** Click here for Episode 171 **
Here’s a question from Adam in London, who does not want to be mistaken for all you other Adams from London. He says:
In episode 170 you talked about the other Martin Austwick that came up on Helen’s Twitter suggest list. This got me thinking about my name and other people with it.
My name is Adam Clifford. Unfortunately I share my name with a goofy looking American gay porn star. If you go to adamclifford.com (DON’T!) there he is in all his… Erm… Splendid glory. He also ‘proudly’ comes up on Google image searches for my name.
So, answer me this!
1) Is there anything I can do to get my name back for me from him or Google? If it was a Hollywood star then I wouldn’t mind, but a PORN STAR?! Obviously I’m worried about a potential employer googling me and being faced with this monstrosity, not giving me the job of my dreams or reporting me to the police. What can I do?
2) Why, as a porn star, would you use your own name? I’m assuming it’s his real name, I can’t imagine anyone choosing a name as bland as mine for sexy things. Couldn’t he just choose another name?
In answer to your first question, Adam, you clearly need to do something that will get you even more Google-juice than a porn star. This may take a while, though, and depending upon your chosen method, might be even more damaging to your employment prospects.
Secondly, many male porn actors do seem to go by normal names. Perhaps, like them, Adam Clifford feels no shame about his profession; perhaps, like them, Adam Clifford does not, like the rest of us, relish the opportunity to take a name containing the word ‘Donkey’ or ending in ‘xxxx’; perhaps, like them, Adam Clifford couldn’t ‘just choose another name’ because he has absolutely no imagination. He is a non-stop boffing-machine and nothing else.
Therefore I suggest to you, Adam Clifford (the SFW Adam Clifford), that instead YOU change your name. You say yourself that it is bland; well, release yourself from the too-many-Adam-Cliffords problem by going for something a little jazzier, ideally which will also impress potential employers at the same time. Captain Briefcase might work.
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Tags: prawn
Answer Me This! Podcast 
June 14, 2011 at 7:06 pm |
I love your response – and FYI I know Adam Clifford (we had sex a few times) and I can tell you that is definitely not his real name.
March 24, 2011 at 7:40 pm |
Either
(1) get over it
(2) stop googling your own name, Jesus…
(3) kill the other guy, it’ll be worth it for the headlines.
March 24, 2011 at 7:12 am |
I think it’s sad that Adam Clifford doesn’t think his name is sexy. It suggests low self-esteem. I would change it to something you find more sexy, if that’s the case. I suggest starting with Mills and Boon for inspiration, there are loads of crazy names in there.