** Click here for Episode 177 **
Here’s a very tricky romantic problem from Sean from London:
I have been going out with my Bangladeshi Muslim girlfriend for three years now, and what with me being an Irish Catholic, she is yet to introduce me to her parents as she thinks they won’t approve (despite my attempts to persuade her).
Normally this wouldn’t bother me, but she is moving back home for the foreseeable future, and it seems unlikely that I will get to spend much time with her.
So answer me this, what should I do? Should I introduce myself against her wishes, put up and shut up, or should I just cut my losses?
There are multiple risks with each approach, respectively: possibly getting your girlfriend into a load of shit with her family; living with the situation for a while, but inevitably having to face the same decision at some point in the future; losing your lady love. On the other hand: you might charm the parents; have a wonderfully old-fashioned relationship by letter; or find that you weren’t well-matched after all and your new single status is, in fact, a boon.
Anyway, seeing as this is a serious dilemma, and one of which many of you may have had similar experiences, let’s tackle it with all the gravitas and tact we can muster: an online poll.
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Answer Me This! Podcast 
June 8, 2011 at 9:03 pm |
Think of the consequences not only for you but for your girlfriend before you do anything. Introducing yourself against your girlfriend’s wishes might work out, but it also might make life awkward (if not worse) for her if her parents don’t approve. With the risks to her as well as yourself, I wouldn’t do anything without her consent. I think the best course of action would be to have one last, very serious conversation with her about the situation. If she doesn’t agree to introduce you or reassure you to your satisfaction that long distance will work, cut your losses.
June 8, 2011 at 12:37 pm |
I agree with Fat Bob. Also you have to allow for the possibility that she is just using her parents as an excuse to end the relationship.
June 8, 2011 at 10:44 am |
Cut your losses. Introducing yourself against her wishes is selfish and unfair. You might conceivably make things work as a long-distance thing, but I can’t see it ending well. Unless she’s prepared to square things away with her parents or elope with you, you don’t have a real future.