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lewd laptop

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In the past two episodes we’ve had questions about a dead laptop and a saucy home video, and now those two tropes combine in this question from Matt from Brownhills:

I work in the exciting field of IT repair for a big public organisation, and often do freebies repairing people’s personal computers when they break.

This week I was given a laptop that simply would not turn on. The laptop was knackered, and they just wanted all the files back.

Whilst getting these files, I noticed there were lots of videos of this person and I presume their partner “together”. (Yes, shagging.)

Answer me this: do I give her these files back on disk, thus making it awkward for the rest of our lives with her knowing I know about them, or do I pretend I never found them, giving her everything else but live with knowing she might have really wanted them but was too afraid to say?

OK Matt, answer yourself this – what do you think is MORE incriminating: returning all her files, with no suggestion that you looked at any of them; or returning only those files which you have personally filtered for acceptability?

I assume you’ve also fully perused her photo folders, combed her Word documents carefully in case she’s been writing erotica in her spare time, and thoroughly checked her Excel spreadsheets on the offchance you can convert the data into a titillating scatter graph. And backed up all her files to your own external hard drive, y’know, just in case she ever has computer trouble again or something…

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This entry was posted on August 14, 2012 at 1:35 pm and is filed under extracurricular questions. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

One Response to “lewd laptop”

  1. Someone from Somewhere's avatar Someone from Somewhere Says:
    August 14, 2012 at 4:53 pm | Reply

    The answer is obvious; A woman has requested that you return “all the files back” to her. She knows what’s on there. Presumably you have a relationship with this woman as you claim the awkwardness shall last “for the rest of [y]our lives.” I say she’s inviting you into her and her partners’ lovemaking.

    If I have learned anything from Seinfeld (and surly I have) when someone allows you to view lewd photos/videos of his/herself, you have the option, nay the responsibility, to reciprocate.

    My advice to you is immediately drop trou, snap a shot or ten and splice them into “all the files” you are expected to recover.

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