Facebook in-laws: friends or foes?



As if break-ups weren’t bad enough, Web 2.0 has to add to the pain. Pete from Somerset writes:

I recently broke up with my girlfriend of two and half years. She was my first long term relationship, and we both became quite involved in one another’s families, and added one another’s family, friends etc on Facebook.

Now that we have split up, I am unsure as to what the social protocol is when dealing with her family and friends, as I have become quite good mates with some of them, but I still feel awkward. So, answer me this: should I remove them all and hope they forget about me, or should I just leave it?

It somewhat depends upon how acrimonious the split was. If it fell at the Baldwin-Basinger end of the scale, there’s no point pretending that you and these people will ever be fraternising. Cull! Cull, before these people become weapons in the battle between you.

If, however, the break-up scored more towards the Cox-Arquette end, after a suitable amount of recovery time has elapsed, you and your ex might be friends yourselves, or at least civil enough to move in the same social circles. In this scenario, it would be unnecessary to destroy your cordial relationships with your newishfound friends, although you would have to be prepared for the possibility of photos of your ex and her new paramour appearing in your news feed.

Readers, what do you reckon? Tell us in the comments about how you still happily play Lexulous with your former mother-in-law; or, conversely, how your ex’s bestie got your account shut down after reporting your photos as offensive.


4 Responses to “Facebook in-laws: friends or foes?”

  1. Roj Says:

    I was with my ex-boyfriend for three and a half years. I adopted his younger sister as my own, and his mother was like my second mother. We broke up about a year ago, amicably, and we hardly speak…..

    ……. his sister still calls me big sis and we have live downton abbey text feeds, and I had a lovely voicemail from his mother yesterday. Our mutual friends are also still cool with us both although he withdrew from them a bit long before we broke up.

    I think it’s everybody’s choice in a way because it seems that they decieded that after all that time we had built our own relationships, independent from the romanceand everyone seemed to want to hold on. Also they live in Oxford and I live in London so it is easy not to get too close for comfort. I also admit that it is a bit weird that I have managed to “keep” his family. Basically, I think you should not be so sure that they would be willing to dismiss you because the relationship is over. You probably had your own connections with these people and they are likely just as attached to you and mature enough to be able to stay in touch with both of you. Man I’m long-winded. And late in replying.

  2. Easy Tiger Says:

    Just quit Facebook altogether. It’s a load of bollocks and it sounds like you have an opportunity to get on with life. Facebook friends are not real friends.

  3. Jan Says:

    As a mother-in-law I would be having the same awkward feelings as my daughters ex. I would probably message him that I’ll opt out of his page in order to respect his privacy but that I still wished him well and was interested in his well-being.

    You could let them know that you respect their daughter and value their friendship, but that your new life as a single man may cause them some angst and should be kept between yourself and your friends. Then maybe a couple of days later unfriend them.

  4. michelle montry Says:

    I still have my son’s girlfriend on my facebook.

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