further adventures in icing

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We’re still not tired of you testing the linguistic boundaries of Thorntons’ bespoke icing policy.

This post features RUDE WORDS ON CHOCOLATE, so click through to see the rest of it.

Laura from Beverley, East Yorkshire has really found the emotional side of the wheeze:

My friends bought me this bear as a going away present when I moved to Spain a few years ago, they say they got it from a Thorntons in Brentwood. At the time I didn’t really want to leave, and this bear made me cry.

bear

Over the years, we’ve given each other several Thorntons chocolate bears with profanities written on them, and apart from a few odd looks, the staff have never refused to write something rude or abusive. The best was when they wrote “RIM ME!” in capitals on a bear,
and our friend opened it in front of his parents.

Jimmy, meanwhile, took matters and icing into his own hands:

My girlfriend and I were on a shopping trip and as is accustomed on these occasions, we split up in an attempt to avoid the tragic boredom of pretending to care about what the other is buying.

At our rendezvous point she passed me a Thorntons bag with a big smile on her face. The witty bugger had only gone and purchased a personalised message reading “stuck with me”…a reference to her usual response when I jest about her being a bit crazy.

I could not resist the opportunity, and when at home that evening carefully rearranged the icing, took a picture and sent it to my girlfriend. Placing the edited version back into the box and sliding it under the sofa, away from judgemental eyes and greedy hands, it’s fair to say I was pretty happy with myself at this point.
image-1
However, the following evening, my aunt and cousins (the kind of family you only see at Christmas, weddings and funerals) ‘popped in’ for an impromptu visit. My cousin’s 4-year-old son pulled the Thornton’s bag out from under the sofa, like a sniffer dog, and began to shout.

I only wish I could bottle the tangible level of awkwardness that filled the room as he revealed the ejaculating iced penis. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the audible gasp from my prudish aunt.

But we’re not just interested in your sweary sweets. Tom in Switzerland tested the limits in a different way:

Here is a photo of my sister holding chocolate from Thorntons. They have quite detailed math equations on, I would be more likely to be annoyed at having to write this rather than a simple cunt.

photo

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