** Click here for Episode 168 **
James from Portsmouth needs to take a cold shower:
I have a new flatmate who is very attractive and walks around the flat in nothing but his boxers. He also gets very protective if I ask him about his previous relationships.
The thing is that I seem to have fallen for him but I’m not sure if he’s gay, so can you tell me a good way to ask him without sounding like a idiot or scaring him off?
Since he’s being weirdly clammish about his romantic history, I can’t tell you a good way. But if he happened to return home while you were, say, watching a gentlemen’s movie in your communal living space, that would be bound to open up the channel of conversation at least. Readers, try to think up a classier method than this and instruct James in the comments, please.
A word of caution, though: even if he does turn out to be gay, it’s not a particularly good idea to put moves on people with whom you live. If he rejects your advances, there’ll be awkward moments forever after, as either of you exits the bathroom in a towel or brings a date home. If he accepts, well, you’re already living together, and not much puts the dampener on a brand-new source of sexyfun than cosy domesticity. Rowing over who forgot to put the milk back into the fridge overnight is rubbish foreplay.
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Answer Me This! Podcast 
March 6, 2011 at 12:20 pm |
Wise words from Dave O… if do, erm, throw him a bone and get no response, like he says you’ve misread the signals and should back right off. But – out of purely prurient interest – do let us know how the story ends!
March 3, 2011 at 6:04 pm |
I’d say stay clear. Sleeping with house mates always leads to problem. Have you never watched Teen Big Brother?.
Having said that: men are much better at separating sex and emotions than women. So maybe you should throw him a bone. Only go for it if you’re confident neither of you are likely to turn into bunny boilers. Yes, that’s right James it’s time to take a long hard look inside your self.
As for the seduction there’s only really one option. Get him drunk and start flirting. If he doesn’t respond well back off. No Really BACK OFF. But if he seems receptive go for it. If its a disaster you can always blame the drink. And if he isn’t interested don’t be a dick about afterwards.