Archive for the ‘Answer Us Back! Your time to opine’ Category

hiccups and sneezes

June 26, 2008

** Click here for EPISODE 59 **

Beth has more advice regarding sneeze/hiccup prevention tactics as raised in Episode 58:

I cure hiccups by drinking out of the wrong side of the glass like Helen’s family. It does actually work and if you are fully capable adult it is easy to do without spilling. It essentially means you are drinking upside down, whether that’s concentration or something to do with the diaphragm I have no idea.

As for sneezing, I tell everybody who has problems getting sneezes out (‘better out than in’, Helen, your tongue method may work but I believe that you should aim to sneeze, not hold it in) that they should look at something light/bright, then to something dark and repeat every few seconds. I think this is because by switching between the two your pupils contract and dilate, and as all things are connected this messes about with your sinuses (and other general sneezy bits), causing you to sneeze out that annoying tickle. I can’t remember if I read this somewhere or made it up, but it definitely works.

Ain’t sinuses crazy? Anyway, a whole NEW question has emerged from this hiccupping debate, thanks to Klaus:

What do you say to someone when they hiccup? With sneezes, it is customary to ‘bless’ the sneezee… when someone coughs, they might say ‘cough up’ or something similar. With a burp, one pardons oneself or is pardoned. But what of hiccups? Why are they are they just forced to linger awkwardly in the air until such a time as someone suggests a dubious hiccup remedy? Please advise!

Hmm, a fine point! In the event that one can refrain from saying ‘Try drinking a glass of water! Hold your breath! Throw yourself down the stairs! Have you tried holding your breath?’ then the usual thing to do is look at the hiccupper in a manner both sympathetic and condescending, if you can manage it; but any more gracious suggestions would be welcomed.

Subscribe with iTunesListen to previous episodesQuestion Archive
FAQFacebook FanclubMerchandise SuperstoreYouTube Channel

Episode 59 feedback

June 24, 2008

** Click here if you’re keen to listen to EPISODE 59 **

It’s feedback time! No, not when a horrid screeching sound comes out of the sound system at a gig, but when you delightful chappies shed light on issues raised in the podcast. Firstly, Graham from Canada has a tip in response to Adam’s plea for homework excuses in Episode 59:

My tip to avoid work is: eat about 10 multi-vitamins, then a sandwich, then phone your work once the sandwich is eaten and phone in to work sick (the multi vitamin sandwich thing is so barfing noises are real) this could be applied at lunch as well, if you want a half day. (Note, the zinc in the multi-vitamins in larger quantities is what causes the barfing.)

Before you merrily chow down on multivitamins in preparation for the upchuck of your life, please be aware that THIS IS NOT SOUND MEDICAL ADVICE. Also, why waste your fake sick day on actually being sick? But if you’re an emetophile or fervent self-hater, then go right ahead by all means.

Next to clean up one of our messes is Josh, commenting upon Luke from Birmingham‘s question about allergies in Episode 58:

Contrary to what Martin the soundman said, there is such a thing as an allergy to water and it doesn’t kill you before you’re born at all. Interesting!

The condition is called Aquagenic Urticaria. People who have it come up in really painful, itchy, itchy hives after coming in contact with water of any temperature, even their own sweat can trigger an allergic reaction. This means that they have to take really fast showers and have emergency umbrellas on them all the time. Let’s all think about that for a while.

Ouch! Yes, let’s. And then let’s cheer ourselves up by thinking about less severe allergies and weird reactions to foodstuffs, not only because it’s been AGES since we last did that, but also because Beth has been in touch to ask:

Am I the only one who breaks into a forehead sweat when I eat salt and vinegar crisps? Nothing else salty, vinagery or crispy, just them.

IS Beth the only one? Share, readers, share! And while you’re at it, please leave a comment here about your own bizarre food reactions, because we are horrible people who love to laugh at the digestive quirks of unfortunates.

Subscribe with iTunesListen to previous episodesQuestion Archive
FAQFacebook FanclubMerchandise SuperstoreYouTube Channel

Stools rush in

June 18, 2008

Seeing as we’ve already had one post about bodily functions this morning, let’s just say, “Sod off, bumface!” to delicacy and have another. Regarding the unanswered question “Why are stools called stools, as in bowel movement stools?” in the theme tune of yesteryear’s Episode 38, Graham from Canada theorises:

It could be because poo is one of the first things they use to test, if they don’t know what you have, supporting them, like a stool…

Maverick theory, young Graham. But rarely are semantics so abstract, and the origins of this term are rather more prosaic: in Old English the word ‘stool’ referred to thrones and other such fancy seats, but when the French word ‘chair’ then entered the language, ‘stool’ got relegated to armless and backless seats, including those which one sat upon to evacuate one’s bowels. By the fifteenth century, poor old ‘stool’ was applied not only to the pieces furniture, but also the shits produced thereupon.

From throne to poo…oh, the bathos.

Subscribe with iTunesListen to previous episodesQuestion Archive
FAQFacebook FanclubMerchandise SuperstoreYouTube Channel

Red semen at night…

June 18, 2008

Following the discussion on shades of sperm in Episode 57, Mik wrote in to share this worrying turn of biological and social events:

A while ago my sperm turned bright red. A little worried, I called at my doctor’s. She told me not to worry it was caused by over-active sex (lucky girlfriend) and would gradually disappear. To keep a check I was to wank into a condom every day and compare results. After about a week, and feeling pleased at my now healing sperm, we all had a good night on the town, returning to my place to carry the party on. The question is this: did i get my condoms filled with various shades of spunk out too early to show everyone, as the party atmosphere seemed to lose its direction after that?

Gosh. In an evening of festivities, how early is ‘too early’ to invite admiration of your bloody emissions? If you are one of Mik’s friends who happened to be present at this gory soirée, please leave a comment to say what time would have been the optimum point of proceedings for him to produce his display; then hopefully his future parties won’t peak prematurely.

Subscribe with iTunesListen to previous episodesQuestion Archive
FAQFacebook FanclubMerchandise SuperstoreYouTube Channel

Alphabeat confusion

June 11, 2008

Here’s a puzzle, listeners. (Not a puzzle like these puzzles, but a Curious Conundrum which we’ve had trouble answering.)

A few weeks ago, we had the following email from Josie from Surrey:

Is it just me, or does Olly look very much like the man on the video for ‘Fascination’ by Alphabeat – if Olly was a lot younger and Danish? It worries me that every time I see the song on in the school gym, it seems like Olly’s face is looming out at me all the time. This is understandably disturbing – no offence Olly.

Well, perhaps we are just thick-eyed gorms, but we couldn’t work out which member of the band was supposed to look like Olly! Although we did discount the girl. Watch the video and see what you think:

But that’s not the end of the matter. Even if you do think Olly looks like a fellow from Alphabeat, what do you make of this from Dave from Coventry?

Why is it that when I listen to the podcast you two always remind me of the pop duo Alphabeat, even though I know you don’t look or sound anything like them?

Answer us this, listeners: DO WE OR DO WE NOT LOOK LIKE ALPHABEAT????

To help you decide, here’s us:

And here’s Alphabeat:

Can’t tell us apart? There are six of them, for a start.

Subscribe with iTunesListen to previous episodesQuestion Archive
FAQFacebook FanclubMerchandise SuperstoreYouTube Channel

International squabbles settled: cookies vs. biscuits

June 11, 2008

Back in Episode 54, listener Michele asked: ‘Why are cookies called Biscuits in Europe? To us, biscuits are something that come with overly fried food at KFC, not a sweet dessert best dunked in coffee. And if you call cookies “biscuits”, what name do you use for the soft flaky bread we Yanks call biscuits?’

The Answer Me This! team get approximately 60% of their energy from biscuits, so were greedily qualified to explain that ‘biscuit’ derives from the Latin for ‘twice-cooked’ and that said ‘soft flaky bread’ would be pretty much the same as what is known in Britain as a scone (although such an item would never be seen in a British KFC, unless a careless old lady had accidentally knocked her cake-stand into the deep fat fryer).

But a question remained: why do Americans call cookies ‘cookies’? Enter David from Canada, a man used to this biscuit/cookie confusion because ‘as a Canadian, we have to deal with both terms’:

It’s because New York used to be New Amsterdam. New Amsterdam was settled by the Dutch, and because New York was so important to the development of the American lexicon, Dutch words were already being used for a lot of everyday items by the time the British took over. Cookie derives from the Dutch word “koekje”, which means a small cake.

As for the American biscuit, you’re right. It’s essentially a bland, sometimes heavy, scone. Often used to sop up gravy. Here in Canada, we call them tea biscuits.

‘Tea biscuits’?? That’s opening up a whole new world of befuddlement! If that’s the name you give them, what do you call the rich tea biscuit, which, confusingly, is far less rich than the Canadian tea biscuit, and completely hopeless when introduced to gravy? I call the rich tea biscuit a tedious waste of snack-time, but I doubt that title has spread across the Atlantic.

Subscribe with iTunesListen to previous episodesQuestion Archive
FAQFacebook FanclubMerchandise SuperstoreYouTube Channel

X marks the spot (of your sloppy kisses)

June 3, 2008

Regarding Phil’s question about the letter ‘x’ denoting kisses in Episode 56, we have received an intriguing new theory on the matter from the lovely Louise:

The letter ‘x’ when said phonetically sounds a bit like this –

“kss”

This is very similar to the word ‘kiss’ which is said like this –

“kiss”

Hmm – certainly doesn’t seem too far-fetched, Louise. But as the origins of ‘x’ as symbol of affection remain undecided, have any of the rest of you got plausible theories for it? Let us know, and through teamwork this mystery can be vanquished.

Subscribe with iTunesListen to previous episodesQuestion Archive
FAQFacebook FanclubMerchandise SuperstoreYouTube Channel

Salt: Nick answers back

April 14, 2008

** Answer Me This! is back from holiday on 15th May; meanwhile click here to browse the back catalogue **

So that knackered end-of-term feeling was running high in Episode 53. Mouth was already waiting out in the car park while Brain was still packing up its gym-kit. And that, dear listeners, is how mistakes get made.

But luckily, and not for the first time, the ever-assiduous Nick has been in touch to correct my error regarding Paul in Southend‘s question about adding salt to cooking water. Says Nick:

Putting salt in water raises, not lowers, the boiling point; the idea, of course, is that the water can be hotter, and thus cook your food (presumably rice or pasta) a bit quicker. And a bit saltier. Surprised Martin “Mr Scientist” didn’t pick you up on that one.

Yeah, Martin! Did you buy your doctorate off the internet? Pshaw!

Anyway, apologies for that, and thanks Nick. However the crux of my point remains true, that in order for salt to make a larger-than-infinitesimal difference to your cookery times, you would have to add so much of it that your alphabetti would be completely inedible. Not to mention that it would turn your supper into one of the greatest predators known to man! SALT KILLS, people!

Not this Salt, mind. She is, to our knowledge, perfectly innocent.

Subscribe with iTunesListen to episodesQuestion ArchiveFAQ
Facebook FanclubTwitterMerch SuperstoreYouTube Channel

Answer Us Back: agar gel and Primal Scream

April 2, 2008

** Click here to listen to EPISODE 51 **

We’ve had some delightful feedback regarding Episode 50, firstly from Dr Ruth:

After hearing of Jonathon Roberts’ lamentable predisposition to eating his hair gel, I felt compelled to reply with my own version of this affliction. I work in a lab, and we use agar gel for growing bacterial colonies. I LOVE the smell of agar gel (a sort of malty aroma), although others find it repulsive. I did once try some, and although it was really quite revolting to taste, I still find myself wanting to eat it whenever I smell the damned stuff, even though I now know that it would not satisfy my taste buds!

Don’t be frightened, kids – Dr Ruth’s not snacking on some mysterious ectoplasm. Agar is a derivative of seaweed, and is used instead of gelatine in various foodstuffs, so is quite edible and non-toxic. But it’s also a laxative, so watch out, Dr Ruth!

On another Episode 50-related matter, Flash from Dublin writes:

When I heard you talk about funny places to fall asleep I just had to share mine. I was at a music festival in Japan and at some point between Primal scream and New Order my friends found me asleep on a low branch of a tree. No Idea what Happened as I usually don’t even like going uphill, never mind the effort of tree climbing!

Gosh, the amazing adventures of the somnolent Flash! However I suspect that you were trying to escape the sound of Primal Scream by stuffing your ears with bark. Even when asleep, humans’ instincts for self-preservation are remarkable.

Subscribe with iTunesListen to previous episodesQuestion Archive
FAQFacebook FanclubMerchandise SuperstoreYouTube Channel

Answer Us Back: Super Mario and lethal injections

March 25, 2008

** Click here to listen to EPISODE 50 **

Following Episode 50 and questioneer Oli asking, “If Nintendo is a Japanese company then why is its star character (Mario) supposed to be Italian?”, several of you have written in to offer solutions to this mystery.

Luke from Birmingham suggests: “I believe that they made him Italian to match his look (hat and ‘tache). The reason they gave him the hat and the moustache was because they were easier to animate than hair and a mouth back in those days.”

Sounds plausible enough. But what of this hypothesis from JC of japanmanship.blogspot.com: “The story, which may be apocryphal, is that when Mr. Arakawa was setting up Nintendo of America they had this warehouse and when the time came to give Jumpman from Donkey Kong a name they were being hassled by their landlord, an Italian American named Mario. The plumbing angle is a mystery though.”

Hmm. The plot thickens… So let’s add a real-life Italian’s opinion to the mix, courtesy of Rachele from Naples: “I always assumed Mario and Luigi were Italian-American rather than just Italian. I don’t know why, but that’s the vibe I got…also surely the stereotypical plumber nowadays is Polish?”

Well, now we don’t know what to believe! So let’s divert ourselves with an answer to the unanswered question from Episode 49, “Why do they sterilise the needles for lethal injections?” Take it away, Billy from Featherstone:

“The answer is that sterilising the needles makes sure that the person administering the injection doesn’t catch anything if they were to accidentally catch themselves.”

Thanks, Billy from Featherstone! It’s always a pleasure when you lot do our work for us… Also regarding Episode 49, a number of you have written in voicing your anguish at being denied Martin the Sound Man‘s response to Dovy’s cribbed-off-the-internet question: “Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?”

This is what you were missing: humans are naturally curious, and if there’s a way to find out the answer to a question for themselves, they’ll do it (ie sticking their hand onto a freshly-painted fence) rather than relying upon other people. However in the case of stars, people have no practical way of testing this for themselves, so just have to take it as read.

I suppose that seems plausible, Martin, but if as you say people tend to find out the answers to questions for themselves, what the heck would we talk about in this podcast, eh?

Subscribe with iTunesListen to previous episodesQuestion Archive
FAQFacebook FanclubMerchandise SuperstoreYouTube Channel

Digestives and the funny bone

March 10, 2008

* Click HERE to listen to EPISODE 48 *

We like it very much when you listeners get in touch elaborating upon subjects in previous podcasts – even though it shows us up as being about as well informed as a pint of frogspawn. So we were delighted to receive the following email from Lewis from Kent, regarding Marie’s bashed elbow in Episode 48 and Mark’s biscuity mess in Episode 46:

I was listening to your last podcast, and I thought I might just point out that the funny bone is not actually a bone, but a collection of nerves, which is why your elbow feels numb when you bang it. Also I was just thinking about when you were discussing digestives, and their inability to fit into normal cups, but! I have a cup that fits a whole digestive! I would send a picture but at the moment I’m emailing from my iPod touch.

Lewis, I don’t suppose your big cup is by any chance the same as this one from our household? I don’t have a digestive biscuit with which to demonstrate the scale (because digestive biscuits are horrid), but this mug is almost big enough to dunk a whole grapefruit into.

Big Cock Mug

However, much as I like a sizeable cup of tea, the main reason I bought this mug was because the supermarket had labelled it ‘Big Cock Mug‘. Fnarrr!

Oh, come on – why’re you all looking at me funny?

Subscribe with iTunesListen to previous episodesQuestion Archive
FAQFacebook FanclubMerchandise SuperstoreYouTube Channel

The Secret Life of Exam Invigilators

July 23, 2007

* Click here to listen to EPISODE 24 *

Anna’s question “What is the worst job you have ever had to do?” from Episode 24 provided a searing insight into what it is to invigilate an exam; to wit:

I have just spent 8 hours staring at the backs of heads of eighty-two English literature students and not even been allowed to read or draw or anything and now I think I may have gone completely mad. I am NEVER EVER agreeing to invigilate exams again.

Well, Anna, if you do ever get sucked back into the world of pacing around an exam hall chiding cheats with a wooden ruler, take this advice from academic listener Miranda, who was compelled to provide us with more information as to how invigilators keep themselves amused:

There are a variety of games but my personal favourite is to before the exam starts agree a number of criteria (such as hottest person, most freaky looking person, person you’d most like to sleep with taking the exam etc) and then take it in turns when walking up and down the aisles and stand briefly by the person who fulfills each criteria. It’s so much fun – but makes it very difficult to keep a straight, serious grown up face and not laugh very loudly. So now you know.

So now we know!

Subscribe with iTunesListen to previous episodesQuestion Archive
FAQFacebook FanclubMerchandise SuperstoreYouTube Channel