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Here’s an unusual question from Ben from Geelong:
How do I stop my son from saying “fork”?
I don’t want to slow his development. He is 18 months old and this is one of his first words,and when he says it, it sounds like “FUCK”. And he says it A LOT!!!!! In shopping centres, down the street, in the park…………..I’m getting strange and disapproving looks. Any ideas?
Aside from stuffing a sock into his mouth to silence him (but not curb the disapproving looks from passers-by)? No! I have no idea how to make a child do anything. Their dominion mystifies and intimidates me in equal measure.
If you are less pathetic than I in the field of child discipline and language-cleaning, please go to the comments and help Ben silence that little non-pottymouth.
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Answer Me This! Podcast 
May 9, 2011 at 7:19 pm |
My younger brother had the same problem. His favourite word until he was 5 was “duck”, but it didn’t sound like that when he had a dummy in his mouth…
May 8, 2011 at 9:06 pm |
The solution is to teach him as many swear words as possible. Then tell everyone that he has Tourette syndrome. The disapproving looks will be gone as they stumble over themselves trying to apologies for being insensitive.
May 5, 2011 at 9:35 am |
I live in Germany with husband and 2 little boys. When they were little they used to walk around and constantly say the german word for Digger, which is Bagger. You can imagine how that felt when in the UK with them. Any suggestions here?
May 4, 2011 at 11:44 pm |
Give him a harmless plastic fork in his hand to wave around while he is busy saying fork!
April 30, 2011 at 3:42 pm |
Tell him he’s getting it wrong, and punish him harshly every time he says it. Take away a toy or a meal or something. Tell him the correct word is Bundebangles.
If he disbelieves you, explain that the word fork has been outlawed, and saying it might make mummy and daddy have to go away to prison. He wouldn’t want mummy and daddy to go away, now would he?
Make sure you keep this up at all times when he is with you. If a friend or family member happens to use the word fork wait for them to leave and then enact a heated debate as to whether to phone the police or not. If he chooses to grass them up, then make sure he never meets them again.
At some point, you may need to tell him that this has all been an elaborate ruse. Break the news gently by offering him cutlery. If he asks for a bundebangle, tell him you won’t abide such foul manners and leave the house, never to return. Hopefully by this point he will be old enough and wise enough to look after himself, except on first dates, company Christmas meals or similar minor restaurant based situations.
Hope this works out for you, let us know how you get on.
April 30, 2011 at 3:06 pm |
Teach him to say “Knife and” as well, put the 2 together and Bobs’ your uncle, no more embarrasing situations and all the ladies will think he is adorable!
April 28, 2011 at 11:58 am |
Make it his catch phrase maybe add in a ‘Super Hero’ costume… it worked for The Tick “Spoon!”