** Click here for Episode 111 **
Here’s a bawdy tale courtesy of Rachael from Clerkenwell:
After a work trip to Amsterdam a female colleague described to my boyfriend a live sex show that she’d seen.
Having embarked upon the anecdote, she faltered on realising that their working relationship was relatively formal such as to preclude the use of “sexual swearwords” and the story culminated in describing her boss pulling a long ribbon out the performer’s vagina.
After a moment’s pause to consider the full spectrum of possible euphemisms, she went with ‘flower’, perhaps the most incongruous word she might have picked to describe the lurid act.
Answer me this: have you heard any more ludicrous words used to describe a lady’s furry front bottom than a ‘flower’?
Yes we have, but we have used more than enough whimsical genitalia euphemisms in the podcast, so it seems to me that this is one for you, readers. Got anything stranger than mimsy, flange or botticelli? Comment below!
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Answer Me This! Podcast 
October 13, 2009 at 12:59 pm |
I like roy chubby browns, Split Arse, or Axe wound
October 12, 2009 at 4:34 pm |
Vajayjay was one I head once… I like the sound of it 🙂
October 8, 2009 at 7:05 pm |
Here’s some *cough* beautiful examples I stole from Urban Dictionary. My favourite, if I had to choose (eurgh) would have to be either “tongue depressor” or prehaps “verticle bacon sandwich”. Hmm… there’s some interesting people on the internet. By which I probably mean Disturbed People.. =)
“copher, cunt, pussy, twat, cooter, beaver, fish lips, taco, camel toe, muff, snatch, fuck hole, garage, oven, love button, penis glove, cock sock, cock pocket, JJ, hoohah, bajingo, cum dumpster, sperm bottle, goop chute, slit, trim, quim, pooter, love rug, poontang, poonanie, cooch, tunnel of love, vertical bacon sandwich, bearded clam, cookie, cooleyhopper, nookie, the pink, honey pot, cunny, vag, meat curtains, hatchet wound, putz, fur burger, box, front bottom, gash, kebab, kitty, minge, snapper, catfish, vertical smile, lovebox, love canal, nana, flower, the cum dump, chocha, black hole, sperm sucker, fish sandwich, cock warmer, whisker biscuit, carpet, deep socket, cum craver, cock squeezer, slice of heaven, flesh cavern, the great divide, cherry, tongue depressor, clit slit,laps, fuzz box, fuzzy wuzzy, glory hole, grumble, man in the boat, mud flaps, mound, peach, piss flaps, the fish flap, he furry cup, stench-trench, wizard’s sleeve, DNA dumpster, tuna town, split dick, bikini bizkit, cock holster, cockpit, snooch, kitty kat, poody tat, grassy knoll, cold cut combo, Jewel box, rosebud, curly curtains, furry furnace, slop hole, velcro love triangle, nether lips, where Uncle’s doodle goes, altar of love, cupid’s cupboard, bird’s nest, bucket, cock-chafer, love glove, serpent socket, spunk-pot, hairy doughnut, fun hatch, spasm chasm, red lane, stinky speedway, bacon hole, belly entrance, sugar basin, sweet briar”
If you had the patience to read all those charming extracts, Rachael, then well done you!
October 8, 2009 at 6:39 pm |
Gash
October 8, 2009 at 4:52 pm |
george bush
October 8, 2009 at 4:42 pm |
Clunge?
October 8, 2009 at 3:18 pm |
Perhaps the lady in question was of Italian-extraction?
I have heard that it is common for Italian women to use the word “fiorella” in this context, literally translating as “little flower”…
October 8, 2009 at 1:15 pm |
Two of my favourites from days gone by;
‘juicer’, the derivation being a pun on the northern ‘meet you in the juicer’ to rendezvous in the pub, to ‘meat her in the juicer’ (eg, ‘cor, I’d meat her in the juicer’ being somewhat more lurid, but containing 2 euphemisms a bad pun in one handy phrase!
‘Jemima’ I like as is vaguely recalls ‘vagina’. But I think is hopelessly inapt if you remember the character of that name from Play School
October 7, 2009 at 9:11 pm |
When describing a particular waxing experience in a outdoor restaurant, I used “business” to describe the area. Which of course led the conversation to coming up with business-related phrases… small business owner, open for business, big business, business meeting… the list goes on and on!
October 7, 2009 at 4:48 pm |
Ahahahahaha, the random related episodes generator has thrown up ‘Has anyone seen my pus water?’
Well it made me laugh.
October 7, 2009 at 4:19 pm |
I like @emmak67 (TVs Emma Kennedy’s use of the work Klacker. makes me laugh every time
October 7, 2009 at 4:09 pm |
My current favourite is fanjo.
An old chum used to use the term ‘tweet’ to describe ladybits. Puts a somewhat different perspective on the popular status updating website.
October 7, 2009 at 3:47 pm |
A guy at school used to call it a “fanjeeta”
I couldn’t eat fajitas for ages because it sounded too similar!
October 7, 2009 at 3:47 pm |
I will always have a soft spot for the 90’s mens mag favourite “snatch” due to the image of something slightly grabby it evokes
October 7, 2009 at 3:28 pm |
Toot toot- I seem to remember
However I do think “Front Bottom” is maybe the most ridiculous. Apart from location, there are very few other similarities (with one notable exception)
October 7, 2009 at 2:56 pm |
I think ‘froufrou’ as used by my mother is pretty odd, particularly as it is now the name of an avante-garde pop band whose name I cannot utter without a sense of wrongness.
At the other end of the spectrum I had a male friend who was touchy about me using the phrase ‘nether regions’ in moments of ardour. Slightly too Victorian for him, one assumes.
October 7, 2009 at 2:28 pm |
Man in our village refers to it as the ‘gearbox’.
October 7, 2009 at 2:20 pm |
Shereen Nanjiani.