Stomp!

by

** Click here for Episode 131 **

Watch out, everybody! There’s another volcano erupting, but this one is unlikely to leave the European airline industry in tatters. However, weird noisy West End shows are not going to escape the blast from Steve in Cheltenham:

re Episode 131 theme tune: “Who the hell is still buying tickets to Stomp?”
Can I just say, fuck me, this should be the big news story, bigger than the elections.

I’ve hated Stomp all my life, everything they stand for, their unoriginal art of making music accessible to bundles of tramps and the unemployed. Anyone who bangs spoons on a radiator for a living is a twat in my opinion, get a real fucking job.

It’s as if Stomp has tapped into a dormant Neanderthal gene, the one that used to drive us to make hideous dins perhaps to ward off sabre-toothed cats, but evolution said sabre-toothed cats love drum and bass; you dickwads are better off making sharp pointy things to throw at the cats instead of enticing them into your drum circle like it’s a drug-fuelled rave.

Now, if Stomp were a nomadic cartload of chimpanzees who had created this method of music in order to exchange its audience for food, then
fine, I’d endure five quid’s-worth on a seasonal basis just to see the chimps smile again as they tuck into corn husks and half-apples.

Kaboom! Watch Steve go!

I’ve never seen Stomp, but I can’t pretend it has ever affected my life in any way, ever. I think Steve might – might – be overreacting. However I’m afraid to tell him that for fear of setting off a pyroclastic flow of rage that sweeps eastwards from Cheltenham to wipe out Crystal Palace.

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One Response to “Stomp!”

  1. Louise Says:

    He’s not overreacting. It’s fucking awful.

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