Lie back and think of England

Like many of you, I imagine, I didn’t particularly want to hear Olly answer the following question from Johnny from Bromsgrove:

What strategies do you employ to “keep the wolf from the door” (as Alan Partridge would say) when enjoying a loving moment?

When giving me a hand job, my girlfriend says “peekaboo” on the downstroke, which does the job for me.

A vivid glimpse into the private lives of people I’ve never met; thanks Johnny. What an image. Readers, if any of you feel compelled to share your own anti-ejaculant thoughts, you’re welcome to do so in the comments. Personally I’m surprised reference to Alan Partridge doesn’t do the trick.

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This entry was posted on May 17, 2010 at 10:42 pm and is filed under extracurricular questions, User-generated answers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

8 Responses to “Lie back and think of England”

Dave F-T Says:
June 2, 2010 at 5:32 am | Reply
I think of the inside of my mother’s vagina. Or her pulling it open as if she was in a porn magazine.

This works.
Keith Says:
May 21, 2010 at 9:59 am | Reply
Imagine how good her Dad would be at giving you the same blowjob….
Easy Tiger Says:
May 21, 2010 at 9:14 am | Reply
Recall the junctions of the M1 or other motorway that you know well
Ahem Says:
May 19, 2010 at 12:42 pm | Reply
Count backwards from 500 in 3s or 7s. Just don’t let her see your lips move.
Shaun Says:
May 19, 2010 at 12:29 pm | Reply
Think of unsexy things… think of sexy things… unsexy things… think of sexy things… unsexy things… think of sexy things… unsexy things… think of sexy things… repeat until climax is inevitable.
Finlay Says:
May 19, 2010 at 11:49 am | Reply
I find that Austin Powers’ method works quite well…
MARGARET THATCHER NAKED ON A COLD DAY!
MARGARET THATCHER NAKED ON A COLD DAY!
Alright Dave Says:
May 19, 2010 at 11:47 am | Reply
I like to imagine a group of children watching dispassionately. If that doesn’t work I trying hysterically crying.
alex Says:
May 18, 2010 at 3:30 pm | Reply
-Needle in the scrotum
-Vinegar in the eyes