this one from our household? I don’t have a digestive biscuit with which to demonstrate the scale (because digestive biscuits are horrid), but this mug is almost big enough to dunk a whole grapefruit into.

However, much as I like a sizeable cup of tea, the main reason I bought this mug was because the supermarket had labelled it ‘Big Cock Mug‘. Fnarrr!

Oh, come on – why’re you all looking at me funny?

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* Click here to listen to EPISODE 24 *

Anna’s question “What is the worst job you have ever had to do?” from Episode 24 provided a searing insight into what it is to invigilate an exam; to wit:

I have just spent 8 hours staring at the backs of heads of eighty-two English literature students and not even been allowed to read or draw or anything and now I think I may have gone completely mad. I am NEVER EVER agreeing to invigilate exams again.

Well, Anna, if you do ever get sucked back into the world of pacing around an exam hall chiding cheats with a wooden ruler, take this advice from academic listener Miranda, who was compelled to provide us with more information as to how invigilators keep themselves amused:

There are a variety of games but my personal favourite is to before the exam starts agree a number of criteria (such as hottest person, most freaky looking person, person you’d most like to sleep with taking the exam etc) and then take it in turns when walking up and down the aisles and stand briefly by the person who fulfills each criteria. It’s so much fun – but makes it very difficult to keep a straight, serious grown up face and not laugh very loudly. So now you know.

So now we know!

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* Click HERE to listen to Episode 20 *

Finally, chaps, those who you have been holding your breath ever since Episode 16 came out can exhale. We may finally have an answer for Benjamin Partridge’s question, “Is Bremen in Germany a weird place to want to go on holiday?” And it’s all thanks to Mr Tim Scullion, who sent us the following email:

Funnily enough, I have been to Bremen on a holiday-ish. I went with Resonance FM and we did some sound workshops and stuff, and made a programme for Resonance. But we also hung out, drank, and ate, and it was… alright. It was winter, so there was a big traditional xmas village thing in the centre of the town, which was cool. Lots of traditional mulled wine and cinnamon biscuits. Most of the art students who I asked, however, didn’t particularly care for Bremen. I should explain that I asked art students because we were attending an international arts conference. I didn’t just seek them out to get their weird artist opinions. Well, I did, but it was very easy to do.

Hope this helps.

It certainly does, Tim! Thanks to you we can now conclude the following:
Bremen = alright
Benjamin Partridge = weird.
So that’s that all sewn up.

And as Tim has been so very helpful, it behoves us to present the following plug for his lovely band Hong Kong in the 60s, who have their first gig at The Good Ship, 289 Kilburn High Road NW6 7JR on 29th June at 8pm, to which you should totally go.
But if you’re busy saving the world that evening, then you’d be a fool to miss their next gig, on 16th July at the Bloomsbury Bowling Lanes. It’s FREE, and you get to come over all Big Lebowski whilst listening to the fine music. Which is what is known as a triple winner!

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* Click here to listen to EPISODE 14 of Answer Me This! *

We’ve had some wise listener feedback this week, from Alex, who happens to be one of Answer Me This!’s premier jingle artistes. In response to Chip’s question from Episode 14, Alex says:

We have washing up bowls for one very simple reason. It’s for swilling! If you’re not lucky enough to have a double sink then you need space for the cold swilling water to escape and not pollute the lovely warm soapy washing-up water, or cause the sink to overflow.

And if you don’t swill, as you’ve said yourself Helen, “the plates aren’t clean”!

Thank you, Alex, for shaking us out of our privileged double-sink-reverie. (And, indeed, without rinsing washing up isn’t worth a damn.) I feel satisfied now that the mystery is resolved. However, if YOU have a washing up bowl AND a double sink – what the hell are you playing at, eh?

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