“Happy anniversary! I made you a collage out of lentils.”


** Click here for Episode 149 **

Is poverty the enemy of love? Let’s hope not, for Pete from Somerset‘s sake:

I’m 16, and next Monday is my 1st anniversary with my girlfriend. I figure that it is only my duty as a gentleman to buy her a present AND take her out for something special. But the fact is that I am 16, and therefore I have no pissing money. So, answer me this: how can I take my girlfriend out somewhere special, but still save money to buy her a gift?

Readers, go to the comments right away and give Pete some useful suggestions for romance on a budget. Now! Next Monday is not far away! But Pete, if they don’t come up with anything workable, then tell your girlfriend that you’ve forsworn your ‘duty as a gentleman’ as you felt it a relic from a more sexist age, and moreover, she should learn not to be such a filthy materialist. No doubt many more happy years together will follow.

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15 Responses to ““Happy anniversary! I made you a collage out of lentils.””

  1. Peter's girlfriend. Says:

    Rhys from Bridgend, I like your thinking. But I don’t really need anything at all, although what you said would be dead cute, I’m not going to hold my breath! He can’t microwave a bowl of beans let alone cook lasagne! But I still love him all the same!

  2. Pat Pothier Says:

    Hey Pete, girls like it when a guy notices the little things that make her happy. So save your money for a nice, modest meal at her favourite place and don’t fork out a lot of dough on the gift. Instead think of everyday things that bring a smile to her face. A flower, just one not a whole bouquet, a cute picture, animals sleeping are a fav, a piece of her fav candy, not the whole box, you get the idea. A few of her favourite things will let her know you pay attention to what makes her happy and that will let her know how important she is to you!

  3. Renan Kleper Says:

    Homemade things are always welcome. Besides, you should try to save money till monday and splash it out on the date as a whole, not only giving her material stuff. I think she’ll get the best present ever! However, you’re underage right? So as long as you said you have no money, you should try asking your mum for help 🙂 after some schmoozing, who knows… she might open her hands…

  4. Linda Says:

    Does your family, neighbor, or local business need some projects done? It may be the way to some quick cash.
    Used CD of favorite band, used book of favorite author or one you know she will like, tuck a photo of yourself inside. A couple of good drawing pencils tied with a red ribbon, a handmade card, homemade batch of cookies, be tourists in your hometown and go for a walk to places you haven’t seen. A bar of the best chocolate you can afford, wrapped nicely, the funnies are fine.
    A mixtape is a great idea, could you do a work exchange with a friend if you don’t have the means to do it yourself.

  5. Luke Says:

    Spend all the money on the date, the only gift she needs is love =]

    or something cheesy like that

  6. Jonathan Walsh Says:

    Just contrive an argument this weekend and then dump her. Wait till after Monday to get back with her.

  7. Andrew Says:

    Write her a poem and have a picnic where you met her.

  8. Christopher Morrow Says:

    Get money from the parents, simple. Threten to run away or something, go to your mum, she’ll be more symphetic to your situation… probabely.

    Or don’t bother, if she’s expecting something she’s only in it for the money, (gold digger).

  9. Stefane Says:

    You didn’t give yourself much time to work with, did you? Why didn’t you plan ahead?!

    Speaking from experience, these are the best gifts I’ve given or received:

    1. A notebook with a love letter or random inside jokes you two share. You could start a tradition of passing the notebook back and forth, taking turns writing in it. It can be a great way to bring fun communication into the relationship.

    2. A drawing of something your girlfriend likes! When my boyfriend gave me a drawing of some random cute animals that I like, all thrown together with an amazing/weird background, I was super happy.

    3. Take a bunch of photos of you two and make it into a collage, scrapbook, or some other special gift.

    4. Jewelry, as suggested by Nicky, is always great. But instead of buying something, why don’t you just pick up some beads and string and make it yourself?

    I hope you have a happy anniversary!!

  10. Rhys from Bridgend Says:

    I think, special is nice. But cute is even nicer. Order in pizza, watch a film that she wants to and watch it together, sharing a blanket. I think a cuddly evening is nice than an expensive meal.

    If you want to do the special thing, invite her over yours and dim all the lights, rose petals leading to the table where you have made her food. Your parents will have candles you can steal, rose petals are dead cheap to buy and to make something like a lasagne can cost less than £4 if you shop around and pick ingredients carefully.

  11. Nicky Says:

    You could buy her some ‘vintage’ jewellery, and by ‘vintage’ I mean charity shop. If it’s old, it looks more meaningful… but it still has to be nice, not just any old Pat Butcher pair of earrings.

    As for something nice to do, you could suggest a picnic? Sounds romantic, and is also cheap! With the crap weather, though, you might need a backup plan.

  12. Paul Says:

    Film yourself singing something soppy, upload it onto youtube. that way we can all have a laugh as well.

  13. kirkycheap Says:

    I’m going to address the present sitch, as I’d say there is only one possible obvious choice of a “free-but-meaningful” present. Classic mixtape. (It should actually be a cd natch, but mixtape sounds cooler)

    Put on songs that you know she loves, that have been the soundtrack to some romantic scenarios you’ve shared (e.g. that time she got mayonaise on her chin in the chippy, and you both laughed, and in the background “tragedy” by the beegees was playing, and it was just MAGICAL) and then interweave clips from her favourite films / tv shows in between. If you dress it up with a hand made cover, with pictures of lots of in jokes you have and photos of you together, there is no way she couldn’t love it, unless she is cold, cold, cold.

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