baby blockers



Our next questioneer Voni from Birmingham is like, baby, baby, baby urrrgh, like baby, baby, baby, NOOOO:

Last weekend a friend of mine had her first baby. As per usual with new parents, she’s been putting pictures of the baby on Facebook and everybody and their mum’s been cooing over them. I’m really happy for her, as I know she really wanted this child and she’s obviously delighted with him. However, I just do not care!

I think I’m suffering some sort of grown up fatigue, as everyone around me at the moment is either buying houses, getting married or popping sprogs. Although I’ve been with my boyfriend for ten years, I have no interest in getting married or having kids. This is very difficult for people to comprehend, and I’m constantly barraged with questions about when I’m getting hitched or knocked up. One charming person even said, ‘He can’t really love you if he’s not proposed to you!’ Quite frankly, I’m sick and bloody tired of it.

I think my friend having this baby is just the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m so tired about hearing about other people’s kids and wedding plans, I just can’t muster the enthusiasm required of me for these situations. So, answer me this: Am I a horrible person for not caring about this baby?

If you are, then you can join the legion of horrible people who email us similarly lamenting the onset of the new generation, especially when it shits up their Facebook feeds with countless photos of infants.

Happily for you, software has come to your rescue: is a Chrome plug-in that replaces baby photos on Facebook with pictures of other things.

I’ll let you know when they come up with a plug-in to block out mortgage- and marriage-chat.


One Response to “baby blockers”

  1. Marie Murray Says:

    Worst is when they bring the child in to work. There are two minutes of cooing, someone says, ” He/she ‘s just perfect” ” Look at the tiny fingers”, and ” Is he/she good?”. There is then a long period of awkwardness as everyone wishes the proud parent would feck off.

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