moving on



How soon is too soon, wonders Pat from Canada:

My nephew got married last summer to a woman he had lived with for two years.

Four months later he suspected that she was cheating on him and after Christmas we found our that they had separated but were in counseling.

A month ago we were told that they were getting a divorce.

Yesterday I found out that my nephew is already seeing someone.

While I want him to be happy and find a new soul mate, isn’t this all a bit too fast? Answer me this: how long after deciding to divorce should someone wait before starting to date again?

Readers, if you believe there is an appropriate set period of singletude, or if you have designed an equation to calculate that period in proportion to the length of relationship, share in the comments.

Personally, I don’t see the harm if Pat’s nephew is just having a not-to-serious time with a new paramour, moving on with a fun fling, salving the wounds left by his cheating partner.

If, however, he and his ladyfriend are already dressing alike, running non-essential errands to Ikea, making wedding plans or buying adjacent burial plots, I can understand Pat’s concern. But since he’s an adult man with dominion over his own decisions, I’m not sure she can intervene. As an aunt myself, frankly I wouldn’t feel comfortable judging when my nephew was ready to love again, but my nephew is only five and a half years old so I can hazard a guess that he should play the field for another couple of decades at least.


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