Ian from Florida seeks Jewish princess


As you will hear in Episode 134, we tried to help out Ian from Florida, who says he is bombing on JDate.

Using the fruits of your combined romantic wisdom, can you tell him why? Check out Ian’s profile HERE, then head to the comments on this post to give him constructive advice to find the girl of his dreams. Be pithy, be useful, be kind: Ian seems a very pleasant young man, and we’re keen to help him find a ladyfriend, so any meanies will feel our wrath.

Subscribe with iTunesListen to episodesQuestion ArchiveFAQ
FacebookTwitterMerch SuperstoreYouTube Channel

18 Responses to “Ian from Florida seeks Jewish princess”

  1. pete from somerset Says:

    Ian, have you managed to get yourself swimming in lady jew love thanks to the listeners advice? I hope you have!

  2. Gwan Says:

    Just listened to the podcast, I can see you’ve already made some changes… um, plus you said you did in the post right below this one. Anyway, definitely get rid of the beach photo, totally looks like you’ve photoshopped your head onto someone else’s body. The one in the car is cute though! I wouldn’t say you like video games *and* nerding out on the computer. There’s nothing more effing boring than watching someone do either of those activities, and if you end up in a relationship with a guy with these interests, we ladies know you *will* end up tapping your feet while he and his mates go ‘just 10 more minutes/just to the end of this level and then we’ll leave’ for hours at a time. So if you must mention it at all, only one of them!
    I can’t remember what your height was so unsure if you’ve already bumped it up, but I might add a couple more pounds on as well if I were you. Personally, I like skinny guys, but no girl wants to worry she’s outweighing her boyfriend…
    Other than that, I’d say you’re all set to sit back and watch the dates roll in… Good luck!

    • Ian from FL Says:

      For that picture, actually I photoshopped my head onto my own body because I was blinking in the original. 😦 Hopefully I’ll get to the beach this upcoming weekend, though, so I can replace it with a proper picture!

  3. Ian from FL Says:

    Thanks again for the inputs; I updated the profile, it’s a lot shorter, hopefully not missing any crucial information. I again resisted the urge to put dancing like a robot as a favorite activity; it’s more of a second-date thing anyway. I’m trying to get a hold of a few pictures to put up/replace, but the last one I uploaded was deleted for being ‘blurry,’ which I mean, what do you expect when a drunk friend snaps a shot at a bar in Key West at 2 am?

  4. Stef Says:

    You should tweak your profile a bit and add some pics of you with friends. But don’t lie or post stuff that doesn’t represent you because at the end of the day, you want someone who likes the person you are and not someone you have to pretend around…

  5. Dana Says:

    Ok, so I saw this, had to answer, am Jewish (Israeli), am woman, am therefore qualified.
    So firstly, yes, the awkward silence thing is odd, and yes, those pictures of you all have a slightly staged and none involve other people. All of the above=bad idea. If you’re on Jdate put a picture of yourself from a wedding, with a kippa, it’s more attractive (it would also go some ways to explain why you’re on there in the first place, even if it is a goyish shiksa that you’re after!)
    What struck me the most is the fact you asked people to get in touch with you, TWICE, and that reeked a little of desperation (that sounds cruel, but considering you’re Jewish, your mother must have said worse.)

    Anyway, the hot Jewish ladies are far and few between and those are pretty much the only ones on Jdate, I would go for match.com and just say you’re Jewish on there, if nothing else there’s just more choice on there. Think about it like a Waitrose or a massive Asda, the premium stuff isn’t quite as good, but it’s good enough.


  6. Robotgirl Says:

    Ilu Ian! <333

  7. spanther22 Says:

    put a sock down your jeans – your profile pic has no bulge – ladies love bulge
    plus you are in your late 20s (i think, i cant remember and if i try to go back they just want me to sign up – is this a viral ad?) pretty soon the tide will turn and you wont need to do any chasing, you’ll be the chased. seriously once in your 30s women are throwing themselves at you so much. im an ugly unsuccessful rude misanthropic twat and i had to work HARD for any action in my 20s. now i cant move for flange (did i saw misogynistic too?) to be honest if you dont need someone to pay half the rent/bills get your self a dog instead. oh and women are like mobile phones, dont tie yourself down to a lengthy contract when you can get a pay as you go.
    if you need any more relationship advice just ask.

  8. Ian Says:

    Well, thank you all for the replies so far, and to the AMT team for their scathing criticisms as well! Actually, I was shocked and embarrassed for several hours after listening to today’s episode; I wasn’t expecting to be answered, and I certainly wasn’t expecting serious advice, but I’m glad to have it.

    For the sake of clarity, I am not specifically looking for a Jewish woman, I’m actually just looking for ladies who are looking for a Jewish man, if that makes sense. My friends also hinted that I would have some horrible dates that would lead to great stories to tell them.

    I’ll try to get my profile updated by Friday evening; some co-workers and I were at a bar last night and many pictures were taken… now I just need to track down the camera.

    Thanks again!

  9. Megan Says:

    If only I wasn’t a gentile…
    Add some more fun things, like food likes / dislikes, TV and film choices, and happy dating 😀

  10. Rhys from Bridgend Says:

    If the page says you have to create an account, google search ‘jdate ninjasandpuppies’ and click cached. Ian is quite an attractive bloke, so saying you’re taller can only do favours. Keep beard pics, you look better in them. Personal first, work later. Talk about work for like, two sentences at the most! Describe your interests, not briefly, but vaguely. This will make people want to know more. This could then become a conversational topic on a date and will start to interest people. Possibly change username? NinjasNPuppies? No, do like ‘Ian123’. It seems childish otherwise. Get rid of any captions and have only 2 pics of you on your own. Add some pics of you with a mix of guys and girls, so you don’t seem like a laddish bloke or two girly. You’re not to busy for a dog, you ‘Love dogs, but I love cats just as much and so I currently have 2’. Not comedy central (too teeny). You ‘Love all films, but I love a cheesy action film too’. Don’t be getting back into exercise, ‘Exercising, especially martial arts is a passion’. I think you should keep the obscure reference thing in, just keep out the ‘(whether or not they actually are)’ and slip in you add the occasional funny reference. It purveys intelligence, but not nerdy (Aware/interested in culture, if you will).

    It seems very formal, like a CV. Drop the occasional ‘ and say stuff like ‘i’m shy-ish’ so it seems informal. Colloquial language is your friend. Good luck.

  11. Nicky from London Says:

    Oh no, I just looked at Ian’s profile once, navigated away, and now JDate is trying to sign me up. I’m only half Jewish, am I even allowed?

    From what I remember from my fleeting glimpse of Ian’s profile, it does just sound a bit like a covering letter applying for a job. Maybe start with things you enjoy doing, and definitely drop the bit about awkward silences…

  12. Linda in Glasgow Says:

    Ian, my love, cut all the education crap. I was bored by the end of the first sentence. Nobody really cares how exciting you find your research. Not yet, anyway.

    Also, I wouldn’t say you don’t have time for a dog. If you can’t fit a dog into your life how are you going to have time for a girlfriend? I would suggest leaving out what TV programmes, etc., you watch as well. That says a lot about someone and you may be giving off the wrong message.

    Keep it light. 😉

  13. Joe-Joe Says:

    Er, I meant Olly with a Y. Sorry Olly!

  14. Joe-Joe Says:

    One thing that I thought Ollie might have got was that he seems to be ‘dissing’ cats. I’d say that a good half of the population are cat lovers, and his comments seem to make it seem that whilst he likes animals, he really isn’t that bothered about his feline flatmates. As someone who prefers cats to dogs (but likes both), I would be put off by that. I know it seems small, but it may be more important than he thinks. Good luck, though! 🙂

    • helenzaltzman Says:

      are you crazy? Olly loves his cat more than any person loves anything! It’s actually embarrassing to be in the same room as them.

      • Joe-Joe Says:

        Ah, sorry, misplaced pronoun. By ‘he’ I meant Ian. It’s pretty clear from the podcast how much Olly loves his cat, and I feel the same way about mine. Anyway, thanks for the reply, and congratulations on the various bits of good news you’ve had of late!

Answer us back:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: