Our day-jobs: one of the great modern mysteries

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The lovely Sarah from Gaytown has sent us a real poser, trying to annihilate that air of mystery we’ve so carefully cultivated:

What do y’all do during the day?
I imagine Martin being a jazz club music manager.
Olly being that lovely guy that goes around offices with a cart making people smile and giving them mail whilst whistling a happy tune.
Helen working in one of those spectacular, well lit – but slightly [but perfectly] dusty, hippy bakery and smiling all day.
I know that’s [probably] not true, but I am quite curious.

Indeed it isn’t true, but it’s a sight more interesting than the truth; and duly, we would also be interested to hear what the rest of you think we do all day, so please leave a comment with your thoughts on the matter.

Or, if you work as a careers adviser, perhaps you could suggest some pertinent avenues we could explore in the event that this talky stuff doesn’t work out.

7 Responses to “Our day-jobs: one of the great modern mysteries”

  1. Lew Says:

    I think Martin is a secondary-school woodwork teacher, Helen is a primary-school teacher (Miss Zaltzman does the podcast because she likes to let her hair down, take off her cardie and have a good swear in the evening), and Olly is still working on his PhD in something, but has lost interest and spends most of the day thinking up material for the podcast.

  2. Kevin D (Scotland) Says:

    Sorry to blow your cover here guys.

    They are all dedicated servants of the “”Agency of the Swastika”. Their mission is to infiltrate the UK (and Luxembourg) podcast scene and put forward their fascist agenda in the form of light hearted question based banter.

    What you don’t realise is if you play the jingles backwords there is subliminal messages telling you to hate gypsies. Also the reason Martin has the booming echo in his voice is so you can’t here Helen and Olly chanting under their breath every time he speaks:

    “Nazis are good, Nazis are great, Come join the Nazis, as long as you’re straight”

  3. Graham from Canada Says:

    well i know what martin does (pay attention) i think helen works for a big publishing company (part time, i imagine, most likeley from home) and olly is an industrial corperate hitman, stephen hawking was a failed hit.

  4. roo Says:

    helen is a science journalist – not for New Scientist or Nature or anything cool like that, probably ‘Particle Physics Review’ or similar. endless days of stringing out 800 words on the ‘Immature Proton Generation Conference at UAE’

    Olly is probably between jobs since the judge passed the restraining order preventing him from going within 250 yards of the day care centre he used to work at.

    Martin works in Richer Sounds, but this time next year he’ll have jacked it in and be knee deep in groupies as his band goes on a world tour to promote the number one album. Same plans as last year, and the year before that and for quite a few years before that.

    am i warm?

  5. Steve Mason Says:

    I believe that Olly is a technical consultant for the media. Explaining the way computers work or new technological gadgets that come along.

    Martin is a musician and has a band.

    And Helen…Helen seems to me to be some kind of journalist.

    thanks and keep up the good work

  6. Peter Says:

    haha jobs? dont make me laugh.. Anyway what with researching for the brilliant podcast you couldn’t possibly have a job..

  7. Helen from Melbourne (who's British!) Says:

    Now then, I think Olly works in the Royal Mail call centre… chirping away, listening to complaints about missing packages and the ever-increasing rise in postage costs and why oh why all the letter boxes now have smaller gaps so that thick envelopes don’t fit. He happily gives out books of 12 first class stamps to all and sundry, producing a little ray of sunshine in everyone’s lives.

    Helen, being of hermit nature, works from home, assembling something or other for 30p per finished piece. She was naturally quite sceptical about the ‘Earn Fast Cash Now from Home’ sign on the lamp-post at the traffic lights, but quickly realised it was enough to keep her in teabags and ensure she can watch Jeremy Kyle all day from the safety of her couch.

    Martin is a highly paid physicist. He does experiments.

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