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It’s harvest time! Which means it’s the start of the new educational year. Which means it is time for this question from Lauren from Kidderminster:
I managed to get into the university of my choice, but now I am panicking about Freshers Week.
A week of non-stop partying sounds like hell. I am very shy, hate dancing and don’t see the point in spending all my money on getting drunk and making a fool of myself on the dancefloor.
I’m not an anti-social person, it’s just that partying isn’t really my idea of fun.
Please help, how did you survive Freshers week at your university?
As a non-drinking square? I kept a massive supply of crumpets in my room, so rather than submitting myself to the full clubbing experience, instead made friends with people once they returned from their night at the fleshpots and were hungry for toasted snacks. (Also I had three essays to write in the first week, so couldn’t have gone out even if I had wanted to.)
But readers, I’m sure you have crumpet-free techniques which Lauren could adapt. Go forth to the comments and share.
Answer Me This! Podcast 
September 23, 2012 at 10:14 pm |
Out of balance, given this is the worlds most responsible podcast:
Going to University is the time you break free of who you were at school, and who you are in with your parents. You get to define who you are.
I take it being ‘shy’ means you are probably a really nice person. I am sure I would like you. But being shy is a little like being depressed (I am not saying it is the same thing – only in as much as…) quite a lot of depressed people are comfortable with their depression. It defines their borders, they know what to expect and they stay depressed because of a situation – now drugs exist which treat the symptoms of depression, allowing you to fix the problems, and escape from it. It can work – some people just need the push.
What has this to do with shyness? Well there is a thing for treating shyness, in exactly the same way called “alcohol”. Drank in moderation, with people who are not total pricks, can be some of the most enjoyable time you can ever spend.
I last enjoyed clubbing to 4am aged about 17 – and even then I hated the noice, culture and dancing – I just enjoyed being out late for the first time ever. Ever since then, I have enjoyed a chat with a friend or two, at a pub – maybe taking in a small crappy local band now and then. I absolutely love that.
I hardly ever come home blootered, tend to remember most of the night before and have friends I love like family.
Conclusion: Everything in moderation – including sobriety.
September 20, 2012 at 8:26 pm |
I was in exactly in the same position as you when I went to Uni.
* Most universities do ‘alternative to alcohol’ events that you can go to during Fresher’s Week. Even if you are not religious, local church gruops often do a lot, and they don’t expect you to join afterwards.
* Join a society that doesn’t really have a drinking culture. I was part of Student Radio (87.7 BailriggFM), and we didn’t go out to get hammered at all during Fresher’s Week. If you do sport, you won’t spend much time in the pub.
* Remember- you do not have to do anything that you really do not want to do. You do not have to be friend’s with drunks. In fact, most people I knew really didn’t drink at all.
* Hate clubbing? Don’t go. No-one will mind, and the ones that do are not your friends.
* Most people spend the next 3 years at University, avoiding the friends they made at Fresher’s Week, because they are embarrassed. Most, but not all, real friendships occur afterwards. I found one of my best friends when we were fed up with the dance music in the student bar during Fresher’s Week.
* Don’t put yourself under so much pressure. Just have fun.
September 20, 2012 at 12:15 pm |
First time around, I just spent that week vomiting. So I was kind of known as the tragically overly drunk person. After that degree, I went to a different uni, avoided the week of shenanigans, meet everyone in the first week of class, and made a hell of a lot of friends because I made a good impression. So yeah, like many other commenters, I say, skip freshers week and keep all your brain cells.
September 20, 2012 at 7:44 am |
Join about 10 societies and then realise that you actually cannot play the sports you have signed up to and that you are afraid of the confrontation given in the debating society. Then return to room and live life as a hermit
September 19, 2012 at 11:56 pm |
I think lots of universities have realised that not everyone is into getting really drunk, and put on alternative events. There will certainly be other likeminded freshers – not every 18 year old loves clubbing. If you’re shy, maybe theres some event scheduled where there is a specific thing to do, like a sport, something artsy or a pub quiz. Then you have something ready-made to talk about. It’s also worth bearing in mind that everyone in freshers’ week is so busy being self-conscious they are very unlikely to be judging you. And as Sam says, it honestly doesn’t all rest on your first week. Have a great time at university!
September 19, 2012 at 4:59 pm |
This is the reason I refused to go to uni…..
September 19, 2012 at 4:58 pm |
Check out the societies at your university. It can be a great way to meet like-minded new friends. Unfortunately, it can also be a great way to meet insufferable bores so take care who you swap phone numbers with!
September 19, 2012 at 4:44 pm |
It’s going to be alright whatever you do, as long as you don’t lock yourself in your room during freshers week or start spouting racist views.
You might want to at least give going out a try as it definitely helps in making friends during freshers. As for the whole embarrasing yourself on the dancefloor thing, everyone’s going to be drunk and no-one’s going to care what you’re doing. On the plus side for not going out, you’ll definitely save a lot of money. In the end though, it’s all coming from a loan which you’ll have to pay back either way so you might as well just spend it.
September 19, 2012 at 4:35 pm |
If you’re not into dancing, partying and vomiting your way home then you are unlikely to meet people you want to be friends with by going along to those sorts of evenings anyway!
September 19, 2012 at 4:34 pm |
Hell, even if you want to hide in your room all week and not talk to anyone, it’ll be fine. Fresher’s week is far from the only opportunity to make friends. In fact, nobody remembers the people they meet in that week anyway.
September 19, 2012 at 4:33 pm |
It’s not really a week of partying, not if you don’t want it to be. Most fresher’s week bonding is done in the pub, not at wild crazy dance events. If everyone else wants to scarper off to a club at 11 and you want to go back to bed, do it. They won’t remember you weren’t there anyway.
September 19, 2012 at 4:31 pm |
I was in the same situation last year, I think I went to one meet and greet (which I left early) and then just didn’t bother partying. for most of the year.