If you’re having girl problems I feel bad for you, son

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** Click here for Episode 147 **

Poor ‘Anonymous’ is having lady trouble. No, I don’t mean period pains – the other kind of lady trouble. He says:

Right, here’s the situation:

I went to the USA for two weeks, leaving my girlfriend and (male) best friend (or ex best friend…) in Wales. They, whilst being close to me, are also very close to each other, but I’m pretty sure there is nothing sexual about their relationship, even though I have taken jokes about them having ‘an affair’ for the entire year and a half she and I have been together. However, I learnt when I returned from the US that they had spent a lot of time together. And I mean A LOT. I also found out they’d been getting drunk (and stoned or whatever) together, going to London together, and sharing a bed (which was at one point a double bed in their own flat in London), “just as friends”. She also ended up sharing a bed with three other guys.

I am apparently entirely at fault for finding any problem with this, but everyone I’ve spoken to that ISN’T her (or him; we haven’t spoken since I got back) completely sees where I can find problems with this. So here is the question that I pose to thee:

WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?

Start keeping an assortment of girls in your bed. If that doesn’t invoke her jealousy, at least it’ll cheer you up. Anyway, count yourself lucky, compared to our next emailer:

I have just got back from reading festival, and while the music was amazing I can’t help but feel a little bit put out about the behaviour of my girlfriend over the weekend.

On the first night while I was watching Guns’N’Roses she said she felt tired and went back the tent. It later turned out that she in fact went back and had sex with my best friend in my own tent. However she was pretty drunk that night so I forgave her, but just two nights later I came back to my tent and found her having a threesome with two random people she had met at the festival.

This leads me to my question: answer me this… should I forgive my girlfriend again?

Don’t bother. She’ll be too busy banging to notice.

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One Response to “If you’re having girl problems I feel bad for you, son”

  1. Aus's avatar Aus Says:

    Are these people fucking real. What the absolute fuck?

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