BYO wedding cake

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We get many questions about weddings; they are a mine of problems. Such as the one suffered by our next questioneer, who wishes to remain anonymous:

I have recently been invited to the wedding of a friend from university. We haven’t really spoken much over the last couple of years, for various reasons, but we were, previously, very close.

The wedding invitation came with a request that I bring with me some cake to add to their wedding supply, which I found odd, given the not-spoken-much thing, but never mind, I enjoy baking.

Answer me this: on the basis of the invitation, plus my expected assistance in supplying said wedding with cake, is it acceptable for me to reply asking that I get a plus one? (It should be possible as I know others who are turning down the invitation.) My friend has met my boyfriend a couple of times, briefly, so it wouldn’t be like I’d be bringing a stranger, but it would give me some sane back-up in yet another wedding.

Also, if I take cake, I’m excused from present-buying, right?

Before you make your official acceptance, call or email your friend asking whether you can bring your boyfriend. Though it may seem to you that your boyfriend can take the place of one of the non-attenders, your friend may have budgeted the wedding according to an expectation that a proportion of invitees would not be able to come.

Or, he might not have invited your boyfriend outright because, not having seen much of you recently, he might not have known whether you were still together, and didn’t want to stir up something painful if you weren’t.

Or maybe he just doesn’t like your boyfriend.

By the by, I think the cake thing is quite nice! It means you get to eat cakes that are much tastier than wedding cake, which is nobody’s idea of a tasty cake. But, if you really want to stir the pot, Cake Wrecks has plenty inspiration.

make one of these. WE DARE YOU.

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