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Many of the world’s greatest minds have puzzled over Kelis’s ‘Milkshake‘ – people on Yahoo Answers, us in AMT237, and now Benji in Bristol:
I favour a literal interpretation of Kelis’s ‘Milkshake’; I think that she really is talking about actual milkshake. However, I have noticed something peculiar about the lyrics. Kelis bangs on and on about how good her milkshake is, but then she also keeps saying “La la la la la, warm it up”.
Warm milkshake? Yuck! Milkshake should of course be served cold. I’m beginning to suspect that her milkshake-making prowess might not be all it’s cracked up to be. Is it possible that the boys have some ulterior motive for coming to Kelis’s yard? I’d hazard a guess that what brings all the boys to the yard is not the prospect of a delicious, wholesome milkshake, but rather a desire to indulge in a spot of ogling. Kelis is, after all, a very attractive young lady.
Imagine a poor, somewhat plain-looking woman who wishes that all the boys would come to her yard, and in order to achieve this she forks out a load of money on milkshaking lessons from Kelis. She masters all the basic and advanced techniques for shaking milk. She then refines and improves upon Kelis’s original milkshake recipe, by keeping it cold and putting some whipped cream and a maraschino cherry on top. After all that time, effort and expense it must be terribly upsetting for her to see all the boys forsake her superior milkshake and avoid her yard. How it must enrage her to see those silly, sleazy boys sitting there, perving at Kelis while sipping their tepid, shoddy shakes.
What you’ve done there, Benji, is take the plot of Dreamgirls and reset it in the milkshaking industry. I like it. Have a two-page synopsis on my desk by Monday.
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