lovely bit of crumpet

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Following our ‘Flapjack=cake/biscuit?’ and ‘Pasty=pie/not pie?’ discussions of recent weeks, apparently food classification questions are a popular genre now! Beats me, but I do not wish to be disobliging so here’s another from Alistair in Germany:

My gorgeous girlfriend bought me a rare treat in Germany, a packet of crumpets. This raised a ‘cake or biscuit?’ question!!!

Answer me this, is a crumpet a cake, a biscuit, or even… a bread?

It’s OBVIOUSLY NOT a biscuit. What a ludicrous suggestion.

But although I’d count it as a bready product – insofar as it’s available in the supermarket bread aisle, I’d store it in the breadbin, top it with bread-compatible spreads, and consume it at breadtime – its batter-based composition precludes it from counting as bread. Therefore, if you insist upon being official about it, we should file crumpets in the ‘pancake’ category.

Now that this matter is settled, I hope you and your girlfriend find better avenues of conversation than this, else I fear for your future.

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