** Click here for Episode 129 **
Last week, we asked you to think up responsible revenges which Ky from Harrogate could exact on his Paypal hacker. Click here to read what you lot thought up. It’s not a very responsible-looking list, is it? What with all the beating, shooting, kicking and anthrax spores… And Sondra from San Francisco hasn’t raised the threshold of savouriness any further with her email:
As the middle child of five, I often found myself as the focus of unwarranted blame. At the tender age of three, my mother accused me of spilling a brand-new box of Cheerios all over the kitchen floor when I TOTALLY DIDN’T. It was my evil older brother, I swear!!! Well, that evening I wasn’t allowed ice cream, but my brother was. Thus, the plot thickens.
In the dead of night on that vengeful Tuesday, I popped a squat in my mother’s closet and dropped a hearty deuce in the left counterpart of her most comfortable shoes. She learned of this stinky bit of fun when she put these shoes on just a few hours later, making her very late for work.
Oh, yeah, and I beheaded my brother’s Teddy.
Denizens of San Francisco, do NOT cross Shondra, unless you want to be pursued around the Bay Area by the words of Paul Calf, “You’ve got shit shoes on, you shitty-shoed bastard.”
UPDATE: Another ‘responsible revenge’ story, this time from Mark from Nottingham. It’s an epic, so settle yourself down with a cereal bar and set to:
A housemate of mine wanted a better stereo, some proper separates ideally, and knowing I was into that sort of stuff and had bought mine from Ebay, asked me track down the best stuff I could for absolute minimum cost. Sure enough, on ebay I found a good ten-year-old Technics CD player; no picture of it, but it was described as good condition and working. So I took a chance and won it for the princely sum of £2.20 plus £7 for postage and packaging and immediately paid for it.
About a week later I wrote a polite email to the vendor to see if he had posted it. Another week later I still hadn’t heard anything so I emailed him to check he’d got my first email and to check he’d got the payment and everything was ok. Three weeks later, still no reply, so I emailed him again. Twenty-seven days later, the CD player arrived, thrown into a bin bag with nothing to protect it and consequently now had a big fist-sized dent in the top.
I emailed the vendor through Ebay to tell him that it had arrived and that I wasn’t particularly happy with the fact it had taken nearly a month to arrive and that he had taken no precaution to protect it and was now damaged. However as it cost me next to nothing I’d just push the dent out and wouldn’t bother returning it. But I would leave him bad feedback for the his poor communication and lack of packaging.
Suddenly the guy started sending me a tirade of abusive emails and asking what my problem was – he in turn left me bad feedback! Eventually we both agreed to withdraw our feedback and that was that.
Or so he thought… Because the one thing he had bothered to do when he shoved the CD player into the bin bag was attach his home address and email to the outside. I then spent an afternoon visiting all kinds of gay porn sites and weird, kinky bondage sites and ordering every free catalogue and signing up for every mailing list I could find using his address.
If you enjoyed that story, ask Olly to tell you the saga of his iPhone case off eBay. It’s the Marathon des Sables of anecdotes.
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Answer Me This! Podcast 
April 7, 2010 at 5:01 pm |
Um , crapping in my mums shoe may not be the first method of revenge that comes to mind , but each to their own . Whilst working at a generic pizza provider a particularly vile member of the public saw fit to express his unhappiness at waiting for his pizza to us the kitchen staff . His outburst was matched by an outburst from each chefs balls in his stuffed crust . Which he ate . This is not responsible , but a more responsible revenge to the pay pal hacker could be to write them a jolly stern letter , and not be their friend in real life or face book . Even if they say sorry and everything .
April 8, 2010 at 12:21 pm |
Urgh. I think that f***ing with people’s food should carry a prison term and a ban from ever working in or owning any business that deals with food … and preferably a ban from working in the health or education sectors, too. Yuck!