Well, son, when a man and a lady love each other very very much…

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** Click here to listen to Episode 141 **

Blush on behalf of Dave in Doncaster:

While recently checking through the Internet history on my 12-year-old son’s laptop, I found he had been searching for “willy in pussy” and other various lewd entries…

He has completed his sex education class at school, so as a responsible father do I need to go through the whole “birds and the bees” malarky again? Also how old were you when you found about how babies are made and did your parents bring up the subject?

Determined listeners may, if they so wish, piece together the history of our sex education through the podcasts; so instead, readers, please tell us instead about your own enlightenment in the comments. Perhaps Dave in Doncaster can borrow some of your parents’ chosen techniques when he gets round to giving his son a birds’n’bees refresher course, because he’s not ready to be a grandfather just yet.

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8 Responses to “Well, son, when a man and a lady love each other very very much…”

  1. Lo Says:

    Agree that he’s probably just looking for porn. But instead of the awkward birds and the bees talk (as he probably already knows how sex works judging from his google entry) just sit him down and say very sternly “Girls have diseases you can’t even see, if you don’t wear a condom your penis will become infected and no girl will ever have sex with you again. Also if you don’t wear a condom, she will get pregnant, full stop.” Then just walk away and never talk about it again. He’s going to have sex anyway at least this way you won’t end up sheltering your clap-ridden teenager and his baby mamma.

  2. Catherine Says:

    He’s 12. He’s not looking for sex education information, he’s looking for porn. Don’t be naive, Dad!

  3. Ryan Says:

    Well, I’m 14 so I can’t really give any advice, since I’m not a parent. But I don’t Google that stuff, so my parents have never had that problem.

  4. Alice Hawash Says:

    I have 2 young children (6 and 4) and recently had a 3rd baby. I am generally in favour of answering their sex-related questions truthfully, but minimally. Unsurprisingly they had a lot of questions while I was pregnant, and I thought I dealt with them OK. However I was recently quite alarmed by the following conversation with my 4 year old:

    Him: I wish I could have a baby like that (looking at a photo)
    Me: Well maybe you will when you’re grown up.
    Him: Yes, and I’ll put my willy in your tummy then my poo will come out and then you’ll have a baby.

    Pretty sure that’s NOT what I said!

    • catherinehirst Says:

      Ha! That’s hilarious.

      When I was little, one of my friends told me quite seriously that the man has to put his thing into your belly button to make a baby. I could not understand how my belly button was meant to accommodate that!

  5. Tim Says:

    There’s no need to bother as he’s just pissing about. It’s fairly obvious that he isn’t really going to have sex if he uses ‘willy’.
    Also surely you can remember that at that age there is nothing more hilarious than genitalia.

    You have nothing to worry about Dave

  6. bork Says:

    “When I was your age, son, I had to masturbate to department store catalogs.”

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