EPISODE 139 – nothing about a stork makes me horny. Nothing!

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Cover your kiddies’ ears during Answer Me This! Episode 139. Not just because of the usual effing and blinding (although that can’t be wholesome for them, surely?), but because this week, we talk about [whisper] Where Babies Come From [/whisper]. Shudder!


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Aside from the role of birds in the human reproductive process, we speak of:

Sauron’s bird feeders
Billy Kennedy’s fluffy dice
posset
turkey farming
‘shimmering apricot mould’
bloodworm
Kia-Ora
the Virgin Mary vs. pelicans
Ted Heath vs. Hugh Grant
chum salmon vs. chambermates
Chambourcy Hippopotamousse
and
the correct classification of pasta salad.

Plus: Olly turns his fishbowl into a scene from Cannibal Holocaust; Helen busts out another member of her Nauseating Cookery Book collection; and Martin the Sound Man seems to know more than the average sound man about clinical trials, although he was born and raised in a petri dish in a GlaxoSmithKline laboratory…

Now don’t get upset, but after next week’s episode, we’ll be taking a month off to rest our voices. So get your QUESTIONS in, quick! Call 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. See you next Thursday, and we’ll make that precious time together count, ok?

Helen and Olly

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9 Responses to “EPISODE 139 – nothing about a stork makes me horny. Nothing!”

  1. Jamie Says:

    I remember mine, we signed each others shirts and all kinds (most of the time for the guys it was a great chance to cop a feel).

    Infact I still have my shirt…
    (looking at shirt)
    Yes.. yes I remember having fake boobs on my shirt for the day..

    Who the fuck was Dave?

  2. Mikey Says:

    Our muck up day was pretty anarchic –we glued coins to the ground,we chained the school gates shut,we had the usual water/flour/egg fights and ambushed people walking home,we waited until the other years were in their classrooms and papered over the doors so they had to punck their way out like those weird things american football teams havewe kidnapped a first year from his class and chained him to the flagpole with fluffy handcuffs (he was in on it – his teacher wasn’t),we covered the bannisters with ketchup,and we released several boxes of crickets we got from a fishing shop.
    +1

  3. Ryan Says:

    I used to love Kia Ora! I used to have it at my grandparent’s house 😛

  4. daveyhampton Says:

    I’m pretty sure the reason you don’t see Um Bongo much any more is because it’s racist?

  5. Mike from Bath Says:

    Olly, I haven’t owned fish for years, but if you want to treat them to something other than dried flakes, consider getting a bag of live daphnia. The fish will chase them around eating them and you can see them being active without the need for a marauding shark. Don’t get duped into buying live bloodworm, apparently they start living in the gravel and you’ll never get rid of them.

    We didn’t have a muck up day, though there was a spontaneous and completely unsanctioned full scale food fight on the last day. Looking back that’s a horrifying waste of food, but at the time it was quite an experience even though I didn’t actually take part.

  6. Jenn Says:

    Our muck up day was pretty anarchic –
    we glued coins to the ground,
    we chained the school gates shut,
    we had the usual water/flour/egg fights and ambushed people walking home,
    we waited until the other years were in their classrooms and papered over the doors so they had to punck their way out like those weird things american football teams have
    we kidnapped a first year from his class and chained him to the flagpole with fluffy handcuffs (he was in on it – his teacher wasn’t),
    we covered the bannisters with ketchup,
    and we released several boxes of crickets we got from a fishing shop.

    We also broke in the night before and planted a christmas tree in the midle of the football pitch and painted the goalposts red, the janitors dug the tree up in about 5 minutes but the whole year got called to the hall for a stern talk about how it was going to cost hundreds of pounds and need specialist equipment (wtf?) to fix the goalposts – our solution was simple – we broke in the following night and painted them white again then sent a joke invoce to the headmaster suggesting he pay the ‘hundreds of pounds’ towards making our prom better…. he didn’t ):

  7. 2plus2isjoe Says:

    I, like the emailer, also went to a posh private school in St. Albans, but our muck-up day was an anarchic success. People dressed up in boiler suits, threw smoke and flour bombs, activated rape alarms and hid them so they couldn’t be turned off before more of us dropped 5,000 bouncy balls out of a third floor window.

    One small child did get a glass eye knocked out, but otherwise the teachers turned a blind eye. Wahay!

  8. Harry in Chestefield, aged 13 Says:

    This is unrelated to this episode, but my friend just got a new girlfriend, and said he was going to keep it open with her. Answer me this: Why did he try to kill me when I told him ‘If your relationship’s that open I’ll stick my dick right in it’?

  9. Nia Says:

    RE Muckup Day

    We did nothing for our Muck Up Day, carrying on as normal all morning, leaving our head of year to become even more paranoid as the day progressed –

    I suspect her nerves were on a knife edge since the year before had covered her car entirely with toilet paper, stole the balls from the mice in the 6th form computer room and paraded a marching band made up of mobile phone ringtones – but watching her pace the halls and snap at people in preparation for a major event was it’s own reward.

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