Marriage of inconvenience

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Hot on the heels of last episode’s wedding-attending dilemma, here’s another from Jane in Wellington, New Zealand:

I’ve been invited to the wedding of my ex-partner (and father to my child) – should I go?

We split when my son was very young and I’ve done such a good job of being friendly and civil that he just expected that I’d be going… hence the invite to the reception.

I still get on well with the rest of the family, I even quite like the bride (although my ex is still a cock). Do I go and have a laugh and it be a bit weird, or steer well clear and disappoint my son?

I hope I’m not missing something, but what’s the problem here? Your relationship is cordial, and your ex appears to think well of you even though you don’t return his favour. Your attendance will make your son happy. You’ll see people you like. You don’t appear to harbour a wish to reunite with your ex, so are unlikely to elbow the bride out of the way at the critical point of the vows. So go!

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2 Responses to “Marriage of inconvenience”

  1. Anne Says:

    Yeah, I agree with Molly. If your son would feel much more comfortable with you there, or you think you’ll never hear the end of it otherwise, then go. But otherwise, consider it free babysitting and have a nice relaxing day elsewhere. You’re not obliged to accept any invitation- a polite “no” RSVP should be accepted gracefully.

  2. Molly Says:

    Ask your son if he wants you to come. My mum thought I wasnted her there, but when she asked me I made it very clear that it was already weird enough.

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