Answer Me This! Podcast

We’re back on October 7th. Click here to catch up!

Since we’ve been away, you lot seem to be getting yourself into all sorts of romantic pickles. Let’s race through a few of them in order of difficulty, and if you think you can help, post your advice in the comments.

First up, Roxanne:

I’m moving from Somerset to London for uni at the end of September, which will be one bitch of a commute every weekend to see my boyfriend (hello Ferdi). He doesn’t like the idea of phones because ‘people can track you with them’ and they’re a bit of a teen fad, but I think for a 150-mile long-distance relationship it might be a necessity. So answer me this: how do you convince someone who hates mobile phones to buy a phone?

Well, Roxanne, you could buy him a phone as a present; but from the little you’ve told us about him, you’d be better off buying him a tinfoil hat and Gene Hackman’s room from The Conversation so that none of those pesky phone companies can READ HIS THOUGHTS. Alternatively, he doesn’t want to be tracked because he’s on the witness protection programme, in which case, leave him alone. Next, Emily in Worcester:

To sleep with my best friend’s brother or no? Basically I want to and so does he, but we are forbidden by my best friend of 8 years. Is she being unreasonable, or is this a justifiable reaction to the sexual activities of her older brother and best friend?

A bit of both. There’s power play, in her forcing you to show that you both value her more highly than you do each other; on the other hand, she doesn’t want to play third wheel to a nauseating new couple. Either way, she’ll be a bit grossed out at the idea of her brother in sexual congress.

Now it’s time for Rochelle from Manchester, who presumes we don’t know what Barbados is but that we do know all about how to solve priapism:

I have a boyfriend from Barbados, it’s an island in the Caribbean, he’s a really awesome guy and everything but there’s just one problem (some might not call it one): he is very demanding when it comes to sex, almost insatiable. And he’s always thinking or talking about it. I told my friends and they say he’s probably a Don Juan.
Please answer me this: what exactly is this, and what should I do?

What you should do is stop showing off.

Finally, a question from Dy from Maryland:

A friend of mine, due to some “youthful indiscretions”, has 5 children by 2 mothers. After his last 2 kids were born within 27 days of each other he wisely decided to have a vasectomy since he knows that he can’t keep it in his pants and couldn’t afford any more kids. So answer me this: if his pipes aren’t connected anymore, what comes out when he “comes”? I haven’t gotten up the nerve to ask him and feel like asking you is much less embarrassing for both of us.

He sounds like the kind of man whose sense of shame would have necessarily evaporated some time ago. Ask him, then please report back to us so we all learn something.

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This entry was posted on September 23, 2010 at 11:06 pm and is filed under extracurricular questions, User-generated answers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.