cuckoo in the nest


Eddie friends


We receive a lot of questions about the perils of cohabitation, and here’s a tricksy one from an anonymous man:

I am living in a flat with my fiancé and my best friend. The reason my friend is living with us at the moment is because he is unable to afford a place on his own.

My fiancé and I are looking to move into a house with each other, and when I told my friend he thought he is coming with us.

My fiancé is mad at me because I haven’t told him that he can’t come and I’m scared if I say this to him he will befriend me! What should I do and say?

You’ve got to just come out and say it. “So [friend], when we move into our new place, do you have an idea of where you’ll be going?” seems adequately tactful, but if you’re too wimpy even for that, then just tell him about the one-bedroom place you’re hoping to move to. If that doesn’t work, revise ‘one-bedroom’ to ‘bedsit’. And if that doesn’t work either, start banging on about the tiny house movement.

Readers, come to Anon’s assistance and offer your friend-ousting suggestions in the comments.


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One Response to “cuckoo in the nest”

  1. Sam Says:

    I think the obvious thing is to tell him you’ve made a mistake and that although you’d hoped to live with your best friend and fiancé after the move, say the practicalities are against you and that it’s not going to work.
    I like Helen’s idea of hastening the separation of ways and so further ideas are to include the threat of impending children; I assume the questioneer is female as she has a fiancé and not a fiancée but if that wouldn’t work or doesn’t apply, talk about adopting one.
    Failing that, you could go in for steampunk in a sudden and startling manner. Screaming children and spray-painted nerf guns are a deadly combination.

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