** Click here for Episode 108 **

After last week’s mild stomach-churners, Daz from Cleethorpes has sent in an email and photos to further tax our gag reflexes. Do not scroll down if you don’t want to lose your lunch, OK? We’ve warned you. Here goes:

Last year my uncle, who lives round the corner from me in Cleethorpes, was bitten on the foot by a spider which was promptly squished flat. Bob’s foot (yes, Bob’s my uncle!) promptly swelled up, causing him to go to his GP.

The doctor didn’t believe poor Bob and told him that UK-based spiders don’t bite and are non-venomous, and prescribed Bob a course of antibiotics. Two weeks and much pain later my uncle’s leg looked like this:

WARNING! Not for the squeamish!

Click on this thumbnail to enlarge.  Only, don't.

Click on this thumbnail to enlarge. Only, don't.

seriously, don't

seriously, don't

Honestly, are you sick or something?

Honestly, are you sick or something?

Excuse us a second while we pick our stomachs up off the floor. Ahem. Daz continues:

Helen and Olly answer me this:

Are there any British spiders capable of inflicting such injuries?

And, did Uncle Bob’s doctor know his arse from his elbow? I feel this would be a prerequisite of a medical practitioner!

P.S Uncle bob was out of hospital after about a month and his leg now looks like a massive port-wine stain.

Sorry, Daz – we can’t answer your question because we’re too busy hoovering every nook and cranny in the house, piling conkers in every corner, and constructing an arachnid-proof pod in which to sleep. But well done for sending in a question that manages to combine several different common nightmares in one: spiders, near-death experiences, and mummies’ legs.

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  1. Ned Hymen Says:

    They came over here and took our flies years ago:


    Mind you Cleethorpes is bloody miles away from Devon. It’d take a spider about 12 days to walk it or just 3 hitch-hiking; assuming it flashed its octopussy to attract lorry drivers

  2. Emma Says:

    I’ve always said that those of us that are scared of spiders are the sensible ones. This proves my point very nicely! Off to find some conkers.

  3. Charlie the Wanghouse Says:

    A similar happened to my dad’s friend (he lives in Newcastle). His leg swelled up to over twice its normal size and he couldn’t walk for a few weeks.
    He’s okay now though.

  4. James from Lincolnshire Says:

    Wow… i live near cleethorpes…. this is disturbing :-O

  5. Michael Says:

    Yikes, that’s pretty gross.

    I think it’s pretty well-documented that poisonous arachnids and insects occasionally make it into the UK clinging onto imported foods – spiders particularly are found on bananas. Was Uncle Bob having a snack at the time?

    Furthermore i think there are some massive spiders that travel between islands on coconuts. Can’t exactly remember where I heard that tho and now I’ve written it down it sounds like some kind of feverish dream I must’ve had.

    Just ignore me.

  6. Laurence from York Says:

    Is it just me or does this guy have shaved legs, even the non infected one?

  7. Simon Says:

    That’s disgusting… I’m just shivering looking at them.

    Tut tut Helen.

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