she’s no friend of mine


** Click here for Episode 152 **

Tsch, women! Bloody women! I say that on behalf of Tom, who has emailed us with some girl trouble of the unromantic kind:

Basic Summary – I’ve known a girl for about 4 years and we have been pretty close friends. Going to the cinema and for meals together (don’t worry this isn’t some silly teenage romance question).

The summer holidays have finished and she is at a new school and she has met up with another group of people. I don’t have a problem with this but she is having a pool party around her house (she’s rich) and after 4 years of being very close friends she hasn’t invited me, but all these people she has just met are invited as well as some people who we both used to hang about together with, so this isn’t just for new people. Admittedly I’m not the biggest party person but I have a good time, I don’t go over the top or anything or cause a problem.

I was talking to some of her friends who I’m close to and who have been invited. They say she only has a certain amount of people that can come, but that’s complete shit her house is massive and it’s only one more person. These friends think its ridiculous I’m not invited but I don’t even care anymore (as you can tell from this angry email).

I want to know what I should do????

Confront her? Ignore her? Try to maintain a friendship (not that I particularly want to now). I’m so confused.

Understandably so, Tom. Even if she ever gives you an explanation, it’s unlikely to be one which makes you any happier; so we recommend you cut your losses and fraternise with rather more inclusive friends. Even if they don’t have their own pools.

But readers, what would you recommend? Tell Tom your comforts or conspiracy theories in the comments.

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9 Responses to “she’s no friend of mine”

  1. Matt Hornsby Says:

    It seems to me that the friendship is not going to be the same regardless. So why not just confront her. It seems you have nothing to loose. It could be generally an oversite on her behalf. If it is due to you in any way then you may beable to sort the problem out.

  2. Margot Says:

    I’m loving a combo of the advice so far…….shag her, shit in the pool, tell her to fuck off and then ask yourself if you are a shitty friend.

    If the answer if No. Go back and shit in her pool again.

    If the answer is yes…….shit in her pool while shagging her to reinforce your crappyness.

  3. Olibob Says:

    Whell, roughly the same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago… Here’s how it went down. As you said, I have a really close female friend with whom I’ve shared many a good long walk / talk etc. I thought that everything was going hunky-dory with her, but then she suddenly started drifting away, talking to me less and eventually didn’t invite me to her birthday party.

    I was, as I’m sure you are now, quite distressed to learn this. Now how I responded (quite immaturely I might add) was to post a snotty witty comment on her facebook. This was noooooot great…. I got a torrent of abuse from her friends as well as mine. Sad times! Anyway, the friend in question then herself sent me a torrent of abuse.

    On top of that she sent me an essay on why she hadn’t invited me. Basically she thought that I’d just been a rubbish friend to her on all sides, what with selfishness and one-sided relationships and all. And you know what? I sat and reminisced on those last few weeks and realised that it was all true! So, point of this lecture is that it may not be her, it might be you. So I would take a long hard look in the metaphorical mirror if I were you, just in case…

    • Olibob Says:

      Ohhh yeah and I forgot to mention that we’ve made up since then so it can’t all be doom and gloom, you can still walk away friends again.

  4. Rebecca Says:

    Shit in the pool. Party ruined for everyone!

  5. helen Says:

    Ive experienced selfish bitchcow friends recently so maybe im a bit biased. But, i think you need to thing about the relationship you have with this person. Is it equally supportive? If not then youre not friends. Youre just a person who makes another person feel nice and theyre a shiney object able to reflect niceness back at you. If you needed them would they be there? I’m thinking not. Could you call them in the middle of the night crying? If not then screw the party, theyre not your friends. Go out on your own and have fun. keep looking, friends arent solidified at specific ages, just because you havent found the people who treat you like you should be treated doesnt mean theyre not out there.

  6. Davey Says:

    Shag her. What?

  7. Djs Says:

    Tell her to f*ck right off?

  8. Roz Says:

    I’d be tempted to confront her, although I doubt it’ll make the situation any better. Is it possible that there is someone else going who you don’t get on with, or she thinks you won’t get on with, or someone who has some kind of problem with you? Maybe she’s trying to keep you away from someone. That’s the only possible ‘good’ reason I can think she might have so it’s possible your friendship could be okay …
    If you’ve accepted the friendship is over you’ve got nothing to lose by asking, unless you really want to avoid the confrontation.

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