Statu[e]s Symbol



Simon from Clitheroe, Lancashire writes:

Further to last week’s bit about street performance statues, last year my girlfriend and I were in Budapest. We noticed a very good statue that was earning lots of money. After quite a long time of not moving at all we saw a guy arrive and collect the money, this was when we realised that the “human” statue was just a grey painted mannequin!

That’s even worse than the statues who aren’t doing anything beyond wearing a crappy mask or a funny hat! OUTRAGEOUS and IMMORAL. Unless it’s all an art piece. You can get away with a lot of shitty behaviour if you pretend it’s an art piece…

OK guys, since we’re on the subject, let’s workshop my human statues sitcom idea . I suggested a working title of Statues at Liberty; Olly opted for Standing Still. James has raised the bar:

I think
Statue-Tory could be a success. Following an ageing Etonian Tory cabinet minister recently removed from office.

Or, along those lines, StatueTORI: cash-strapped Tori Spelling has to resort to working as a human statue to keep her family together. This is more a reality TV show and book than a sitcom, I’ll admit.

OK, how about: Statu[e]s Quo! Human statues by day, Status Quo tribute band by night! And in life they’re struggling to cling onto their current situation, running fast just to stand still.

Or: On a Pedestal. An adorably ingenuous young man/woman is crazy for human statues and thinks they’re the greatest thing ever – but upon spending time with the people behind the facepaint, he/she is forced to learn a few hard truths, and reconcile themself to the fact that nobody is perfect. Not even a human statue. Especially not a human statue.

Alternatively: Freeze!. Human statues are caught up in a stick-up, and a crime caper ensues as the statues have to prove their innocence and track down the real culprits, all without moving a muscle.

Any more for any more? COMMENTS. GO. Together let’s nail this pitch.

One thing’s for certain, whichever option gets made: the outro music would be ‘I’m Still Standing’.


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