Answer Me This! Podcast

** Click here for Episode 182 **

Seeing as covert surveillance on unsuspecting targets seems such a hot topic in the British media lately, let’s address the following question from Melissa from Kansas:

Recently my ex-boyfriend came back on leave from being injured like a ridiculous idiot tripping like a lunatic in the middle of a flipping war.

Anyway, I saw him in the parking lot of a local store and wondered what he was up to so I tried to check out his Facebook page, but he had blocked me. So my question is, would it be creepy if I made a separate Facebook profile just to keep tabs on the asswipe?

Of course it would be creepy! That is, if he’d even agree accept the friend request of someone he’s never heard of who has zero other friends (unless you were planning to track several other estranged acquaintances too). Casting yourself in a Psycho Ex-Girlfriend role would hardly reflect well on you either; nor would the decision to such lengths to spy upon somebody whom you believe to be an ‘asswipe’, rather than moving the hell on and avoiding psychological attrition at your own hand. Lastly, you do NOT want to be like any of the people in this story, you really don’t.

Sanctimonious lecturing over, let’s look at Melissa’s supplementary question:

Have any of you ever felt the impulse to check up on an ex?

Of course! Who hasn’t? We like to make sure that our former paramours are mere shells of human beings after we’ve finished with them, drifting through their drab wretched half-lives, ever bereft without us…or we at least like to know that they are aging prematurely. However we never stooped to such schemes as Melissa’s; we prefer to use flying monkeys for those dirty jobs.

Anyway, readers, have you ever in the past yielded to your inner Glenn Mulcaire and found out anything exciting about your ex? And how far did you go in the endeavour? Moving in next door would count as ‘far’. This would count as ‘definitely too far’.

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This entry was posted on July 12, 2011 at 2:40 pm and is filed under extracurricular questions, User-generated answers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.